Have you found a measure of freedom?

SageFlame​(sub female) • Jun 5, 2021

@ Loyalwolf
You said "The truth eventually comes out. They can't keep people oppressed the way they did in the dark ages."

. . . And then there is the prison we create in our own mind that keeps us from true freedom. Wasn't the oppression in the past the same as today? Mind manipulation?

. . .and are control and freedom illusions that we believe which change our behavior?

Re: Have you found a measure of freedom?

girlyGoddess​(switch female) • Jun 5, 2021

Oh this brings to mind so many things. The first thing that come to mind is my submission. In falling into my role as a slave, dedicating myself and my everything to my Master, that is my freedom. I grew up in family where the females are taught to rely on no one, submit to no one, lest they be left broken-hearted and forgotten. So in all my 20 years I was afraid to truly let go. My Master calls it “cold switching” when naturally I’m meek, docile, and love being on my knees. However in my everyday life you’d think I was a an Aloha Female. I’m assertive, raucous in the volume of my voice, and don’t take shit or excuses from anyone. In the small moments I’d taste freedom, like during a quick session or if unowned creating that mindset. But until meeting him I did not discover true freedom. With Him I don’t have to act tough or cool. I can be my meek ok self and encourages me to be. He’s always reminding me not to compare myself to others and what not and neither does he. He’s seen me in all my glory and cruelty. When I’m having a bipolar or depressive episode He is there to give advice and console me. Even after telling Him about my D.I.D he still showed me the path of true submission. It’s maxing and light and I feel like I’m floating, even without being in sub space. With Him I am free because I am me. With others I feel shackled. They know nothing about bdsm and the lifestyle I lead with my Master, if they ask why I need permission for things I say a lie and it drains me to my core. However I also taste freedom with kink friendly friends of mine. For instance, it was because my best friend of 14 years that I realized I wanted a BDSM dynamic and not just in the bedroom. So I guess you can say with her I feel a whole other sense of freedom.

Bluebutterfly​(sub female){Havelock } • Jun 6, 2021

My freedom has come from finally being able to actually be myself. To finally laugh properly and say what’s on my mind and not worry so much about what people think.
This lifestyle made that possible. Acknowledging the submissive masochist in me, in my 40s and having an understanding husband who could see that I needed to spread my wings and fly. Both of us; together, finding a Dom who I could finally experiment with. It was like unlocking a caged up animal. To be able to breath fully, think and express myself freely and finally stop worrying about what others think of me. That’s freedom for me.

LoyalWolf​(sub male) • Jun 7, 2021

I agree jt is mind manipulation, because at the end of of day they are trying to control an entire population.

I would argue that it is a lot more difficult to keep people ignorant today. In the past many were illiterate and today almost everyone has access to nearly the sum total of human knowledge.

I realize we are discussing something that is hard to quantify. Without solid proof and numbers it is difficult to claim that we are more free today than 20 years ago (for example), but it is my opinion that we are.

I wouldn't call control and freedom illusions. If they change our behavior, and I think they do, then aren't they real? Just because something is not tangible doesn't make it any less real.

eager qt • Jun 8, 2021

The ambiguity here makes me feel like I won't answer the question satisfactorily but *shrug*

Obviously the nature of this site gives some context, so I guess I'll read it as "Have you found a measure of freedom through BDSM?" (prepositions could vary but I'll go with that one).

I think I have. I am a shy person. I have deep desires. I crave intimacy. Being with my partner and being able to exercise that level of trust is freeing to me. Being TASKED WITH exploring things I've long desired is freeing for me as someone who is, while very sex positive, shy. With anxiety also comes a level of being in my head, but with my partner I can't be most of the time that we're together based on how engaging our dynamic is for me mentally. There isn't the usual space for overthinking. It's so nice to be focused on my (deserving, loving, trustworthy) partner instead of on myself. I don't have to think about myself because I know he'll take care of me, and he goes above and beyond to do so. I'm able to focus on serving him and that feels like freedom from my mind.

