Question for Dom(me)s/Masters

Question for Dom(me)s/Masters

Curious Creature​(sub female) • Mar 2, 2021

What is a Dom(me)/Master to do with a sub who has reached great heights, achieved great things?

If you no longer feel you can help your sub grow, does that mean it is time to let them go?

Is this a need that once fulfilled with a sub means it is time to move on?


Thank you to all who answer with honesty.
-CC

Question

SinMaster • Mar 2, 2021

Why would I release the best thing I own?
She knows everything about me. Knows how to use her voice to keep the relationship on the right track.
I don’t know what else to say but hell no I would never release her when I was that lucky.

Curious Creature​(sub female) • Mar 2, 2021

@SinMaster

Do you feel you have a need to teach and nurture?

If so, what if that need is not being satisfied?

Low{BLK OWND} • Mar 2, 2021

I'm sure my man would say
Enjoy the hell out of her

House Talion​(dom male) • Mar 2, 2021

They are the leaders of our community. They know what to do with control. Just cause someone has peaked doesnt mean you let them go, it means you grow together strengthening the relationship. If all you do is teach till they're done learning then your not a Dom/me, just a mentor

Curious Creature​(sub female) • Mar 2, 2021

@House Talion,

That makes a lot of sense. Thank you for sharing your point of view.

Aibo​(switch male) • Mar 2, 2021

Heavens no I would not.
In the case of the two best relationships I had it was the sub who took off - though it was more or less a mutual decision in one of those cases.
Your question is valid though.
Since many who are into SM are kick seekers, the relationship might reach a point where the idea occur that 'we've done everything' - and either partner decide to move on.
I visited an SM event many years ago, and some who attended was very surprised to learn we had been a couple for a decade.
While most there had an average best before date of about 2 years.
I feel sorry for such people......

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Mar 2, 2021

Just as a slave learns, grows and changes...so does the Dominant.
A Dominant doesn't stay as they are, in mind, body or soul.
We are always changing and evolving as we all age (or should be!) by saying a submissive has peaked, you're in essence saying they have a use by date or by reaching that "perfection" that they can some how stop being the very force that drives them and makes them who they are. In effect you'd create stagnation. Stagnation is the equivalent of death within a union (be it romantic or not) vanilla or BDSM with chocolate sprinkles.

Perfection is an unrealistic goal that can never be fully reached as the goal post is always moving. Peaking implies a sub has a use by date to the Dominant and that Dominant is no longer needed. But if the submissive isn't perusing "perfected service" are they still submissive?

Curious Creature​(sub female) • Mar 2, 2021

Thank you for your input Miss Bonnie! Your perspective is truly enlightening.

MrFulmen • Mar 2, 2021

There are a few interesting things here.

1. Like Miss Bonnie said, there is no peak! You can always find new directions to explore and new heights to aspire to.

2. There are a lot of different flavors of dominance. "Teach and nurture" is one of them, and a popular one for sure, but there are lots of dominants who aren't interested in nurture at all, and for whom this question doesn't even make sense. It's like "Once there's no room for more stickers on your laptop, is it time to get a new laptop?" If the reason you have a laptop has little or nothing to do with putting stickers on it, the question seems nonsensical.

3. For some people who dominate, the answer is "yes." There absolutely are folks who are big ol' "fixers," and whose concept of dominance is a bit like taking injured birds and nursing them back to health. And those folks really can run into a problem when they succeed! If the way you think about dominance revolves around being wiser and stronger and more put together than your partner, and them being a little lost and a little broken and needing support, what *does* happen when they grow to be just about as healthy and wise and accomplished as you are--and aren't dependent on you anymore?

Some folks really do move on to find a new partner to fix, because fixing is their thing and because they need to be needed, not just wanted.