What makes you ignore messages on here?

Notely • Aug 27, 2022

I have done this before

If they only say Hi
I would say :Hello Hi My name is Hey , Is this how you message people they did teach you in school right?
Wanna cam sex ?
I say : I only drink sex on the beach Sorry.

I like to hit you wanna meet right away
I say Thanks but no thanks that your thing hang ten have fun at the beach I gotta get this call.

Hey Hot body
I say : I just got my hot flashes as a guy but if you wanna rock my world you take my shopping.

I'mME • Aug 27, 2022

elegantlymade,

I am not one who has ever been quick on my feet when it comes to situations like this.
I just deal with the words on paper. Often I find that irritates people, oh well , it is how I choose to do it.
I do have the ability to pull something I get from their energy and ''hit'' them with it. It is physicslly exhausting and I do not want to break someone down, but it's like the asshole in elementary school. They just hammer away, until you turn around and bite them. Then, instead of acknowledging that they were The Asshole, they ran to some authority figure, crying about that old mean dog that put of nowhere just wandered up and bit a chunk off. Someone comes into my box or [fill in to personalize it], I answer the question presented, if it's a hi, that's what they get, if it's a hwy, same back, a wassup [I may write a little more: directions for a message, salutations, a sentence or 2, closing of the message, type stuff.]
But if get a response that twist anything I have written, assumed and then write out something I didn't write, write some BS out that is out of their imagination, the list could go on. We all make mistakes and I will apologize. If I feel that I misunderstood someone words, I will humbly apologize. I never apologize for things that are not my fault. No. 7 on a list of things we should never apologize for, but I am not ever too old to be humbled.

I just get tired of men who have Dom, whatever on their profiles, who send messages that are cold, impersonal and expect me to respond with anything other than what they give me. Here is a clue

I am not your anything, that's right, it's as if you came up to me on the street and said blah blah blah.
Then get your knixkers in a twist, so then you default to trying to put me in my place. This can be represented several ways.
You call me any number of names.
You tell me what I am or what I am not.
You state your assumptions about me, this technique will probably cost you. I am right there , fucking ask.
I am a human being all the time, before being submissive. My sub part of my psyche is rarely engaged, but because I believe in myself and what I can bring to someone's table is why I keep at this.
For all you that just write to s-types to throw your ego around,tell us what the fuck we are, or are not, call us names, act stupid and try to order us around, tell us what we could do to improve on anything , make remarks about how we look, tell us what YOU want to do to us, tell us that we want to dominate you as, tell us that we just have not had the right man to make us what the fuck ever, we are too this or we are too that, we should, we should not, we are, we are not ...................................................

JUST STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!




[I am not addressing what Doms get in their mailbox. If I need to explain why, then just ask, and be prepared].


NonyB

Sweetn'curiousvixen​(sub female) • Aug 30, 2022

For me, it's complicated, I like to scan out the profile and read the message, and talk a little and if a find the person is only i to sex and has no intention on actual conversation, or if the replies are short and uninterested, it's a nono for me

ZackFrak • Sep 11, 2022

No one has written to me yet.

Whorgazmo​(sub female) • Sep 11, 2022

- I have a word I require in the subject line. Any message without it gets ignored.

- People who are impatient. If I didn't specially say "I am giving myself to you" you don't own my time and I don't own yours. You don't get to determine how fast I respond just because we had one video chat. I extend that same courtesy.

- People who are possessive (usually goes with impatience). Again, I didn't give myself to you. You don't own me until I specifically say you do. I will continue talking to other people until you take the steps necessary to form an exclusive relationship. A few messages back and forth is not sufficient effort to claim me. I'm not trying to hurt your ego and it's nothing personal. I need to see sacrifice from you, as you are the leader, and I will follow in turn.

- Poly people. My personal trigger that takes me from 0 to 100 in terms of irritation. I've listed it four times on my profile/ad that I'm monogamous. If it isn't obvious, I don't want anything to do with you. These are the only ones who get blocked immediately.

- People who expect me to carry the conversation. I don't care how good you look, how much money you make, how desirable you are....you need to participate in the conversation and ask basic questions. I will return it if I'm into you.

- People who are taking too long to make a move or who don't make their desire/dominance known after months of talking. There's a respectful way to put your sexual desire out there. I get a lot of vanilla people who just want someone they can talk with (which is fine as is), or they try to go the "friend route" trying to trick me. No. This isn't vanilla dating and I'm not going to waste my time on someone who isn't direct. If I wanted a vanilla relationship, I’d be in one.

