GenX(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Nov 6, 2020
Understanding my place in this lifestyle
Am I the only one who can sometimes feel lost in this lifestyle?
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Online now
Miki
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3 years ago •
Nov 6, 2020
I doubt that very much. They have books and experts and shit who outline what "the lifestyle" should be about, but in reality, it's about how you, as an individual, approaches it, what you expect VS what the sub or dom expects and, well, as with anything involving humans, there is an infinite slate of variables that makes everyone's experience different.
If you feel lost, well, that will pass. In these screwy times of COVID, many avenues of meeting like minded people are shuttered. So deal with the online scene, talk to people and think how their thoughts and opinions register with you. Eventually you'll find your own way. It does not have to adhere to any "official" definition, either. Consider me for example. I'm not "truly" in "the lifestyle". I am a sexual masochist. I submit in such situations to get my pain and pleasure, but by day I live quite the vanilla life. I live on my own and relish my independence. By the Book I'm not a "real" sub... But that's jake with me! |
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TheWhorelock(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Nov 6, 2020
It’s a true shame that the way online kink communities have evolved to talk about Dominant’s and Submissives as if that were the norm. Real life kink communities, meaning people who have legitimately practiced in person for significant periods of time, are not made entirely of submissives and dominants. Some of the kinkiest people in scene are “only” tops and bottoms. Topping and bottoming are not any less legitimate than being a Dominant or a submissive. They’re just ways of playing with power. For instance, if I live with my sub 24/7 in a dynamic, but all we do beyond me being in charge and setting the rules of our life and dynamic is a little spanking and orgasm control, who is kinkier, me or the top who only Tops twice a week, but exclusively does needles, blood play, fire play, sounding and rope suspensions?
The question is useless. What matters is engaging with play from a model of consent and being honest about what you want and desire. Nobody is a better kinkster than anyone else, we’re all just people enjoying their experience. |
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Aquarius Dom(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Nov 6, 2020
Without being disrespectful you are still so very young, lots of time to explore, yes you will wander into places that appear great but aren’t or misd that little side avenue that leads to a pleasure palace, don’t try and fit into a particular labelled box, how about you create a box called You , fill it with things that mean something good or not so good , once you have your You box deciding your onward journey should be so much easier
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SubtleHush(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Nov 15, 2020
kinkykink : "Am I the only one who can sometimes feel lost in this lifestyle?"
(In what way do you feel lost?) (What is it you are looking for but can't find if anything?) |
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