Never masturbates !?!

swleopard{Training} • Apr 14, 2021

Trust Miki to give her hilarious, unfiltered take on things. I knew she'd be the first to comment.

Love you, Miki, you are extraordinary

Miki • Apr 14, 2021

First...

@swleopard:
Aww thanks. I have my moments.

Meanwhile I bet you just wanted to know about him strangling the spitting cobra.

@sirsbabydoll... Well, that day proved I'm not always the brightest bulb on the fucking tree... Wearing a small vibrator, even set on low, to work is definitely not a great idea. It was supposed to just keep me smiling all the day long, but something about the tone of voice, or I should say drone of voice of Boss Man set my mind adrift and, well, of course I latched onto something a whole lot less dull like my evening plans... The rest was, let's say, quite difficult to explain away as just a yawn... especially when yawning while the big cheese was flapping his lips is, in and of itself, not the best route to a raise.

No not fired, but a few side-eyes told me not all the dudes in the room bought that yarn.

Needless to say I had to excuse myself quickly to "go to the powder room". (and get that thing off of me)

Never again.

(I think)

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Apr 14, 2021

With the exception of odd stretches of overbearing focus, and the week following my getting snipped and cauterized, I generally have been a two- to four-shots-a-day guy, and while I usually prefer that my now-defunct blasts are put to good use, my recent excess of travel and limited social interaction has necessitated a return almost to teenage levels of self care.

Interesting that you bring up vibrators at work, Miki. One always been a big fan of my long range, remote toys.

Aria Quinn​(sub female){collared} • Apr 14, 2021

My husband doesn’t masturbate, he finds it incredibly unfulfilling and quite frustrating as it takes so much more time and effort to get off then just having sex. My sex drive is slightly higher then his so I’m more then willing to play the part of a living sex toy to be used when he wants a quick release.

swleopard{Training} • Apr 14, 2021

MrAshmodi, thank you for answering the question in detail. As we are all unique, I learn more from reading a real person's story than from statistics in an article.

Full disclosure, I haven't masturbated in over a week because of sadness over the ending of my first D/s relationship. Feelin kinda horny now though

NCarraway​(dom male) • Apr 14, 2021

Full marks to you all for creative sexual innuendo references .

Actually miss leopard I don't think this lack of masturbation is as far fetched as you might think. I think the answer to your question depends very much on the definition of "doesn't" or "never".

I would describe myself as having a medium to high sex drive and I do not, in general, masturbate. For example, perhaps two times in the last two months. I think, having reflected on this, I can point to some reasons for this.

1. My age. Certainly I noticed, before my world exploded into kink technicolour, that my sex drive/urge to come was decreasing over time. This is also wrapped up in my relationship and life status over that period so it is difficult to disentangle the factors. BUT, I do assume that there is an age factor at play that you could see if all other factors remain constant. I think its a minor effect, at least for me.

2. A very active sex life. For the last three years I have worked hard to design the kind of life that I want, and that includes my physical needs. I would say that my orgasm needs are now easily catered for without masturbation, and I just prefer that.

3. This is the most interesting factor for me. I have been exploring, sometimes with partners, sometimes without, how it feels to sit on the edge of maximum arousal and incorporate it into my life. I find for me it gives me an awesome feeling of colour and drive that has some semblance to the feeling you get from walking away from a seriously hot night. I like that feeling and there is an element of calm and peace in using that physical need to supercharge my own mindset. In essence this is a reframe for me: I go from, fuck I'm so horny and frustrated... I wish I could knock one out, to, fuck I'm so horny ... my life is incredible and I love this feeling, I will embrace it. In many ways I have decoupled my own Domliness and masculinity from the need to orgasm. These days my Domliness is much more associated with my control and command. The orgasms are just the cherry on top of the pie these days. Very nice cherry, but only a small part of what I get out of this.

I also know that, for me, my Domness takes a dip after release and that is something I want to control to best effect (can anyone spell control freak?).

Last bit to say on this... I have explored this with some partners where I keep them at maximum states of arousal without release. Before you women start throwing things at me, this often means a great deal of sex/masturbation and ramping up arousal in between. This mind set often brings with it feelings of bliss and submission and a great deal of 'fuck, life is awesome, i have incredible motivation'. I have only done this with partners i know well and so can gauge the effect and be sure it is beneficial.

...

Do I go through dry spells or periods where I just need physical release through masturbation, sure but that is not a major part of my life and I am quite comfortable with that.

One final point.

I have also, in my life as a munch organiser come across many weird and wonderful types of man, asexual, and other, who get their kicks in other ways. For me it is not a stretch to imagine that there is a sizable minority of men who do not masturbate regularly. I think the thing to remember is that we are not all the same and needing to orgasm is one metric only!

Appreciate the discussion it was interesting to reflect on this.

swleopard{Training} • Apr 14, 2021

Aria Quinn, thank you for sharing your personal story. Showing more uniqueness and adding to our education and understanding of each other.

Thank you to everyone who has joined in to answer the question. This is part of what makes the Cage a great place.

swleopard{Training} • Apr 14, 2021

Mr. NCarraway, my deep thanks for your fascinating and most educational comments. You have taken this discussion to a new level of thinking and learning. Much appreciated.

Although I may not get much sleep tonight chewing on the idea of turning "fuck I'm so horny" into " fuck, I'm so horny, life is awesome, I have incredible motivation".

Fuck Tony What's-his-name motivational speaker. NCarraway, sign me up for your class!!!

acquiesced​(sub male) • Apr 14, 2021

NCaraway, regarding #3, do some research on the effects of Prolactin on males after ejaculation. A prolactin release destroys the Dopamine (the happy chemicals that you experience) and begins the refractory period (time to get aroused and hard again). Interesting stuff. Quite powerful if you ask me (Doms/Dommes take note). You may think it's BS until you start to correlate it with your own experiences. This could be a whole 'nuther topic for discussion.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Apr 14, 2021

I briefly dated a descendant of Ellen G. White. The sexual oppression was shocking to me. He felt deep shame if he masturbated. He had also never had a blow job....had been married for 19 years with 2 kids. Religious oppression is a possible reason.

On a different note, it might not be physically possible due to injury or advanced arthritis.