Ethical Non-Monogamy

Bo Peep​(sub female) • Feb 24, 2021

It sounds like youre both saying the same thing here only WW has labelled it and MF is saying it has no label
Isnt ambiamorous just being open to both sides of the aforementioned mono/enm coin and not hanging your identity solely on one or the other?

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Feb 24, 2021

We may be getting a little hung up on labels here. The intent of this thread was an earnest conversation between those who entertain the choice to have multiple partners and those who do not. The conversation regarding which label is correct is one that will go on forever as everyone applies their own nomenclature, and whole language is important, I think we are getting a bit too specific for the broad scope this thread should maintain.
This tangent may have to do with the fact that, thus far (with few, albeit appreciated, exceptions) the conversation has primarily been between those who are actively practicing or looking for non-monogamy, and those who are accepting of it, even though they are currently choosing monogamy. I have yet to see any input on those vehemently opposed to non-monogamy (though from experience both in bringing this topic to light and from posting in this particular forum, I am not really surprised), so perhaps the discussion is diverting for this reason.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Feb 24, 2021

Finally. Someone else says it.



One thing. It's not about what people "look" for. The heart wants what it wants.

Technically, you can "make" someone love you. But it requires being extreamly understanding and accepting everything.

Some people accept "everything of that person". Me, I accept EVERYTHING.

Some people might call that poly. I call it being understanding.

To be clear, I've talked someone into being here for me lately. They weren't for it at first. Hard and harsh communication leads to talking about happiness. I'm not afraid to hurt people with the truth. Getting an open mind only took three and a half hours. And that's with a closed minded person with many issues.

"How to be happy talks" can come later. But pushing past the closed mind is the trick. I don't talk about "poly". I talk about how to stop that closed mind, period. Consider something else other then your own viewpoint. Consider the possibility. Been through it in the past over and over. Been through it recently. Going to go through it again. Because I don't go "Label here". I go "Understand each other without generalising and hiding behind safe labels".

Seriously, the labels will fuck you up. Can't be friend zoned because I see it for what it is. An excuse to hold back with my happiness. Can't be subbed if it's a broad label. What's "me"? What about "you"?

Don't talk about "label here". Just talk about my/your wants/needs. And happiness.

Also pain and suffering when you have to hurt people. Which you can turn into pleasure when controlled. Reverse that order. Have to hurt people before they're honest and tolerant at times. Best comes from the worst. Then it just gets better and better.

Diseases

TheAnt​(dom male) • Feb 24, 2021

Like any dynamic, I think it is important to test for any sexually transmitted diseases. Anyone new would also be tested. If someone in the dynamic is involved with a non-dynamic person that could complicate things and thus more testing. It does not hurt to very safe.
-DA