OraclePollon(sub female){NotYours}
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2 years ago •
May 5, 2021
BikerDan wrote: Some subs I have found, get their kicks by handing full control over without restriction.
I understand that people do need a safe word when taking things further than 'normal', but there are some out there that have a deep urge to be taken to that place WAY past the 'normal' line, and they find it so difficult to find a genuine top who would do that.. As long as you understand... I would substitute this mentality: I have a safeword, so when I am being choked, whipped or raped I can scream bloody murder, NO, STOP, or my favorite "My Farher will hear about this" (Bahaha) without it ending the scene. That is comfort, trust and security. It is so the Top can get into the scene just as much. If you have a submissive who yells the safe word... then you shouldn't be playing with them, or you are pushing their limits. You decide what that means. But I also need a safe word, because I don't want my Sir stopping a scene because he is concerned either. This is my play time too. Why would I use a safe word if I want my limits pushed? To use it unecessarily during a scene is manipulation, or topping from bottom. It only takes once to go too far. It is called safe, sane and consensual. Are you really even immersed in it if you can't go as far as you like because you know there is a code word to snap you out of your headspace? Some people never lose that much control, but I personally love my mind that far gone. |
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Online now
scoot(masochist male)
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2 years ago •
May 5, 2021
i prefer not to use a safe-word.
As I am there for the "punishment" and "Atonement" from being physically punished and controlled, I decided that, similar to a kid being punished, or in the old days of public corporal punishment, that I would have no control over the actions. Could you imagine being punished as kid and saying BURNT TOAST because the spanking hurt? It's that lack of control and self-determination that keeps me going back. My main instruction is that there be no visible marks on my face, even when slapping is allowed, and that all welts, bruises, etc. be covered by my clothes afterward. That's the way it was as a kid, we were always warned that "there will be marks when I am done. But no one will see them because you're clothes will hide them. But you will know they are there. And why". So, that's my preference. |
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| sissyboidoinny |
2 years ago •
May 5, 2021
Even when I am given a safe word I never use it. Sometimes the pain is excruciating and I cry and yell but still won't
use it I am a true masochist. Always testing my pain limits. That it what excites me so much! |
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OraclePollon(sub female){NotYours}
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2 years ago •
May 5, 2021
scoot wrote: i prefer not to use a safe-word.
As I am there for the "punishment" and "Atonement" from being physically punished and controlled, I decided that, similar to a kid being punished, or in the old days of public corporal punishment, that I would have no control over the actions. Could you imagine being punished as kid and saying BURNT TOAST because the spanking hurt? It's that lack of control and self-determination that keeps me going back. My main instruction is that there be no visible marks on my face, even when slapping is allowed, and that all welts, bruises, etc. be covered by my clothes afterward. That's the way it was as a kid, we were always warned that "there will be marks when I am done. But no one will see them because you're clothes will hide them. But you will know they are there. And why". So, that's my preference. I get that, I do. But you are no longer a child, and these aren't parents, they are people who could hurt you. Even still, just like your parents, if they killed you, they would be in jail. So now they have to take caution not to kill you. Outside of that... when you were a child, you did not consent. So if they were beating you to the extent you seem to say they did, that is abuse. I am not against physical discipline for children, but the fact that you are now sexualizing your childhood is not what BDSM is about. I make no accusations or assumptions and give you the benefit that is not what you are doing. Just know it is dangerous. I do know there are many people who do not use a safe word. I am not against that, they have built a repertoire. I just worry (unwanted, I know.) That you are doing something for misguided reasons, but also, you are letting others know it is okay, including your partners. I would just encourage you to try and be open about that. This thread is getting scary with people who would rather put their safety at risk, or have no regard for their own consent. It's yours, you get to have it. But also, no safe word, means you are not taking your responsibility if you do get hurt. You are putting the blame solely on the other person. |
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Miki
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2 years ago •
May 5, 2021
Safe word means safety and whether one uses it or not is entirely up to them and how intense a session is at a given time.
At least it is there and, hopfully you know the top well enough that you can be reasonably sure they will honor it. dominants and sadists are human and even if they don't mean to, they could get carried away-- caught up in the moment- and general limits like "no cutting" "no deep bruising" "no broken bones" could slip their minds. A safe word that means "Stop!" can be the difference between a good session and one you'll regret. |
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Master Havok(dom male)
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2 years ago •
May 5, 2021
Though I believe they are prudent and should be used for most situations, after years of service, they become obsolete after a fashion. I suppose in a group setting I might instruct my girl to use a safe word if needed, or if someone new was involved.
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BikerDan(other male)
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2 years ago •
May 6, 2021
Over 30 years ago, I submitted to a rough skinhead top who wanted to 'use' me.
Before I even thought about discussing a safe word, I was bound and gagged and he proceeded to do his thing. If I had the opportunity to stop him right then, I probably would have due to the pain at the start, but I am so glad I couldn't as it turned into the most AMAZING brutal fuck and went on for hours as he kept using me. He revealed a whole new world of rough sex in full gear and I have never looked back since. Luckily he was genuine and only wanted sex, but it could have been very dangerous as I knew nothing about him. Some people need total loss of control and to let it just happen I have met a few like that and I am now searching for one I can own under a TPE arrangement. |
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gabriel kerry(dom male)
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2 years ago •
May 7, 2021
Someone told me of this topic. I didn't realize that we evolved so much that telepathy was the new thing. Huh who would have thunked it
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DrWakko
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2 years ago •
May 7, 2021
I think from reading this thread there are two parts here. Part 1 is using a safe word and Part 2 is having a safe word.
I am willing to be no one wants to use a safe word. It doesn't matter what side of the slash you are on using or hearing that safe word means something has gone way sideways and things need to stop. Having a safe word gives you and your partner a little comfort if things go bad. I know people who have safe words for normal scenes, I know people who have a different safe word for CNC scenes. I even know people that have relationship safe words. For those that don't want to use safe words, just keep checking in on your bottom and the bottom check in on the top. Make sure both are ok. |
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| sissyboidoinny |
2 years ago •
May 7, 2021
safe words
I never use them. I always want to test my limits. I am a true sub bottom masochist.
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