Why Block conversation?

Why Block conversation?

MidlifeMan​(dom male) • Aug 10, 2020

I have pondered this and can't quite see why a sub is told by the Dom to block previous Dom's they communicated with?

I get the you should get all the Domination you need from your Dom.
I get you don't want contradicting instructions.
I even get the it's disrespectful to speak to other Dom's without yours knowing. (I personally have told RedKat, she is free to speak to any, if she feels they are disrespecting her, me or our relationship she should tell me, apart from that chat away)
I suppose I don't get the way it! Seems to be done, in my experience.
I have been talking to subs, then blocked (with no message just to say my Dom has told me I must, or I feel I should as I have a Dom now), Sometimes minutes later and the previous conversation had nothing offensive, or insensitive, I didn't feel.
Why is it OK in public chatrooms (or even Pm in them) but not messaging?
Is it just a power thing,
Is it insecurity (I don't expect any Dom to admit to this one)
These are just my thoughts and I welcome all views.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Aug 10, 2020

i think you have listed several reasons that would fit, or that people have.

i see two general and distinct types of D/s (though the variations are prolly innumerable). Some Doms and subs use force, rules, coercion, punishment, etc., to make of enforce 'submission.' i've never related to that and it doesn't work with me. Which is not to suggest it's invalid, it simple doesn't work for me.

The other, as i see it, uses romancing, seduction, grooming, etc., to tap into, surface, elicit submission from an already submissive person. When a Dom finds my collar points, He doesn't have to make rules, He only has to express need or desire, because i naturally want to please Him.

You note: "I get the you should get all the Domination you need from your Dom." i'd rephrase that to "if you are getting all the Domination you need from your Dom, then you are indeed Dominated...i.e., your need is met."

To me the question of insecurity can be broader? I.e., it doesn't necessarily have to be the Dom who is insecure, it could be the relationship that is insecure? For instance, maybe a new relationship and both agree to certain boundaries while bonds are being attached and secured? Sort of elimimatig noise not fear of lack of power on the Dom's part, or lack of submission on the subs part, just that there has not been time to establish or strengthen those connections yet, so just making it a less busy process?

idk. i personally the approach i go for is two mature people want a foundation of complete freedom for each partner, at all times. i don't see life or D/s as a one time gesture or decision, but a continuous decision to Dom or sub. Not a static thing, but an ever deepening process. To me, once a tight bond is established, it cannot be untied, or it's at least resistant to, "other Doms" or "other subs."

i don't think rules or attitudes based on fear tap into Domination or submission. They seem surface to me.

MissMelisandre​(dom female) • Aug 10, 2020

I personally find such demands to be beneath me. Do I expect total dedication and attention from my boy toy? Absolutely. But it's because he is enthralled by me and would prefer to lavish all attention on me as opposed to others, not because I demand it.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Aug 10, 2020

^^^This^^^

Onlinedomguy​(dom male) • Aug 10, 2020

i would never make such a demand. I want anyone i am involved with, in any kind of relationship, to have as much support as she needs from whom ever can provide it.

I would trust anyone who committed to me that they would not hide anything from me. If i found out they were, then we would have a talk.

But i want my subs to have friends in their lives they can turn to.

HGB​(sub female){Scottish M} • Aug 11, 2020

I have seen this many times and from my pov any Person I am with (my preference Dom Male) who insists I cut all communication with my friends be however they identify will not stay in my life. My SIR insists I speak to others, knows I speak to other Dom's. He can't be there for me all the time and wants me to have others in my life. I feel it is a way to get that person from all their support.

ChillVibes​(sub male) • Aug 11, 2020

I've seen plenty of people who hide behind 'dominance' as an excuse for their otherwise shitty behavior. The whole 'cutting off communication' thing in particular really bothers me though. I watched a relatively close friend, just trying to get into the lifestyle, get swept off their feet by a charming dom, and in their inexperience, agreed to way more than they should have, ignoring the first glaring red flag of the dom policing who they could and could not talk to. Was a terrible situation and they lost contact with a ton of good friends for months before we all managed to track them down and talk them out of this relationship. Abuse is abuse, even with a kinky veneer.

TL;DR Of course if it's negotiated and it is something that is mutually desired, that's one thing, but I've seen this tactic used on the inexperienced and watched it blossom into much uglier things.

MidlifeMan​(dom male) • Aug 11, 2020

Thank you all for your responses, some different thoughts all valid and well presented. As I said blocking for a reason I get, but a message to say "we are focusing on our relationship at the moment" would in my mind be the polite way to do it. The only people i block without a similar message are the rude ignorant people who don't listen or respect boundaries.

veal • Aug 11, 2020

veal • Aug 11, 2020

Must say Miss I'm very interested I'm hoping we can talk get to know each other better I cant send a private message Please try to send me private message Hope to hear from you soon