Thoughts on Fetlife

Thoughts on Fetlife

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Jun 22, 2021

So I joined Fetlife and compared to the Cage I hate it.

I wasn't sure if anyone else on here has a profile, but to me I feel like fetlife is the pornographic version of tinder. I've encountered several "doms" who claim to be into bdsm, but say that I must fork over trust and my rights.

Am I seeing the wrong side of it or am I spot on?

Mrstrangefate​(dom male) • Jun 22, 2021

your spot on, me and my partners tried to express ourselves on their and all I got was people who thought they could just seduce my subs away or a few subs who didn't accept that and tried to seduce me away in a monogamous relationship. Its not a fun show over their.

DrWakko • Jun 22, 2021

Fetlife is great for events and engaging with other kinksters in real life situations. This site is best for finding people who enjoy one handed typing.

Sir'smisty​(sub female) • Jun 22, 2021

I started out years ago on the BDSM Library Forums and was spoilt with a forum community and then went to Fetlife. It has always been the poor cousin for me.
I've been a member on Fetlife for a decade now. I can't say I love it at all.

I make it interesting for myself by following people who interest me either for their photos, their kinks or their opinions.

I met my Sir there, so it's not all bad

I am involved in my local scene, so for events it's great, but I hate their groups. For conversation, to ask or answer questions and to connect to people, i come here.

In short, I don't expect the same things from Fet as what I expect from The Cage.

It's all about managing expectations imo.

Dominus eius​(dom male){LittleLott} • Jun 22, 2021

I’d echo much of what’s above. Two different things for two different purposes.

I’ve only recently engaged with Fetlife - as I found, on initially registering, it seemed hard work and just about porn in essence.

However, now that things are beginning to relax in the UK, I have tried again and started to engage with local people - as a route to the local community.

A piece of advice I was given was to think of fetlife as a kinky Facebook - to friend people you have actually interacted with (met??) and use it in that way.

Anakha​(switch male){Ingénue} • Jun 22, 2021

Two hands, thank you. How rude.

badmonkey​(sub male) • Jun 22, 2021

I joined it ages ago, not a fan. Full of findommes and gatekeepers.

Much prefer it here, everyone is just much more approachable and open and the mods/admin take care to make sure standards apply.

Masque​(dom male) • Jun 22, 2021

I've met only one person on Fet I'd actually like to meet in person, that's really the only positive I can say for the site.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Jun 22, 2021

I opened a Fetlife account years ago ; didn't stay long mainly because of the intrusive ads. Secondly, judgemental comments littered the site. ( I'll leave this site if ads start popping up too.) I tried another site that was not an improvement. I gave up!

It was my conclusion that websites for this topic all had the same flavor. I was proven wrong! I found a link to this site on a submissive's blog.

I'm more than satisfied here. It's the people, the community that make the difference for me. I appreciate the attentiveness of moderator and tech support.

If ads start popping up here though, I will miss everyone.

knicks33 • Jun 22, 2021

Free vs Free. . . there is no comparison. . The Cage is much more restrictive in who is allowed to speak to who. . . There is no restriction on Fet. . if you see a profile that you feel the person has interests that blend with yours.. . you can send them a message. . .

I've been on Fet for years and like here you find folk that go "poof" . . . don't respond. . etc. . etc. . . but as here and as there you find sincere and very nice people. . .you just have to persistently look.