What makes you ignore messages on here?

ChillVibes​(sub male) • 01/06/2022 10:46 pm

For me it's always been messages that make a lot of presuppositions, or otherwise skip any proper introduction. Like if we haven't agreed on titles, don't open your message to me with "Hey slut" and definitely don't ask me about sexual favors before I've gotten to say hello to you.

And of course, anything that makes it crystal clear to me that my profile wasn't even read before I was messaged.

People tend to disregard a lot of boundaries online.

LongerJohnny​(dom male){Catcher} • 01/06/2022 11:28 pm

I forgot all about this one and it's one that irritates me a bit.
The ones where the subject is longer than the actual message. For instance:
Subject: Saw your profile and thought you looked really interesting.
Actual message: Chat?
Ignoring for the moment how thin the message is when taken and its entirety, how about switching or at least balancing them?

Re: Polite communication requires ...

Bella duPuy​(sub female){Not lookin} • 01/07/2022 1:26 am

WW, i love you so much girlie #Pri¢ele$$
#stopreadingmuhthoughts

Dominus eius​(dom male){LittleLott} • 01/07/2022 11:00 am

I’ve read/watched this thread for a while now and have come close to replying a few times - I’ve finally “cracked”.

Why is there a presumption that you’re owed a reply to a message you send out?

Do you reply to spam emails from companies selling you the latest and greatest. If someone tried to stop you in the street and make you listen to what they wanted to say - do you owe them a reply?

OK, so from a message point of view I’m probably in the “luckiest” demographic on here. A male Dom, with a submissive who isn’t looking for a play partner. As such, the number of messages I receive is minimal. Therefore the number received, tone of content, relevance of content - none of those things impact me as an individual, however, I’m aware they very much do impact others.

I’m trying to avoid going into a soliloquy on why messages like that aren’t acceptable, as some of us know they’re not and why they’re not. Those that don’t, aren’t going to suddenly see the light because of what I write here. It’s suffice to say that (in my opinion) being Dominant does not equate to a lack of manners, care or courtesy - I would almost argue the opposite, you should set the standards.

To return to my original thought, irrespective of the message content - the choice to reply is entirely in the hands of the recipient with zero obligation - unless (obviously) they’re in a form of dynamic with you already….

A Cloud​(sub female) • 01/07/2022 2:05 pm

As a member who is not seeking a dynamic, I agree with Dominus eius. My mailbox and private messaging is closed to new messages, which is great for me! I can contact others and existing contacts are not blocked. Even so, before I blocked new messages, I did not receive that many and only one ridiculous but inoffensive as I remember it. I used to wonder why others were bombarded with inappropriate or generic messages. I just put it down to the rhetoric, attitude and intention I present, which is....... unconventional (says she at a BDSM site ).

I must state that I did not read much of the thread - very little actually.

Conan​(dom male) • 01/07/2022 3:36 pm

I don't normally ignore messages, but if I feel pressured/cajoled/manipulated then I'll end the conversation. I have to know the person is sane, and on the same wave length as me before I care to see or share pictures.

Kiscyn • 01/11/2022 6:49 pm

Time constraints and experiences of trying to politely say NMK or no thank you and continuing to receive repeated messages

errata​(sub female) • 01/11/2022 8:43 pm

Folks who just say "hi". Tell me SOMETHING that will help me know that you are contacting me on purpose.

Master Raf​(dom male) • 01/12/2022 3:50 am

On the other hand, a polite conversation starter from a sub is refreshing.

creidsinn​(sub female) • 01/12/2022 9:52 am

I know this is either old school or just my mindset: I was taught that the man(in my case) makes the first move. I have needed to break through that with more use of internet connections but it doesn’t make me feel good about myself or my role. Very seldom will I reach out first. I have done so but only when I feel an opportunity is passing by because a person is clueless about my interest.

I’m intelligent and love conversation and using words, but starting conversations has always been the responsibility of the man, or in this case, dominant. I will respond when there is actual conversation in a message. Ask me something, whatever and don’t drop the ball, keep the momentum going. I can hold up my side of a conversation but I also expect real conversation from the messenger.

All that to say that one words messages or messages that don’t show that they’re dominant (not domineering but taking the reins in the way a true dominant can) will be read and deleted. I’m worth the time of decent conversation.