Calling all masochists…

Calling all masochists…

Bunnie • Aug 6, 2021

What makes you identify as a masochist?
What are your defining factors?
What struggles did you have when first considering if you were potentially masochistic or not?
How do you explain your masochism/masochistic tendencies to others?

I’m unable to determine if I consider myself to be a “general” masochist or not (I say “general” because I have already identified my emotional masochism aspects), and I’m not sure why. So I figured I’d try to gain some insight from others. Thank you in advance

levysin​(masochist female){Mystic} • Aug 6, 2021

Hmm pain itself doesn't turn me on. But letting someone place pain on me is how I identify as a masochist, mainly because I feel like theres a special connection when someone can hurt you in all the right ways. Makes me feel like they know me.

I didn't really struggle I just like instantly new, but it definitely had to be explained to me by friends first.

To my friends, I have no filter. never have never will. I tell them I'm a masochist and that i like pain, but if they mentally push me too far that isn't honoring my maso side, thats harming it.

You've got just set what you like about being a masochist

twiggytaylorslave​(masochist female) • Aug 6, 2021

i get pleasure and release when i get hit of a cane more pain i get the wetter i get this is how i know im a machocist

Miki • Aug 6, 2021

To try and reply to the first post. "Try" because I'm not one to talk a whole lot about things in general, let alone what I like to do to get off. Brevity is best.

I'm a sexual masochist only. Pain and a degree of humiliation serves to amplify erotic pleasure

In other facets of my life I do not enjoy pain or abuse.

I don't make it known to others, let alone explain it because in day-to-day life I'm actually "vanilla". Stuffy and difficult to approach, even.

cynthiajoy • Aug 6, 2021

Guess generally I guess I am a masochist because it is part of the power exchange between myself and owner/dominant partner. As a human being I don't seek pain, but will suffer it because it gives pleasure to the other person. So it really isn't about the physical pain as the mental pain. Meaning that I get into the proper mental state of feeling less than the other person or even a bit of humiliation because I really am a strong person. I just crave to be under their care.

The defining factors are that it needs to be another women, one that has the energy that I can feel that she is more powerful than I am.

Internally I have no struggles as I do consider myself a service slave. The only struggles come are those that interfere with those outside the bdsm community.

In this lifestyle there are folks on both sides of the D/s life. They understand and need the other side to complete themselves like I do. It is like one hand washes the other and both become clean. But if asked point blank why I am what I am I have to just say I am proud of who I am.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Aug 8, 2021

Making the best from the worst.

When you can smile even as you're in pain, you know you're in control of that.

When you keep moving forward, making the best happen no matter what is tossed at you, you know you overcome that.

And if you look past a monster and don't hold a grudge... Well, tends to end up with affection and fucking. Regardless of wherever any pain beforehand was playful or serious. Provided it's about the understanding.

And as I look around in a world full of pain. A world full of mistrust, fear and assumptions. I can tell myself that where others are ignorant cowards, I can face what hurts. Pain is like the truth. It can hurt. But it can also set you free. Provided it's combined with incentive. Otherwise it just hurts.

Pain has to have reason and purpose. Thing is, it often lacks that. People just THINK they know what hurts. But in reality that's often assumptions. The lies people tell themselves. And once exposed, that's when the healing begins. Even if that involves more pain.

As for struggles, isolated myself. Went insane from the BS I told myself (which is why I loath some people on this site). Simply put there's a difference between pain and despair. Pain can have a purpose. But despair? It's born from ignorance and lies. The inability to accept. This brings us to awareness. Which brings stablity and honesty. even a prisoner on death row will be calmer if you make them aware of the situation they're in.

Leave people to lie to themselves and they become weak pathetic cowards. And no one actually wants to be that person. For some people pain is the only way. Because they avoid it the most. When it's more understood instead of feared it becomes more appealing. Provided you it balances out with something else. That can either be "We're fucking. Get over here as I drag you" or "To make a point and because you're lying and need a wake up call."

And if used with grudges and malice... The question is "why". No matter how much you hurt each other just some simple considiration can turn everything around. A pity then that too many do not even want to consider anything other then their own fragile worlds they made for themselves.

Hopeful Masochist • Aug 8, 2021

I enjoy being a masochist for two reasons:

1) I love giving the sadist the pleasure to hear my screams
2) The adrenalin rush afterwards is unbelievable

Bunnie • Aug 8, 2021

@ Taramafor,

“Pain is like the truth. It can hurt. But it can also set you free.”

Love this. I very much agree.


Thank you each for your responses. It has given me the gift of bringing a lot of clarity to something I couldn’t quite grasp, and perhaps a little bit of acceptance towards this aspect of myself.

EagerToPleaseYou​(sub female){Not Lookin} • Aug 12, 2021

I never realized I was a masochist until my first spanking. The pain feels like a release and I find myself craving it. When my mind is busy, a spanking will calm me down and is a reset for me. I also love knowing that I'm pleasing Him.

JustGreenie{Lona Alofa} • Aug 14, 2021

I identify as a masochist because I have a need to have that pain to pair with my pleasure. It intensifies the interaction between me and the person inflicting (sadist) the act. My experience with masochism is purely physical, I really haven’t thought about the emotional part, but that gives me one more thing to look into and explore.

I am a sucker for a good flogger, paddle, don’t forget riding crops and you can never go wrong with an old fashion open hand smack to the buttocks, vagina, breast and thighs. Nipple/clit clamps, clothes pins (Wood, metal and plastic) are fun also. I have just started with electro play so I really have t defined my limits to pain when it comes to that. I am still discovering more about all of this but what’s I do know is that I absolutely need some level of pain to intensify and achieve pleasure.

I found myself struggling with my own reasoning of why I needed, no craved this pain. Why I was wanting to put myself through the acts to achieve the intensified pleasures that followed. Was there something wrong with me? No it is just a personal gratification I enjoyed immensely and have continue to enjoy with no struggle or embarrassment.

I am very open with all partners, vanilla and kink. I am a very blunt and up front person so sometimes, we’ll mostly with the vanilla partners, they are a little uneasy and more likely will not participate. Which for me is a low but again I have not dated anyone who isn’t into the lifestyle since. Now when it comes to my partners within the lifestyle, I have a thing for sadist or those with sadistic tendencies. So I really don’t have any issues with opening up and discussing/negotiating terms before play.