Unfair makes fair. Huh.

Unfair makes fair. Huh.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Sep 3, 2021

I'm actually invested 100% from the start. From the moment I meet you. That probably confuses you. I fully expect that.

I also get quick results in a week even if someone is saying they're "not interested" and has every concern under the sun. That's with all of my needs being met (even ones rejected at first with quick change). Theirs too of course. Think about this for a moment.

Let's say hyperthetically you come across someone that is quite logical yet tells you they're "not interested" and has concerns regarding all of your needs (that was my situation btw). They're a very logical person and will consider your thoughts/opinions even if in disgreement/conflict.

Do you think you can talk that kind of person into doing things with you? Or do you not have enough confidence in yourself to even try? Confidence or not would you try anyway?

Personally I see it like this. Effort gets results. Always try.

I_am_the_Sea​(sub male){One Day} • Sep 3, 2021

Not interested is not interested!

Even if they are wrong it is not your place to convince them of that fact.

The idea of you cajoling someone to accept you after they say no is like Pepe Lepew mauling and rubbing up against a poor defenseless cat Paramore trying to cover it with kisses. It is both harassment and everything people complain about on this site.

Don't be an idiot. Take the no with some grace and move on.
~I_am_the_Sea

Re: Unfair makes fair. Huh.

I_am_the_Sea​(sub male){One Day} • Sep 3, 2021

THIS!!! What you described as "confidence" is Actually "Desperation"

Confidence is accepting the rejection and moving on. No hurt feelings just recognition of the wishes of another.

Desperation is discarding the wishes of another over your own desires and pressing them upon another without any concern of thier wishes.

You are not confident, you are desperate.

And sad...
~I_am_the_Sea

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Sep 3, 2021

I_am_the_Sea​(sub male){One Day}
Re: Unfair makes fair. Huh.

Quote:
"Do you think you can talk that kind of a person into doing things with you? Or do you not have enough confidence in yourself to even try? Confidence or not would you try anyway?"

THIS!!! What you described as "confidence" is Actually "Desperation"
.......
Yes to a pathological degree, he is desperate.

AND without their consent, because they have already told him NO, it is NEVER a positive or appropriate thing to push so much. And NO will never mean "Yes push harder". If he is selling someone on the concept of respect, THIS is the very behavior that shows them how much he is lying. Truth is, it doesn't work unless that other person is passive or more desperate than you are.

At those times they deserve respect, maybe space, but not bullying
.......

What the OP shows you in this post and every rant he puts out regardless of the topic and in spite of constant feedback is that he really does not listen when people talk. He has zero respect for what others see in him just as he has zero respect for the person declining him, therefore he has no intention of evolving or improving at all.

This is why he fails. And I know he fails because he is on here still pushing out the same commercials that he is special, knowing, and worth accepting for his damaged thinking and desperate abusiveness. This is why block was invented.

While I work hard not to read his crap and get sucked into one-way debates, I appreciate your response I_am_the_Sea​ because I still hope if others see him for what he is, he might just listen. However impossible that may be.

H

Miki • Sep 3, 2021

OK, the O P does have his ways, which can grate on the nerves of anyone at times, and I even have sounded off about his "walls of text", and the sometimes circuitous logic found therein, but I'll try to be civil in my reply.

Everyone has feelings.

No Thanks means just that, and when someone replies in that manner, it's really best to wish them a pleasant day and move on.

Cajoling, insisting... basically not taking "Not Interested" for an answer has nothing to do with one's self confidence, rather it speaks to stubbornness, and is a fool's errand.


It's a function of confidence to acknowledge that "that dog won't hunt" and accept it.

I repeat: Persisting and insisting can make even the supremely confident pursuer look like a horse's ass.

* * * * *

Finally and personally, when I indicate to someone I am not interested in what they are asking/offering, I do not run off a litany of personal "problems" "needs" or any other sort of crap that's going on in my day, if any.


I give a very plain reason or two and call it a day... And then say "Good Day" to the one making the offer in hopes they "get it", aren't hurt, and realize it is not about them, their looks, their age.. It's about me simply not being interested.

As I say often, I'll write back and forth to anyone who sends a message, but if/when they try to up the ante, take it to the next level, and all that shit, I say "No thanks" and if they want to keep conversing and can take "No Thanks" for an answer as to the next level, great.

Otherwise, "Rock On."

NoClvrNickname​(sub female) • Sep 3, 2021

You’re asking if it’s okay to whine, cajole, plead, beg, insist, cry, whatever, to try to get someone to do something that they have already stated they do not want to do? Really? Accept that you are not everyone’s cup of tea and move on with your life before you get a No Contact order served on you by the local sheriff’s department.

Lady Char​(sub female) • Sep 3, 2021

I am very polite (I hope) when I say no thank you, but if people don't respect that, I will get a lot less polite very quickly. One response I hate is "Why?" I don't have to tell you why. I looked, and I made my decision. You aren't entitled to my thought process.

I would also pose that someone who shows from the very start that they don't respect your boundaries and don't listen to no, isn't someone I want to be engaging in any Ds activities with.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Sep 3, 2021

Not everyone is going to like you. A part of being confident is accepting that and moving on.

Balthezor • Sep 3, 2021

Bruh 🤨

Sasa​(dom female) • Sep 3, 2021

You know that I don't read very much of what you write. Too long, tiring. I mean you are difficult and I bet you know that. This is not a compliment and not meant to be an insult. You are not everyone cup of tea and that is fine too.

We all can't talk people into us until they give in! It is not working and you wouldn't want that... if someone is not interested, he or she is not interested. Let them go with grace no matter how frustrated you are.

By the way. I read profiles several times and I read what people write... others do the same. It gives me a good picture of a person. Is that a kind open letter to someone? Wow, you and your posts that belong into a private journal. Take care and I hope you may find someone who fits.