Knightsundere(sub male)
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2 years ago •
Oct 12, 2021
2 years ago •
Oct 12, 2021
Super cool to hear that you're making changes like this!
There are a lot of aspects to domination/submission and you don't need to tap into all of them in order to have a good time. If slapping or name-calling or rope tying isn't your or his thing, those aren't necessary parts that you're depriving him of, they're just optionals that you're not interested in using. So, when building up towards... whatever the end goal is, whether that's a particular strength of domination or particular activity, you don't need to hit every step on the staircase, just the ones you want to.
Going from a conventional relationship I'd probably start with traditionally masculine loving, so firm hands when you grip him. Don't ask him to turn over - grab the hips and push him over. No need to lose communication by any means, but establish yourself as the deciding force of where the sex is going. There are parts of the body that are center points from where, from the perspective of the sub, it feels like control is being removed - the back of the neck and head, above the sternum (high, below the neck, otherwise it's just a typical chest palm), directly above the penis, and high on the thighs are some of my personal spots. They're not traditional locations to be held because, if they're held firmly, they inhibit movement. I'm not some expert though, these are just personal notes - take them with a grain of salt, ahah.
I'm personally a very big fan of groping, so maybe try working that into the foreplay if you're comfortable with it. It sets the tone and implies that you're in control of when sexual things can begin, or that your desires are perhaps more important than his.
You didn't mention any of the more specific fetishes so I don't know what you mean by "super hardcore", nor what he's interested in when he says "dominate", BUT nonetheless, in my opinion domination as a concept is an approach to intimacy, rather than a subset of fetish. What I mean is that it's possible to feel completely dominated without a partner being in a sexy uniform, or telling you to eat dirt, or chaining you to the wall, etc. - it's a feeling.
Hope this helps, good luck c:
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