When you think of a Dominant, do you assume they enjoy sadism?

DesertLizard​(sub female) • Sep 9, 2020

For what it's worth, I myself think of dominant and sadistic as separate in part because I also think of submissive and masochistic as separate. I myself identify as sexually submissive but my sense is that I don't get off on pain. I want to be controlled and told what to do and such but I don't want to receive a lot of pain. A little bit of pain is fine. For example, I do like being spanked. But even then I think it's not primarily the pain that excites me but the symbolism or the idea of being punished or experiencing the physical strength of the other person. I also do not enjoy rough sex that much. I am much more into the idea of a Dom who is stern, patient, measured, rather than aggressive and sadistic. So I think you can totally identify as a Dom; you don't have to put "other". Domination doesn't have to involve inflicting pain.

hopefulbabygirl​(sub female) • Sep 9, 2020

I do not-I think you can be both, neither or be either or.

Just like a sub doesn’t have to be a masochist to be a sub.

Bunnie • Sep 9, 2020

“When you think of a Dominant, do you assume they enjoy sadism?”

No. I try not to assume anything in this lifestyle... that’s what can get people hurt.

Never assume that what means one thing to me, will mean the same to another... always clarify... especially if negotiating... that’s my motto.

Miki • Sep 9, 2020

No. I seek out a sadist if I want to get my ass whipped and a dom if I just want to serve.

Simple for me, perhaps not so clear cut for others. Just my 2 cents here.

kajirasubm{On Hiatus } • Sep 11, 2020

I don't automatically think in terms of sadism when I think of Dominance.
But I do believe that every Dominant has varying degrees or drops of sadistic possibilities in them.
The fine line between power, rough and levels of how far to take it.
For example bondage and seeing a submissive struggle in helplessness. There is pleasure in this for a Dominant.
A spanking can be for correction, but that stinging reddening flesh is thrilling.
Every Dominant has the ability.
Might not merely be physical but emotional.
It depends upon how many drops.