Submissive and Slave

Bella duPuy​(sub female){Not lookin} • Oct 18, 2017

..."...It's not the responsibility of the Dom/Domme to learn about the sub's fetishes and satisfy them."

That is the complete antithesis of my findings through research & in my discussions with seasoned & respected Doms/Dommes as well as seasoned subs, Ramifa1975.

How did you arrive at this conclusion?

TakenLower • Oct 18, 2017

I didn’t totally get that either. When Master and I first started talking as Dom/sub he spent an enormous amount of time figuring me out. If he didn’t know me better than I know myself he could never have any hope of having any control over me. Sure, I might be submissive towards anyone that I engage with sexually because that’s my nature but to own the mind, body, heart and soul you have to know that person inside out. This goes both ways. As his sub I had to allow myself to be open and honest about everything and give him the ability to be my Dominant, and then I have to learn him so that I can do my job. I think it depends on the level of what you want. Some people just want to physically feel the power over them, and fill their need to serve. You don’t have to know the core person to do that surface level.

ramifa1975​(sub male) • Oct 18, 2017

If a Dom/Domme works on satisfying her slave's fetishes, it means that he/she is serving the slave, which is totally against the principles of this lifestyle

TakenLower • Oct 18, 2017

I don’t agree with that in the least but as I said it depends. If I wanted to fill some needs, then get up and go about my life that’s not essential. To own a being one must know the needs and supply those needs.

I can be a toy. I can be a mindless thing, but I am not an object and I am not mindless. Not all the time. I am when it’s expected. I am when it’s in the proper situation. If he didn’t fill my needs, I would not be with him and it goes both ways.

Part of our recent problems were intertwined in this. My needs weren’t being met, and because I was a dumb cunt I didn’t speak up and then I resented him and then I was acting crazy and then he resented me and the whole thing blew up in our face.

It was my failure to not speak up, and his failure to not see that my “crazy” was for a reason. We failed to communicate. That’s normal, shit happens. We are working it out through communication and patience.

ramifa1975​(sub male) • Oct 18, 2017

Dear Taken
I'm a little bit different, I do believe that my only need is to see my owner succeed and enjoy her life. When i sign the agreement to become her property i lose all the rights humankind has given to me, and only keep the ones she wants me to keep.
And yes, i will become like any object she owns and she will have the full right to use me the way she wants.
I believe that when i become her slave, i must forget about my life and start working hard on improving hers as much as i can, because she will own my life as well.
She doesn't need to care about my sexual fantasies, because as a slave, my most important fantasy should be satisfying my owner's needs. She will be the top priority i have for the rest of my life.
I don't even believe that i should keep the right of stopping this relationship once we start it, this decision should only be in her hand

TakenLower • Oct 18, 2017

I can see that point of view. That is a deeper level. This young girl has never been a sub in person. One can not hope to get to that level without first trusting in the Dominant. You can do what you do because you trust that your basic human needs of food, shelter and light will be met. Basically that she won’t permanently fuck you up and oops you died. To get to that level of trust your Dominant has to know you. There are many different levels of ownership but I think jumping to the highest level before you even experienced the first is a grave mistake.

ramifa1975​(sub male) • Oct 18, 2017

I agree,
There should be a transition period, she gets control on my life gradually, but if i really want to live this lifestyle, my aim will be to reach this level at the end and totally submit to her, otherwise, it will only be a pure sex game just to satisfy some sexual fantasies and not a real lifestyle.

TakenLower • Oct 18, 2017

It is my eventual goal too, if he desires it. We don’t live together and sometimes that makes me reluctant to say that I am a slave. However, I know that if/when the time is right he will let me know and then we explore a whole new level. In actuality I consider myself to be “half slave” because our circumstances demand this. I am a slave in his presence and conduct myself with him in mind while we are apart. That is the most we can achieve at this time but that doesn’t make it any less valid.

Jessica_Jewlz​(sub female) • Oct 18, 2017

Since i last posted on this thread, i have learned a lot. I an a kajira, a Gorean slave girl. My master is my Master, but also my boyfriend. He says i am his possession but also his girl. I have been told that what we do is not real, but it is our dynamic. I enjoy being his property. It has helped me in both my professional and personal life. But we switch in and out of character. Though i allow him to be my Master, knowing he would never step over what i am comfortable with and if i said stop hs would. It is our dynamic and works well for us. I think each dynamic is tailored for the needs of each couple.

TakenLower • Oct 18, 2017

If it works it works! My very first experience in my early 20s was with a Gorean Master that happened to stumble upon me in a totally non D/s environment. He saw in me what I have only just begun to see in myself. We never took it to a “real” life meeting, however the feelings were real and I loved him very much. He was an important part of that time in my life. We had a bad ending because I was young and really flighty (I am still flighty) but even so I still think of him now and then hoping that he has found his real kajira and contentment in his life.