Any words gross you out?

Ingénue{VK} • Oct 1, 2021

You've just designated most littles on this site as being physically weak, intellectually weak and unsophisticated, stupid, lacking in confidence, dependent - or to contextualise further, they compare unfavourably in any of these ways with you.

I'm delighted that your self-confidence is so robust!

Bunnie • Oct 1, 2021

Most of this journey for me has been around addressing triggers I have towards words. It kind of became a curiosity at first, because I came to learn that words are simply words… it was me giving them an emotion. It makes it a bit tricky these days because I’m no longer as triggered by words I forget can be quite triggery in society in general… ones like “weak” or “cunt”… words that are generally used in a derogatory way or as a way of berating or belittling ourselves or others. Depending on how we’ve experienced those words based on intention behind them, seems to determine how we carry them. “Weak” seems to be universally disliked as a word. We don’t much like to admit our failings or shortcomings or areas of where we’re not enough. Even though reality suggests that we aren’t perfect. Even though we even say we aren’t perfect. It’s still triggery. Anyway, I find our attachment to emotions to words, rather fascinating… “nerd” comes to mind lol.

As for sexting, I’m just really bad at things like that. (Probably because a part of my brain is analysing it ). I would like to be able to experience truly letting go into the moment and just enjoying it for what it is… kind of like allowing yourself that moment to believe a movie is real. I think it could be fun.

“Good girl” can be rather triggery for me, depending on who uses it and the connection we have. If someone tries to use it as a form of manipulation because they know it’s a positively emotionally charged word for submissives, that makes me want to vomit.

“Beautiful” is much the same as above.

Steellover​(sub male) • Oct 2, 2021

I said it grosses ME out. I was not the only one who thought so, and no I did not imply anyone was stupid or intellectually weak. I was only trying to explain why I don't like that word in a sexual context. You are reading things into my post that aren't there.

A Cloud​(sub female){Owned} • Oct 2, 2021

Steellover
You stated in your original post that, "Someone looking for a Daddy is none of those things," (in reference to being independent, intelligent and confident). Clearly, you are saying, or rather, implying that littles are unintelligent, dependent and lacking in confidence. This is an inaccurate assumption that demonstrates you do not know many littles; I think you would be surprised at how amazingly independent, intelligent and confident they can be. In fact, the DD/lg dynamic is often about encouraging females to break free of the social conservatism and expectations ingrained in current patriarchal society. This is about breaking free of limitations to be an amazingly independent, confident and sexual being uninhibited by the repression of social conditioning.

Furthermore, the terms Daddy and little girl are not necessarily referencing genetic or familial relationships - it's more about going back and reconditioning to achieve a healthier perspective of themselves and the world around them, to alleviate them from the doubt, guilt and denial that is unconsciously formed throughout their life. I hope this shows a deeper insight into the psychology, from my perspective, of the DD/lg dynamic.

Lastly, yes, it is your opinion but that does not mean others are unable to respond to it in a respectful way if you put it on a public forum. I am happy to discuss further if you so wish .

Morgein • Oct 2, 2021

We're all trying to talk about words (not kinks) that gross us out or are negative for us. Each person is going to have their thing and it's just as ok to have words you don't like as words that you do. Perhaps we can stick to the rather interesting topic and not bring either kink shaming or not-your-kink shaming into the thread.

A Cloud​(sub female){Owned} • Oct 2, 2021

I agree Morgein. I do note that you were speaking from a subjective point of view about your personal response to the word, and I take no issue with your post. However, stereotyped, negative and uninformed generalisations about people who identify with this dynamic were made by Steellover, which qualifies as kink shaming. This is not the first post I have seen where the DD/lg dynamic has been criticised based on subjective and assumed understanding. I take issue with opinion-based rhetoric that labels people's qualities in a negative way based on their personal expression of sexuality.
I feel the need to present other, positive perspectives that may help people see things differently. It is not an attack, but rather, an intellectual discussion prompted by an opinion that conveys judgement of a link preference. Everyone is entitled to opinion, yes. But we must recognise our responsibility in perpetuating damaging or inaccurate ideas. This is part of being a valuable and mature participant in a community.

Ingénue{VK} • Oct 2, 2021

Nicely said, Betty tails. I have no issue with anyone's dislike of a word.


@Steellover 'Daddy' doesn't do it for you? Cool.

But this:


I am generally only attracted to women who are either physically stronger and/or intellectually smarter and more sophisticated, or at least, who are smart, confident, and independent. Someone looking for a "Daddy" in any kind of sexual or romantic hook-up context is none of those things.

Then this:

no I did not imply anyone was stupid or intellectually weak. I was only trying to explain why I don't like that word in a sexual context. You are reading things into my post that aren't there.


Go figure. You don't want to be 'misread' then don't type 'Someone looking for a "Daddy" in any kind of sexual or romantic hook-up context is none of those things'.

Defender​(dom male) • Oct 2, 2021

When I first came on to The Cage, I may well have had some of Steellover's prejudices about DD/lg.

However, after getting to know a "little", all those prejudices have gone.

I have been educated.

Much of BDSM is about educating oneself, rather than condemning others.


In general, I try not to be "grossed out" at other peoples' choices - or the words that they use.

Just as long as they are not directed at me!

Morgein • Oct 2, 2021

"In general, I try not to be "grossed out" at other peoples' choices - or the words that they use."
~Defender

I'm interested in this statement as we're relating to and discussing these words, particularly because, in the way he's stated here, the reaction seems to be controlled, one made through choice. I find, for myself, that my reaction is quite visceral, absolutely immediate. TBH, I wouldn't say that "grossed out", as stated in the thread title, is quite accurate, but I'm not sure how else I would describe it. Anyway, I'm curious whether the other post responders find that their feelings about or reaction to the words they've shared are controlled/controllable or more of a gut, emotional reflex?

to shame or not to shame

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Oct 2, 2021

how about, let’s not.

publicly sharing your personal reaction to someone else’s kink, visceral or otherwise and using expressions like “grossed out” is kink shaming 101. let us acknowledge where we err, be respectful, and move forward with less of that?