Can we stop equating Brats to

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Oct 4, 2021

I don’t even know if what I do and have considered a bit of bratting really is now. I’ll never be one to say something like “make me” but I might play a harmless but amusing prank to get a reaction. I would give an example but I don’t want to give away my secrets.

I do see more of the brat types seemingly more popular now at least among the type submissives identity with. For me, obeying is a huge part of what gives me pleasure so to constantly try to defy my Dom would probably just frustrate and exhaust us both.

As with most kinks, to each their own. As long as the people involved are cool with it, it doesn’t matter to me.

nuvaris • Oct 4, 2021

*** New here, first post. Advise if it's in any way not appropriate. ***

I agree and I get that this is a completely different head space for you. But not every dom is going to be aware that calling you a "bitch" will trigger a different experience for you than "naughty".

It's entirely possible a dom (especially if you're new to his world) had prior subs that didn't make that distinction, or even like the term being used at them. This is the kind of nuance that requires thorough communication before (or during) to get the experience that best feeds your cravings.

But I agree it's an important item that an experience dom should have in his vernacular.

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Oct 4, 2021

Brattiness should not be an excuse for an act committed out of anger. It should not be a place you go to when you are upset.
I have had potential partners become upset with me for things I have done (especially during the getting to know you phase) and react in childish ways (silent treatment, becoming unproductively argumentative, making rude assumptions about my character, even outright screaming), then when called out on this behavior, they claim that they are just being bratty. This is not brattiness, nor is it the correct place for brattiness. This is a legitimate issue that needs be addressed in an adult fashion so as to be properly resolved.

Brattiness is supposed to be an act of support for a relationship you value and enjoy.

WetWhenWhipped88​(sub female) • Oct 5, 2021

As a lifelong brat, I can honestly say that I do not brat when angry. Bratting, for me, is a specific action, tease, or torment used manipulatively to gain me a specific reaction or funishment. Acting out while angry is completely different. It isn't done for punishment, but because I think you're an asshole and deserve whatever treatment I've panned out. It isn't sexual, it's vindictive. ^_^ Hope this clarified. Being a brat and thinking you're an asshole are completely different.

Morgein • Oct 5, 2021

"Bratting, for me, is a specific action, tease, or torment used manipulatively to gain me a specific reaction or funishment."

I've been watching this thread with interest, and I'm curious if someone can explain how bratting is different from topping from the bottom.

WetWhenWhipped88​(sub female) • Oct 5, 2021

I can only speak for myself. Every dynamic is different.

For me, I might brat to get a little extra attention, get myself a spanking.... but honestly, it's mostly to initiate contact. I am not always great at telling my dom what I want or that I'm "in the mood". Of course, whenever he wants to initiate I'm game. However, I get insecure and chicken out of saying things like "can we fuck?" Or "wanna spank me?". When I brat, it let's my dom know that I am feeling needy and I'm down for some slap and tickle. Once that contact is initiated, I go into complete submissive mode. I am completely at his disposal and happy to be used in whatever way he sees fit. I want no control of the decisions or the scene, I just want to relax into the submission. Bratting, for me, is just my way of requesting extra attention.

Defender​(dom male) • Oct 5, 2021

A good question, and I'm not sure there is a definitive answer.

The best I can get at, is that it will be for each individual Daddy/Dom to decide whether the line between the two has been crossed.

For me and from experience, if the behaviour is called out and the sub immediately apologises and resumes her submissive role - without any push-back or complaint - then I will accept that as bratting, rather than trying to top from the bottom.

I'm also interested in other peoples' views.

Gaiawolf​(sub female){RogueWolf} • Oct 5, 2021

I personally hate being in any sort of control with a Dom. I am totally submissive to anything he wants. So for me, bratting is letting my child express herself in a fun and flirty way that is totally disconnected from the submissive woman in me. When I brat, it may lead to sexual encounter, but its more a fun way to get attention and contact that is more on the playful fun end of the spectrum rather then sexual.
Brat equals fun, sexy flirting equals ...well sex lol

Oh boy..

Noire{Owned (NH)} • Oct 5, 2021

I’d like to believe that I’ve aquatinted myself with enough people. Where there is this common misconception of being a brat = bitchiness…
It’s an unfortunate skewed view of specific labels associated with a “Brat” “SAM” “Princess.” So on and so forth. Or whatever “unwanted” behavior is associated with a marginalized group of people.
( Being BRATS.)

It’s like going around and around in a round about. This specific topic is ever circulating and re-washed in different words.People are people. It’s as simple as that. Each person chooses who they want to be in a dynamic with. Some 24/7 dynamics want a “eccentric” submissive.
(Take the word eccentric as you will, it is not used in a disrespectful manner on my end.)
Where having their patience tested in extreme ways, is what they like.

Now I feel like we all have some sort of discernment deep, deep down somewhere. Where we know what our limits are… Sure some “BRATTY” submissive’s have an intense way of communicating with their dominants.
( wether you as an individual classify that as bitchiness, rudeness, etc that’s your opinion.)
But there’s a reason why people choose specific individuals. What may push your boundaries won’t for another. People are fascinating that way.

It’s okay to say you’ve tried a mango (brat) and maybe you didn’t like the specific mango (brat). That doesn’t mean you won’t find another mango( also a brat( that may be a little sweeter!
( As in you may have had a first time experience with an eccentric submissive. We’ve all been there! But that doesn’t mean we should marginalize them all into one thing.)

Now I’m no one special and this is my own opinion. I myself have an incredible side of being bratty. But my brattiness doesn’t equal bitchy. ( That’s a completely different side to me.) The dominant that I’ve connected with has seen that side many times. But he always knows how to quell it. So I personally feel like it takes the right dominant to satiate that side of a brat. But to each their own

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Oct 6, 2021

THAT, right THERE, is probably THE BEST description I've ever heard!