1 month ago • 04/28/2021 3:07 pm
SubtleHush(sub female) • 04/28/2021 3:07 pm
Communicating your likes and needs as a submissive
----------Your English is fine.
"So what I wonder is, do you as a sub communicate your likes, wants, needs to your dominant partner?"
---------Absolutely. We're all different. At different levels of this and possess different amounts of knowledge as well."
"I find it unusual perhaps that as a submissive you would communicate your likes to a dominant partner. To me that seems contradictory with "to submit". If I translate it to my own language and look for the meaning of "to submit" it means you do what someone else wants you to do."
---------So let's look at it differently. You need to buy a dress and walk into a store and the sales clerk asks what do you need? You say "a dress."
There are many dresses and sizes but they won't all fit you. Or won't be right for what you need.
You need to give the clerk more info. If you want a dress you can wear a lot that fits you well, you need to do more work than that.
Now that clerk might want to talk you into a very expensive dress that isn't really what you're looking for because she gets a commission. And she would succeed if you didn't do any thinking about what YOU needed or why YOU needed it right?
Then you would be unhappy. The dress would feel strange on you and in the end, you'd go try and find another dress.
---------Submission, surrender, or even the slave heart, those things take time. You may be naturally one of those things but you evolve into that state with your partner. So before all that you need to get to know each other. You need to get to find out what you are each shopping for.
Because you both want something, someone, who fits right. At hello. During introductions, you talk about your desires and needs because we can't all be a match and some people will have very different views on Ds or Ms. So for both to be happy requires upfront work first.
Some will try to rush you into agreeing to things but our moniker. SSC means Safe, Sane, and INFORMED consent. Thus you must be understanding of what you are agreeing to.
And as I like to harp... you must learn things on your own since some people in this realm are indeed dangerous and you might not know that if they are telling you how they see things even when they might be wrong.
I also harp on having "deal-breakers and must-haves." But I'll get that posted in my blog if it isn't already there.