Sub-space?

Sub-space?

BoundandTired​(sub female) • Nov 3, 2020

I'm new to bdsm and I've read on a few blogs or books. Or even just people describing how it is with their Dom. But I was wondering what is Sub-space or how would you describe it. Never experienced this and was curious about it. Also have you been in a D/S relationship and never had this happen to you?
Thank you

kare​(sub female) • Nov 3, 2020

I have found what works for me is to be blindfolded and have my ear buds in with music on...this allows me to just focus on the sensations such as being being flogged/whipped/canned...i don't know what he is going to do next...i have found that my tolerance level goes up and it takes more for me to feel the pleasure from it...but it is an unbelieveable feeling when you do get into that space....my orgasms are also more intense ...

xlilbratbaex​(sub female){Owned} • Nov 3, 2020

For myself, a subspace is a head space where my perception is drastically effected. My sense of attention is heightened which often leads to me completely forgetting the world around me and solely focusing on my dom. Scientifically speaking, this happens because the sympathetic nervous system responds to BDSM because of the typical inclusion of pain and pleasure. A release of the natural chemicals epinephrine, endorphins, and enkephalins contribute to drug induced emotions. These chemicals are a part of the fight or flight response which stimulates a morphine-like result. As a submissive, the chemicals increase pain tolerance, creating a floating feeling when pain is introduced. For many, a subspace creates a drunk or high feeling — pain is gone, problems disappear, and your current state of mind is a dizzy of joyful feelings.

Miki • Nov 3, 2020

I don't do the earbuds though. I like the sound of a crop, cane or whip striking my vulnerable body and the sensation of involuntarily jerking as the pain from the lash registers. But my answer is pretty much the same. Pain with pleasure coupled with some humiliation (as in suspension flogging and sometimes a like-minded "audience" all heighten the sexual response of my bod.

I haven't experienced the "tolerance" bit just yet probably because I didn't "play" all that often but it is nice to know if it does develop, the one subjecting me to the experience can always dish out more until I squirm and start screaming. It's also helpful the lashes are distributed evenly over my entire body rather than concentrated on my back or my ass.

SAXMANIAC​(sub female) • Nov 4, 2020

I never knew there was a term for what I was feeling until I came to this site.

For me it's like nothing else in the world exists except the sensations that I am feeling.
I can totally block everything else out. I've never been blindfolded but I keep my eyes tightly
closed so that I don't know where Sir is or what He's going to do next. It almost feels like I'm
floating. I have often been brought to tears, and can get so far gone that He has to bring me back.

BoundandTired​(sub female) • Nov 4, 2020

Saxmaniac, how would he bring you back?

SAXMANIAC​(sub female) • Nov 4, 2020

Usually he can do it by just talking to me, telling me to come down or holding me, giving me a moment to take it all in. Aftercare is very important.

Naturenurture​(sub female) • Nov 5, 2020

I agree, it's the euphoria, letting completely go of fear, life's issues, allowing yourself to be who you fully are sexually, being in the moment bound and cut off from making decisions, for one it could be whipping, intense teasing, flogging, brought to orgasm but not allowed to, or it could be other things depends on the person. Nothing matters but Him and you( or whomever is in that room with you. )

Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 5, 2020

When you know your life is in the hands of another.
When you never been in more danger yet never been safer.
When any pain and warnings and threats quickly turn to affection.
When you're more then just yourself alone and when they're more then them. But instead both, events being directed and letting things happen even when you're taking the initiative without being stopped.

Subspace at the end of the day is just another way for saying "happy" or "In the zone". And I've never been more in it when adapting to situations with someone that shows they appreciate me and makes use of me. Well, I do feel it when beating a difficult game on the hardest difficulty setting (Devil May Cry 3 on Dante must Die mode being one). It's that feeling of knowing you're doing well. Playing IN the game but ADAPTING with it. The same concept applies with people. They can set the board and then you have to dance on it. Once you know you're being looked after that well while they get their own needs met then you know you're doing well.

Think of any situation where you've felt like you've done something. Not for mere objects and items but more then that. The goal could be "Because I can". Or the goal itself can even be lacking. But the journey? You're there for each other when all is said and done. Where others go on about "after" care, I say "Always there". It's a matter of consistency. Why should the affection be at the "end"? Have it throughout as well. While the other things are happening. A game doesn't hold back yet it will reward you throughout. So I make sure people are no different. Everything needs balance and contrast.

And when someone somehow hits all your buttons, every single one, and the communication was little yet they're that effective, well, a sense of pride will be fuelling your "happy" chemicals. Which further leads to that feeling of what people refer to as "subspace". But people only all it subspace because they likely don't know exactly what it is. It's chemicals. Brian and body chemicals that change and shift constantly based on everything we do that happens around us. Most people are unable of being "that happy" consistently. And that can be a struggle. That said I have no sympathy for those that can't even admit that. It's already been stated (and proven over and over) that people feel "more free and more themselves" in those situations. Don't confine it to "subspace" alone. Consider how can you KEEP feeling that way.

The path to getting there has a lot of technical details that will vary depending on who is asked. But it all revolves around one simple concept. To never hide. For this to happen one must never lie either. And find acceptance with company that matters. Always be yourself. Never let anything stop you. Debate with idiots that don't understand. Focus on the more accepting people while doing so. You'll not only find acceptance, you'll also make being accepted happen yourself. Also a lot of pushing away and rejection from fear and misunderstandings. You'll feel that sense of happiness much more easily with those that don't do that. But in order to get to that you may have to go through what Joker and Batman did. They fight. They struggle. It's a power exchange if you think about it. But throughout all the conflict and opposed ideologies they do come to respect and even admire each other. Not that either would actually say that. But their actions show they care at times. Even when at each others throats. I suppose their version of subspace is found through the debate and fights they have.

There's more "peaceful" approaches, but the end feeling is the same. That sense of tranquillity. Even if there's chaos in the eye of the storm. You could be standing together and facing the world. Or you could be standing against each other only to be at each others sides even then. But always are you present. Always will you drive each other. Some fall to the illusion of it. End up being left at the end. And some never lose it at all. Knowing they're everything and are everything back in return. That can happen in more then just one moment. It can happen in multiple moments. It can even happen forever.

Considering I'm a little harder to please (Licking boots and whipping me without context doesn't cut it) then I'd say anyone managing to put me in the zone is someone that knows what they're doing. Not with me but others too. The trick is to be direct. Yet show appreciation and affection. Even through most cruel of moments. Sensual deprivation can be a good example. You might feel "lost and confused" but at the same time know you're "safe enough". Even if someone might take pleasure in your suffering (but not your misery). Although to get to that point of feeling happier then ever you may have to be broken first. Much like how a computer game might throw everything at you before you learn to overcome the enemies in it. With both games and people you learn to coexist instead of just fight. You know you "adapt". And through that know you're capable. And when that happens while getting your needs met (being "truly yourself and interacted with" being one of them) you just feel happy. Simple really.

MountaintopMaster • Nov 29, 2020

Wow, so many great replies! This was a fantastic read.

For me as a switch who has experienced both sides of the dynamic, I think "sub space" is literally the way being dominated makes your head spin, especially when blindfolded and experiencing something where you're not quite sure what's going on, or what is going to happen next, but you know two things:

One- that your Dom is doing whatever THEY want, completely unhinged and bent on their own desires, ...and YOU are about to be the catalyst, the reason they explode with maximum pleasure...

Two- that whatever happens, no matter how crazy, shocking, or even painful, ...it will eventually lead to your own overwhelming mind-blowing pleasure, and of course, eventually, safety, love, and affection from your Dom.