Questioned role

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Sep 11, 2021

@ House Talon.

my initial, visceral response to what those people said to you is "fuck that." lol, sorry. Hopefully, i would keep that to myself in actuality and respond as you did when confronted similarly.

Having said that, i respect your response of self examination. To me, your response is simple proof of your credentials. You have/had the security and presence of self to be able to examine and question your self, which to me is a quality and factor of both maturity and genuineness.

As i see it, a similarly mature and respectable person who may have been questioning who and how you are would have had similar humility. They would have qualified their query with room for being wrong in their own perception. To me, anyone who cannot question their self is setting their self up for delusion. i see the person who come off with such an absolute assertion is both immature and obnoxious (even if inadvertently). They do not know how to engage another, but rather seek to affirm their own perception of their self as an 'authority.'

To me, a person is not ready for mature relationship until they know their self. But i do not think it is likely possible to know oneself living in isolation. I.e., it is so very possible to have a wrong perception about our self. You demonstrated maturity by taking what another said and considering it. i think we see ourselves in self reflection, and also in the reflection of/with others. i think as human, all of our mirrors have flaws, so self reflection alone will leave us with just our own ideas of who and how we are, and our ideas will include those 'flaws.' Others who reflect us also have flaws, so the reflections they give of us may also contain those flaw along with the accurate reflection.

Since we all 'see through a glass darkly,' the people i take seriously are the ones who understand this and we also have a mutual understanding and dedication to the principles of love and grace. We all wanna see what is real, but we also can smile and not each other, realizing our flaws. A graceful and mature person, i.e., those worth engaging with, would have approached you in a manner that was also engaging. To your credit, you seem to realize that even a jack ass is capable of insight on occasion, so you considered what they said. But it is equally wise, me thinks, to consider the source.

Kitzer​(sub female) • Sep 11, 2021

Some people are just more obsessed with perceived accuracy than they are with genuinity.

That doesn't make them bad people. (This girl who's questioning you on it isn't wrong for doing it) it just shows that she's caught up in her own views (which are probably not even her's but a collection of what she's been taught) so she can't see it any other way.

Basically she's probably been groomed to think this way about what a master truly is. And it might even threaten her equilibrium to consider it another way. (She's obsessed with things being right rather than real because she's probably herself afraid to be labeled fake. Which is why she probably turned it on you.)

Personally I think even a submissive type of person can be someone's master if they wanted to because you know who determines that? The submissive of the master. Because they're the ones that proclaim it as such (of course with a willing Master).

I think people just way over complicate this stuff.

A Cloud​(sub female){Owned} • Sep 12, 2021

[quote="SubtleHush"]
- 'I have a magic 3 rule. If 3 or more unrelated people or sources give feedback or mention something, I take a closer look at it. Doesn't mean I will do what they think I should do, just that maybe the universe is telling me something. It pans out more often than not. This is a personal thing. I don't tell them I'm looking into the thing and I don't report to anyone what I decide. I just use that impetus to take a deeper look.'

Nice strategy to use for a journey of growth and discovery. Respect. I too like to make sure I am hearing what the universe is saying to me. Coincidences and repetition are key in pointing out hurdles and areas that require attention. Honesty to one's self is fundamental if barriers are to be overcome.

Perhaps sometimes the arguing over semantics is a distraction from the real, personal work that is too challenging at times?! I actually found myself getting caught up in that kind of energy and had to pull myself up and realign to what my true intentions are. I ask myself, "Is this helping (myself or others) or is it just adding fuel to a fire that doesn't concern me?", "What kind of energy am I bringing to the party?" and, "What are my priorities? Are they being addressed?"

Sasa​(dom female) • Sep 12, 2021

Since when is the opinion of others, probably inexperienced persons, important? Please don't care.

I am nurturing, that doesn't mean I can't be very strict, but I'll never be one of the cold-hearted bitches some men dream about and I don’t want a submissive who needs that. Hell, since when do we have to "perform" for someone's affection or submission?

Of course, I hear and heard that I am not domme enough for some. That's fine. The "fake" of one person is heaven for the next. We are what we are and we don't have to be inauthentic to fit into the BDSM box of others.