AngelAtHisMercy​(sub female) • Jun 8, 2021

My measure of freedom came the moment i posted my first ad on the corkboard at our local adult bookstore. This was almost 25 years ago. I jumped in with both feet and never looked back. Yes, i was discreet because I had children but i did not hide it from my friends or my family. They dealt with it in time. My children grew up to follow in my footsteps and seek their own measures of freedom. My eldest was a switch, my middle man is a DD, and my youngest is bi.

The freedom was not physical in nature, it was emotional and emotional freedom leads to emotional security, with emotional security, comes peace.

NuaRéalta{Caillte} • Jun 12, 2021

I was told once....

“ 'Freedom to' may drive us, but 'freedom from' makes it worth being driven. "

With that being said, Yes, I have found a small measure of freedom in the movement of life, and the essence of progress.

The freedom to Surrender, to be fully present, with what I am. Passionate and alive.

The Freedom from Judgment, to embrace the fearless fire within me. Authentic and Broken.

DomHyperion​(dom male) • Jun 12, 2021

Freedom? I have lost what little freedom I had. I find myself bound to someone who doesn't reciprocate the feelings. Should I wait to break these shackles that binds me? Can I break these binds and find my freedom? I can, with a single thought. But will it be freedom that I find or normalcy and despair?

SageFlame​(sub female) • Jun 12, 2021

@ DomHyperion

"Freedom? I have lost what little freedom I had. I find myself bound to someone who doesn't reciprocate the feelings. Should I wait to break these shackles that binds me? Can I break these binds and find my freedom? I can, with a single thought. But will it be freedom that I find or normalcy and despair?"

I think we have all been in your shoes. I know I have at least.

Our disappointments are all too often due to expectations not met. I have a bunch of questions that some may find offensive but there is a chance they could be helpful. I'll take a chance. Please know my intentions are to help somehow. What you speak of can feel like a catch 22.

Here I go. . .

1. Were you honest with yourself as to what you wanted before meeting someone?
2. Could you have settled for less than what felt authentic?
3. Could your disappointment be rooted in a pain that was there long before you met this person?
4. If you let go and fell into despair would it be permanent?
5. Are all the cards on the table from both parties?
6. Could there be other factors contributing to what sounds like a loss of hope?
7. Is freedom found and lost by our connections with others?
8. Is it truly freedom you seek?
9. What does freedom mean to you and how will you know when you've found it?

I am not being concise as your questions lead to more questions. I think this is good. Searching ourselves is a productive thing.

And I'm sorry to hear your not satisfied. We all grow through our struggles and I hope you look for the gift in all of this.

DomHyperion​(dom male) • Jun 12, 2021

@SageFlame
Here are the answers
That you seek

A catch-22
Now that is a dilemma
Without an easy escape

But I will try,
And answer you
As honest as I can.

For you my dear
Who knows my pain
I will answer my crimes of love
Through a poem.
If that is alright.


1)love is blind and I lied
To myself,for a chance
At freedom and love.

2)I could've and surely I can
Settle for less,
But then will it
Be love?

3)Time and time again
I have been heartbroken
So there is a chance
That my disappointment
Is perpetual

4)nothing is permanent
Change is inevitable
Even my despair
Will succumb to time.

5) the cards were on the table
Until the lady decided
To leave the game.
Ghosted.Betrayed.

6)my hope is not lost
I am after all, a hopeless romantic

7) Is that a question
To me or in general?
I can answer the first
But not the latter
Freedom for me,
or atleast in this case ,
was another chance
At love. A chance to
Bare myself open to
A judgement without trial
And freedom to love
And to be loved
Is not found in every connection.

8)Yes and no.
I have freedom
To love. No need to seek
What I have in my heart
Yet I'm not privy
To the freedom to be loved.
And that is something
I am seeking.

9)Freedom for me,
or atleast in this case ,
was another chance
At love. A chance to
Bare myself open to
A judgement without trial
And freedom to love
And to be loved
How will I know?
For the warmth of her heart
Not her body, will make me
Go back to her.


Was this productive?yes
Do I see the gift?yes
Was this offensive?nay
Was this helpful?yes
Liberating, invigorating and
Another chance at sharpening
My new-found skills

I see your intentions
I see that it is true
And well meant

I hope you are content
You should know, I am
Now you must excuse me
While I try to escape
This dilemma of catch 22