Questions. Out of curiosity

Questions. Out of curiosity

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Mar 7, 2021

No answer is wrong of course , just want your opinions and ideas. How many of you consider flirting while in a dynamic or being collared (not Poly) as acceptable vs. not acceptable?
How many of you feel if you reciprocate and flirt when someone flirts with you , that it is showing interest?
How many of you see flirting while in a dynamic as disrespectful?
How many of you see flirting as an intention to pursue?

Thanks ! As I said , no judgement or wrong answers. Just curious how others view this.

Sir Don​(dom male) • Mar 7, 2021

IMHO.
If you are flirting with someone else while in a dynamic that is not poly in nature.
1 it show your are not committed to your D/s
2 your are disrespecting the relationship
3 you have other interests in mind
Of course it something that should be communicated with to each other. There are others who will see it differently. To me exclusivity means just that not anything more or anything less.
What defines flirting? What is flirting in the eyes of one may not be flirting in the eyes of another.

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Mar 7, 2021

Thank you Sir Don. I appreciate your input:)

House Talion​(dom male) • Mar 7, 2021

Theres nothing g wrong with a bit of harmless flirting, but it can easily get out of hand. Must've told my wife 100 times "go sit at the bar and if anyone flirts with you then you might get a free drink out of it."

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Mar 7, 2021

Thank you for your input House Talion

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} • Mar 7, 2021

Where does flirting become friendship?

Aggressive flirting? Never (IMHO) but tjat should make you uncomfortable regardless. But I can't count the times where someone misinterpreted my kindness as flirting, then it just goes and gets awkward.

Jealously also comes into play. I have been with the most extroverted person who would kindly flirt with women endlessly and I never felt my relationship was in jeopardy. I have also been with that person who is "making friends" with the opposite sex that I am being left out of and it is underhanded as fuk. And fuk that person.

You are entitled to feel how someone makes you feel, and they are responsible for understanding. It is not being selfish to want something that seems opposite in different circumstances, above is a perfect example of feeling what someone else is projecting onto you.

Then lastly, I think the third parties intention is a HUGE factor in your decision. Some people get the thrill flirting with someone they know is interested in them. That is wrong for everyone involved. If you can't joke, flirt, being a fool without it leading someone on, because they want more and are only waiting to jump at their opportunity... You should not flirt with them. I have been reprimanded for that mindset, as it is very "It is not my fault they want me" as being along the lines of "She was asking for it" but sorry, that is my opinion, and yes, there are things you can and should do to not surround yourself with those people. I get just as offended when my male partner is surrounding himself with attention seeking women.

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Mar 7, 2021

Thank you OraclePollon. I love your detailed response and the example you gave is great!

MisterWolf​(dom male) • Mar 7, 2021

Hello,

I’m with Sir Dom. If you are in a dynamic then to flirt with someone else is not on....for both parties mind you.

A guide I always thought worked well is would you do that in front of your partner?

It is disrespectful and can lead to difficult situations

If someone flirts with you and you flirt back, it can be seen as you’re leading them on

Flirting doesn’t necessarily mean there is intention to pursue in my mind - But just like eye-rolling, It is disrespectful

(I differentiate being charming (or trying to be charming) to get better service, etc)

Hope that answers your questions

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Mar 7, 2021

MisterWolf,
It most certainly does answer my question. All parties must be considered, the ones in relationship, as well as the 3rd party not in the relationship. Thank you.

Kelpi • Mar 7, 2021

Flirting while in any relationship that is not an open one is not ok. It is asking for trouble and disrespectfu;.