- Disrespectful sexual interactions...an old classic. There's a thin line between respect and disrespect. However, respect is a very big thing for me. If you are talking normally to me for weeks and then suddenly throw in a sex story or start talking raunchy without slowing easing into it...that's disrespectful. I hate that. Very unsexy and you need to work on your seduction skills.

- Ignoring the roadmap I give out for free. If someone asks me what I want, I will tell them. None of this is a secret test. I will give you a step-by-step guide as to what will make me happy. I tell people what it takes and 9/10 times my advice gets ignored.

- The ones I forget. I feel bad about these ones but if there's a way to mark a message as unread on here I don't know how to do it (if there's a way please someone educate me). Sometimes I read a message and there's just too much there. I plan to respond to it later and it just gets lost.

Sir Richard​(dom male) • Sep 11, 2022

Herkermer wrote:
"So what does get a genuinely interested reply?

I personally run out of steam in attempting to be genuine and actually putting effort in to a message, when the likelihood of getting a reply is around 10%. Most of those replies are that of scammers."

I can relate to this very well. More than 90% of messages I've received were from scammers or fake doms/subs. I don't get the appeal of screwing with people's time and emotions. The only reason I came to this site was to learn more about BDSM during my newbie times when I had just really started learning and understanding more about my nature and and this culture I had recently joined. I've received some great advice from a couple Doms and of course by reading many of the blogs and forums.

It's strange that I ended up finding my sub on a regular dating site rather than on this site dedicated to BDSM lifestyle. Still I suspect the main reason is that I don't really believe in spending money on websites, but if I did, this would be the one I would choose.

I read and respond to all messages received, but then again I haven't received an overwhelming number. For those that do, I can truly understand ignoring rude wannabes.

Good luck to everyone in your search for friends, mentors, playpartners, and mates.

Grey Eyes​(sub female){Owned} • Sep 11, 2022

I do not completely ignore though my patience for a Dom who says hey you are beautiful, want to talk is nil at best.

I seek intelligence not beauty. If your initial message to me does not indicate that you read my profile and include a commonality that we share besides sex, I am likely to politely say I'm not interested.

Estaria​(sub female) • Sep 12, 2022

Needs to feel like a conversation for me. I don't want a message if you disappear for days between messages or take hours to respond to most of the messages. I've made some good friends and every one of them took the time to send a message and be available for at least a short amount of time to start a conversation. That's just my personal preference, I don't like feeling like I'm emailing someone waiting for a reply once a week. I understand people have lives, but if I can do it I feel like I would like the same courtesy in return. ^.^

I'mME • Sep 12, 2022

Sweetn'curiousvixen

Reading profiles is something everyone should do. I flip to a profile before I open someones message.

I can only work with what is sent .
Hey usually gets a Hwy.
If I am asked a direct question, I will usually answer.

The other day here is a message, "Where do live dear? "
After reading their profile before I opened their message, I thought to myself, is that not on my profile....
So I double checked, yep, there it was. This person had written the same description 2x on their profile. I could not figure out if they were describing the kind of sub they wanted or themselves.
So that's what I asked them. Nothing more nothing less.
Empty Air.
My thinking is if their message is no greeting, just a question, then perhaps they are a nonsense person and if they just want to know where I live because that's what they base compatibility on, well I will help even further by asking the question I did.

If they are describing their s-types, I could have replied , I'm sorry but we are not compatible.

I pay very close attention to how someone approaches me and what they write or do not write. This is only after I have everything they have on their profile including blogs and forum posts.
I may not read everything they have written but I will read one of 2 to get an idea of what they think. If it's a heated topic , whether they take the time to address someone who had another question, aka acknowledge other people. I basically want to see how they treat people.

This may not work for everyone but it does for me.
I'm not sure when it became acceptable for Doms to write a stranger [I don't care if they are a sub, s-type- however they identify] and write as if they are in a dynamic from start.
It's arrogant , comes off as assholish and maybe instead of blaming whom you are writing , y'all may just want to take a look at your approach.

Yes I know, y'all have been doing this 40 years plus, but I am an introspective person and if someone is acting like this with a complete stranger then what's it look like in a dynamic with this person.

I'mME • Sep 13, 2022

SirsBabyDoll,

I have been contacted by the same people multiple occasions.
I answer the first 2 times just like they message. Like a parrot. I do not say anything else. These ones that I am addressing have the same, exact message each and every time.
Third [occasionally 4th] I say write something about it and usually a joke.

Empty Air....

I do not know what that means, it happens
Let's have a good laugh, but empty air.

That's about the point I am getting to myself.