2 weeks ago • 04/26/2021 7:35 pm
SubtleHush(sub female) • 04/26/2021 7:35 pm
"There are a few unspoken BDSM core principles that I've believed in since I was very young, this is one of them: BDSM is not a 50/50 dynamic. Relationship equality is what vanilla people strive for."
Beg to differ. BDSM and power exchange dynamics are totally 50/50.
BOTH must fulfill their part 110%.
Both must trust. Both must invest.
Both must devote themselves to the other.
BOTH must come to the dynamic motivated.
Both must be willing to work and grow and evolve else the dynamic fails.
How we mold that may not look like 50/50, but make no mistake, merging two or more people into a demanding dynamic such as ours requires nothing less than 50/50 effort at the least. At the most, it's 100/100.
These are the types of assumptions that inspire selfishness.
"He'll take care of me and I won't have to be an adult" &
"She'll have no choice but to put up with my BS because I am the commander of all! I do no wrong and I do not answer for my actions."
So you can go find your 10% because many out there are depending on that. But it isn't realistic. It never was and the odds of you lasting in that type of divide are worse than 50/50.
And btw, calling something vanilla isn't a curse. We are all vanilla in some aspects of our lives because that is being an adult.
I'm not ashamed of being a responsible vanilla adult. Nor should anyone else be.