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How do I acquire a sub girl?

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Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast}
6 months ago • 09/23/2020 9:47 pm
Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • 09/23/2020 9:47 pm
Start going to your local dungeon for education and skills classes. Read up books on BDSM from reputable authors. Work to be in control of your life and everything in it. Find a respected local Dom to help you on your path.

A Dominant who has yet to completely dominate himself isn’t to be trusted; neither is a Top without skills and knowledge. You work hard and perhaps one day win someone’s trust enough to earn their submission. BDSM is more than what you see in porn.
tallslenderguy​(other male)
6 months ago • 09/24/2020 2:59 am
tallslenderguy​(other male) • 09/24/2020 2:59 am
There are a lot of "sub girls" on this site. Find one that interests you and contact them and tell them you are interested and ask them how they would like you to go about getting to know them. i think knowing someone is one of the first steps of relationship.
6 months ago • 09/24/2020 3:29 am
GentleDomforyou • 09/24/2020 3:29 am
Go down to the subsRus and buy two. They are on sale. Really dude, how do you get a girlfriend, it’s really not different
KittyisWatching​(sub female){Taken}
6 months ago • 09/24/2020 1:26 pm
KittyisWatching​(sub female){Taken} • 09/24/2020 1:26 pm
Treat us as humans and people before you go trying to be Dominant with us. Get to know us before you attempt to take power and control. We are humans first and submissives second.
6 months ago • 09/24/2020 3:35 pm
shortylotus • 09/24/2020 3:35 pm
Pick 2-3 questions about bdsm. Send them to a few profiles of people you are interested in and a few people that don't seem your type. You might be surprised how you see a person in there profile is different then the person they really are.
Grey Eyes​(sub female){Sir Don}
6 months ago • 09/24/2020 4:32 pm
Grey Eyes​(sub female){Sir Don} • 09/24/2020 4:32 pm
@ Yack. I really hate to go where I am going to go with this. Really I do. At 18 I was very mature, but there was no way I would have been ready for BDSM at that point. On the other hand, BDSM was not something that was discussed openly in the circles I traveled in the 70s.

I can say that we are all individuals and I see a few on the Cage who started BDSM very early in their lives. More power to them.

Yack, at 18 do you have the maturity it takes to care for your submissive when she crashes? To be sure she is safe? To watch her for clues that you have gone too far, or that she has? Do you have the ability and maturity to keep reign on things that you want to do but she does not?

My suggestion is to approach this slowly. As others have mentioned in this thread, learn by reading non fiction BDSM books and reading blogs and forum posts. A mentor is a good idea. Learn about all aspects of BDSM to determine what your real interests are. Go to munches in your area when things open back up and watch, learn by talking to others. Be a sponge and soak up as much knowledge as you can.

This is not an overnight "I'm a Dom hear me roar". That's something you earn with time.
DangerouslySafe​(sadist male)
6 months ago • 09/24/2020 7:18 pm
DangerouslySafe​(sadist male) • 09/24/2020 7:18 pm
Yack I would say first that your willingness to say that you don't know and you are trying to learn shows a maturity that it took me till the end of my 20s to acquire. That in my book is being ahead of the game. Being a Dom is something built in that you know but doesn't make you all knowing or immune from mistakes. Looking back I know that I was not ready and if I had been willing to say I don't know but I want to learn then it could have avoided damage to a sub and myself. Its a lot of power and I had to learn the emotional and psychological damage that my actions could inflict if not properly balanced. Its a catch 22 though because I also know that I would never have gotten where I am today without those experiences. So it is an age old question of chicken or egg. You need experience to learn but it seems you need to be experienced to participate. I will come back to this in a second but first I will also say that in todays world things are very immediate. Because of that mentally it seems that things should just fall perfectly in place and go. The image created by stories, web sites, movies, etc is that the Dom just walked up to a sub/slave and slapped their collar on them and the sub responded and loved it. But in reality this is a dangerous concept because even though a sub/slave my desire to be Dominated it is for specific reasons and needs that they have. In a good D/s relationship, no matter how crazy the dynamic may appear to the vanilla world, some need the people that are in dynamic have is being met. If a Dom is not providing that need (even if that need is needing to be full controlled) and the sub is only meeting the Doms needs then in a lot of cases it can venture to an abusive relationship that will leave scars. Now i said all of that to say the best way to get experience is be honest, upfront and take time to learn about someone like you would in a normal relationship. Get to know what makes that person who they are and what need they have. This is not as easy because newer or younger subs may have no idea or may not be able to express it. So asking directly will not work. Its something that you have to learn over time. A lot of subs want an experienced Dom but if you are honest with them and realize it doesn't happen overnight you will find a sub. Also realize every sub that might want you to be their Dom may not be a good fit for you even if she thinks she would be. I have often turned away subs because I saw that their needs and desires didn't match mine and it would probably end with them being in a much worse state. But all this takes time, being fully upfront and open about every aspect of the relationship including tough topics that a lot people avoid and protect her interest as much as your own. Also start studying, reading, asking questions like this as much as you can. You never stop learning and growing.
Those are my thoughts. Good luck and best wishes!