At which age did you realize your submission or Dominance?

Living and Loving​(switch male) • Aug 24, 2020

I use to have fantasies of being locked in a castle prison (tower) with the Princess and having to fight my way out of it after being tortured with her when I was little. So I think it was always there but didn't fully catch on until I was like 12 or 13. Friend of mine stole a porn VHS tape (dating myself) from his parents secret stash and played it for a group of us. A part was all BDSM which freak everyone out except me. I was turn on.

rosethorn​(sub female) • Aug 24, 2020

First time i cottoned on was the club scene in the matrix i was about 15.. i had an idea before then but couldn't pin point what it was that i liked. Something about the rope on the ankles caught my eye with how well done it was and in the interview they said it was people from the community not the costume designer because it would be too many in that scene to research costume wise so they just invited the community
... me ...
What community
This exists its a thing
Where ?

Gowl​(sub male) • Aug 25, 2020

For me it was around 8 or 9. I was pretty submissive prior to this as it was but I didn't truly realize it. My experience is one that's frowned upon in society, but it helped make me who I am today and while I don't condone in any way what had happened I also don't regret or wish I could change it because it made me who I am today... Now for the story.

I had my first sexual encounter(s) when I was 8; almost 9. With my 3-year-older cousin who was starting to experiment. He so easily convinced me to walk over to some bushes to give him a handjob and it didn't stop there. After my first few experiences with him I started watching porn which is in fact how my mom found out I was gay despite me not coming out for another 5 years... She allowed me time to figure things out and let me know she loved me in her own ways.

So since those encounters I've learned I gain much more pleasure out of serving then I do being served. That's not to say I don't like being served but I'd be happy making another happy and it's as simple as that.

KnottyBunny • Aug 25, 2020

3 year old?

KinkySilverfox​(dom male) • Aug 25, 2020

I think there is an interesting juxtaposition between the inherent characteristic within the person and when you become aware of its existence.
For me I never discovered it, I was told by my partner at the time. She had seen the characteristics within me, it had been what attracted her to me. She then went on to teach me who I really was.

J Low​(sub female) • Aug 27, 2020

Ever since i can remember. ... i was made to submit as a child. I learned not be seen or heard. Progressing to what few childhood acquaintances I could have, on 3 occasions with sleepovers, the girls iniated sexual encounters. I let them lead me. ( ages 6,7, and 8. ) By the time I was 10, i fantasized about mystep-brrothers friends, who all hung out at our house , running a train on me... lost actual virginity at 11 to 16 year old guy in the neighborhood who just dominated me.. then at 12, my friends dad, total power domination..I'm like a moth to the flame.

HesitantlyCurious​(sub female) • Aug 27, 2020

I don’t think I ever had a realization that I was submissive. When I discovered BDSM and that there were dominants and submissives, my immediate thought was “pfft, well I’m a sub”. That was before I even knew whether or not I was into BDSM.

Being submissive is just part of being me. I follow the leader, I execute orders given to me, I’m a people pleaser, etc.

I have had a couple of instances where something nonsexual immediately made me realize I had specific kinks, but I’ve never had that with being dominant vs submissive.

ribbonbaby{Guarded} • Aug 27, 2020

HesitantlyCurious, exactly! That is what I was trying to explain. Lol

Mark nw london uk​(dom male) • Sep 4, 2020

early teens.
i can own a dog , but not a human? thats not right.
i did try a few times, those vanilla's are stubborn

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Sep 4, 2020

i was always kinky and always a sadomasochist (but a baby one).

i realized i was submissive for the first time when i met my D; i was 29 and he was 36. at the same time, he discovered his dominance.

i realized there was a name for what were were and tools to help us learn to navigate our dynamic in my late 30’s.

the community and resources from those that put in all the work before and those that continue to contribute, helped to make this the most happy and fulfilling relationship in my lifetime.