| JoMan(dom male) |
2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
Brat taming advice wanted.
Very new to bdsm and my partner ( female sub) has really taken to bratting, and I ( male dom ) am enjoying it too. Now just as I'm starting to get a handle on her she pulls up a new thing and ignores me, just smirking at me.
I'm asking for very general advice on how to approach this. |
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SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
I'm sorry to say but each person is different so really think about her and how she thinks. You are going to have to think faster than her in order to corral her.
Brats aren't really tamed but rather, choose to submit. Once they do though, they submit DEEEEEPLY. When she is bratting in a meaning way, there is something bothering her. When she brats in a playful, teasing way, she is trying to connect and is feeling safe enough to know that she can push against the boundaries a little. Brats are a a sudoku puzzle and escape room except in people form. Enjoy the games. 
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WhatamIfightingfor(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
I will add you will have to learn her language. How she communicates, and work hard on it, and make no assumptions.
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| JoMan(dom male) |
2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
@SirsBabyDoll . I think my big problem is I just tend to overthink things. I'm a bit of a soft dom at the moment and need to work at it if I'm going to be a brat tamer
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| JoMan(dom male) |
2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
SirsBabyDoll wrote: I'm sorry to say but each person is different so really think about her and how she thinks. You are going to have to think faster than her in order to corral her.
Brats aren't really tamed but rather, choose to submit. Once they do though, they submit DEEEEEPLY. When she is bratting in a meaning way, there is something bothering her. When she brats in a playful, teasing way, she is trying to connect and is feeling safe enough to know that she can push against the boundaries a little. Brats are a a sudoku puzzle and escape room except in people form. Enjoy the games. How the hell does quoting work? 
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WhatamIfightingfor(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
I highly recommend to forget the word tamer, think more along along the line of leader and companion. A true leader does not tame, but embraces and works with.
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| JoMan(dom male) |
2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
I can definitely change that mindset to companion and leader. My partner is a really strong and independent woman. Weve been together for long, but our relationship is needing a change wherein I step up. Hence BDSM. Plus BDSM is fun
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SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
Brat taming is not a title you get to keep. It's bestowed on you by a single submissive and is removed once the dynamic ends.
Keep in mind, being a Brat is not something someone wakes up in the morning and says, "I'm interested in Bratism! I'm gonna go learn." There are no "workshops" or instruction manuals. Brats are born from trauma. When a Brat acts out, it's a trauma responces, just like any other PTSD surviver. It's an emotional pain responce. I personally dislike the term "tamer" because really, it's about healing. Help her work through her pain, help her feel confident that she CAN take the journey of healing, and the distasteful bratting naturally goes away. |
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| JoMan(dom male) |
2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
I can definitely hear what you have to say on healing rather than taming. My partner definitely has trauma and PTSD, I just figured bratting didnt have anything to do with it. The bratty side of her can be really fun and mischievous
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| JoMan(dom male) |
2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
And I dont necessarily want the bratty to go away or consider it to be distasteful. It comes with lots of fun. So far it's been spanks and giggles. The ignoring just caught me way off guard
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