Being a “Boss Lady” - why is this an issue?

Being a “Boss Lady” - why is this an issue?

PrecorX​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2021

Disclaimer- this is NOT a gender comparison prompt. This is NOT an “I’m female, hear me roar” prompt either.

My hope is to gain clarity or perhaps open a few minds around the stereotypes of strong female leaders and submission.

Notice I don’t say verses submission. I’d like to think that a boss lady has the ability to choose submission and beautifully surrender to her Dom. Her submission, her drive, her fortitude and accomplishments are all reflections of a loving Dom. Her professional level and her financial portfolio have zero to do with how true her submission is to her Dom.

So I am curious why some have commented that a Boss Lady
- wants to be a man
- that the more money she makes the more she expects a man to make
- too intelligent to be submissive
- is really a closet Domme

I get that there are stereotypes around this topic because clearly there are some Boss Ladies who are not submissive.

My questions - is it a miss to jump to the assumption that a Boss Lady is not a true submissive?
Where is this belief born out of - fear? Insecurity? Where and why?

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2021

I mentioned this elsewhere, but I really believe that it comes down to some men just being intimidated by successful women. I would think that a truly dominant man who is secure in himself wouldn’t let preconceived assumptions cause him to write off all boss ladies as impossible to be submissive.

*Disclaimer I am not a boss lady. I am an independent lady however. *

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2021

this is a good discussion point. thank you for opening this thread. i hope my contribution can help reinforce the truth of our ability to do many things well as complex humans

i’m the ops director for my company with the ceo being my only work boss. an ex was my dom and one of my employees (not originally, i hired him halfway through the relationship). he is no longer in a relationship / dynamic with me, but is still an employee.

i think secure and respectful people can handle these things and can actually be proud their partner is capable and successful. it doesn’t matter who makes more money or has a higher position in the workplace.

my Dom, Jareth, and i share similar management philosophies and have similar positions in the workplace (We do not work together for the same companies). i definitely enjoy the understanding We have for one another in these similarities among many others. i believe, for me, that while opposites attract, they don’t last. i find the deepest fulfillment in a complimentary balanced partnership. a partnership is a partnership. M or D/s (all combos welcome), Yang/yin, or Yin/yang or whatever gender, the flow is the same.

i am a boss lady and a deeply devoted submissive.

Mufasadagreat • Nov 19, 2021

I think it more of a Dom feeling he’s not the breadwinner in the relationship. Men are taught that to be a provider he should have the top income of the household. So if his partner can provide for themselves than it takes away the title(provider) from the head man. Not all but most men fell less than without that title.

MrVesper​(dom male){Not Lookin} • Nov 19, 2021

So I am curious why some have commented that a Boss Lady
- wants to be a man
- that the more money she makes the more she expects a man to make
- too intelligent to be submissive
- is really a closet Domme

mi·sog·y·ny
/məˈsäjənē/
noun
noun: misogyny
dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

If men express this sentiment it is because they are threatened. They are trapped in a gender trope and lack the self confidence to accept men and women are equal. It goes to the core of their character and should not be encouraged, entertained or given any sort of fuel. They are weak, and by being weak they are literally missing half of what makes the world so interesting. They are dismissing an individuals rights and humanity.

As a male Dom, I practice what could be seen as misogynist tendencies when engaging with female subs. But that is not my intention, my intention is to take the bag of cats running through a subs mind and calm them. I do this in many ways, but never forget, or take for granted I am always dealing with a human being.

Other Male Doms may have a different opinion, but this is the one I use to level set myself when engaged in business, pleasure, or simply sitting in the back yard with a cocktail in hand.

Moonlighter​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2021

I may have missed the point of the OP, but to my knowledge several studies have shown that in general more successful independent people, prefer to be submissive in some facet of their lives, now that could be sexual such as bdsm or it could be that they let their partner control financial decisions etc etc whatever.

As for why people feel threatened by it ... you got me, I think some people are maybe jealous of success?

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2021

this made my coffee come out my nose . i’ve always loved “herding cats” as an expression, this will be a lovely addition.

IowaDom​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2021

IMHO - the more demanding, pressurized, and invasive a persons professional life is - develops one of two things..

1. A person who thrives and is literally fueled by that environment
2. A person who is fully able to be in it, function in it perfectly, but when away from it seeks a shelter from the storm as it were, someplace to recharge, and be completely safe while doing it, somebody who desires another to step into that power role, an let them let go completely an in a totally safe environment.

There are no job roles that auto assign Dom or Sub in the private world behind the locked doors ... those are our own to choose as we see fit.

just my thoughts .....

~ID~

PrecorX​(sub female) • Nov 19, 2021

I could not agree more. Wonderful summation of the two paths a leader can take.

Option two personally resonates with me. I thoroughly enjoy the role as a leader and thrive under stress and deadlines, as well as engaging in professional discussions with a Dom. None of that takes away from my need to surrender and my identity as a submissive.

His character, his drive, his loyalty, his care, his heart and ability to create a safe place it what brings me to my knees. It is not who has the more senior professional position nor whether his net worth bests my own.

My submission is a reflection of Him not my professional attributes.

IowaDom​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2021

With all due respect, NOTHING in a true dynamic should take away from either party. In fact, it should all add to, compliment, and reinforce each individually and as one.

And the safe place - it has no power to bring you to your knees, it is merely a place of absolute trust and honor, and only with the unwavering presence of both of those, can you AND your Dom do TOGETHER what only a BDSM dynamic will allow - to set aside all and bare your innermost primal wants, needs, desires and emotions to each other, free from judgement or ridicule, to truly join each other on a level most people will never know even exists.