Online now
Online now

Two questions for a newbie

SubtleHush​(sub female)
3 years ago • Nov 24, 2020
SubtleHush​(sub female) • Nov 24, 2020
1. "Is it typical for a Domme to require a payment to become involved?"

No. Financial, tribute, and blackmail Domination are not newbie territory. It boils down to you not giving money to a stranger. ANY stranger. I don't agree with them as forms of power exchange but some enjoy it. Still you are not ready to make an informed decision about such things.

2. "What are the signs I should look for that who I’m dealing with is genuine and/or not?"

That depends on what you seek. Are you looking for a serious relationship where you are accepted for the whole person that you are?

Then you might want to step off of people who rush the fantasy, and try to manipulate you. Keep it vanilla to get to know each other. We also are still in the mix with this virus so anyone who asks or demands anything of you that is unsafe is an unsafe person. Beware of them.

Take the time to figure out what you want to do in this realm. In BDSM you should avoid people who will push you and your boundaries just because they think they can.

If you are looking for just play partners and experiences well, not a great time for that. Covid cases are going up so again, anyone who expects you to put yourself at risk under the guise of power exchange is probably a bad choice.

Catfish are people who play on your emotions and get close to you. Once you are in it deep they usually come up with a problem and need money for it or they might just need the attention and fantasy.

Seldom who they say they are.
Often have last minute emergencies that keep them from meeting when promised. Even if you fly or drive out to them.

Basically they are lying about who they are. Why they do it varies but it is dishonesty and playing on your emotions so best way to avoid it is to stay local with prospective people and listen for a lot of hard luck stories where you are the only one they can trust or how they know you won't let them down etc.
.................
There are some very good discussions here and on fetlife, and some books out there that a simple search on Amazon for BDSM will bring up a host of them.

I'd suggest you avoid the fantasy and stick with more informative books.
A different loving.
The bottoming/topping books
SM 101
the loving dominant
Screw the roses.

etc