A Cloud(sub female){Owned}
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2 years ago •
Nov 15, 2021
So right about the insecurities and dick fights. Just had an image of The Holy Grail scene with the Black Knight "None shall pass". All limbs including dick cut off and still they try to show off how big it is!
Using the word 'dick' is very intentional here. 'Cock' is saved for other times more fun. |
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Online now
LongerJohnny(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Nov 15, 2021
"Just a flesh wound"
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| Sophie's secret(sub female) |
2 years ago •
Nov 15, 2021
Public communication, IMHO can be a good first step to show interest in learning and growing
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| bigandsmall(sub female) |
2 years ago •
Nov 15, 2021
ButterfliesAndCuffs wrote: You make an excellent point and it’s something I’ve thought about too. In my opinion, Doms in general don’t talk to each other enough. I think it’s a missed opportunity in a lot of ways not just education wise, but support and advice with problems they might be having. I guess they might view it as a weakness, but I just think the community as a whole would be better.
I know that on the other side of the slash, submissives talk to each other and reach out to one another quite a bit. Doms will also reach out to give support or advice to a submissive. I wish they would do the same for other doms. I think you hit a big part of the issue, Ms. Butterfly. That perception. Men may not speak as freely as woman do in general, or admit the need for help. Some even expect the sub to enlighten them. Then there are those who take lessons from porn, turned on by the concept that is so extreme to the point of being laughable. They are actors. Maybe its hard to ask another to share their techniques? And what about when the sub knows more than the Dom. Dare she tell or advise him. That never goes well, cause well ... sub... by rites of passage, you don't get to question them. (bullshit btw) There is ignorance in all walks of life, so this community is no difference, it's just become saturated to the point it like wading through mud. Made worse after that stupid fairy tale movie and book, we all know which one lol. I only hoped that this post might encourage some Dom mentors to suggest or refer the up and cumming of different ways to truly enhance their understanding of this life. |
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TigerBDSM(dom male){looking}
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2 years ago •
Nov 15, 2021
The primary question is what is the "dom" seeking. What level does he aspire to accomplish in the lifestyle. Kinky sex, escapism, deeperl evels of mental and or physical involvement, total immersion or any kink, they all require learning. Most you can self learn, some require higher levels of education.
Their is a direct correlation with higher levels of achievement and how you obtained it. The basics can be learned and self taught with a WILLING partner. Even more advanced activities can be ascertained via again a WILLING partner who is cognizant that you will be learning together. Sadly the atypical poser simply lies. Most never get past the rudimentary levels of the lifestyle. Those who seek to do more OFTEN learn by those who are more proficient. The people with ACTUAL EXPERIENCE are very happy to share their abilities. The harsh example....You want to fly a helicopter (be a MASTER), have ZERO training, but have TEN THOUSAND hours watching flight videos in your basement (bdsm porn). You trick (as in he finally tricks you to come fly with him) someone to go with you, and lie to someone about how you know how to fly. They had you the key. Within 10 seconds after liftoff, you lose control, the rotor hits the ground, flips around and decapitates you both...... THANK GOD this does not happen in real life, but getting over your head as a poser happens DAILY. The girl escapes and blogs about it, everyone else says...sooo sorry, but I know better, won't happen to me.....until it DOES. Those who want to be good at anything seek instruction, typically from someone in real life. However the insta dom, keyboard dom needs nothing. All he needs to do is lie enough until someone says yes to him. BOTTOM LINE, YES to obtain success in anything takes EFFORT AND TRAINING. Fortunately and unfortunately the lifestyle allows people to cheat the system. The good news is when you pass the basics, to get better requires ACTUALLY DOING IT with someone. The one learning either learns to get better OR learns how to lie better...... OG (read my entire profile) off soap box now AND THANK YOU The Cage for this wonderful site!!! Be well, Tiger |
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| bigandsmall(sub female) |
2 years ago •
Nov 15, 2021
MrVesper wrote: This i s good subject and one I agree with @bigandsmall.
There are a lot of instadoms, both male and female, running around. It depends on approach and study. I dont buy into 'watching a video' to learn. That only happens with practice, trial and error and lots of patience. The video is a good introduction but a poor teacher When I was growing up, learning was an apprenticeship, with many teachers. We also submitted and were taught humility. I dont trust anyone who has not served before declaring as a dominant.I have been involved with this community for over 30 years and still don't see myself as a "Master," and refuse to declare that title for myself, if a sub chooses to call me this after we have spent some time together, that's another story. I also don't trust anyone who will not ask basic questions; that goes to the lack of responsibility observation from bigandsmall. this generation learns form tik tok, you tube, porn hub, kink.com which is good knowledge but has nothing to do with application. its bubblegum. I also find submissive who declare themselves without really understanding beyond the sexual bit or getting truly inside and then beyond the 'idea of submitting.' its a game, which is fine if thats what you want and are clear in the beginning with what your looking for. even though I miss the older style of learning there are some good practices we didn't have growing up. I think we all have to keep our eyes and ears open. Look-we're all learning. We learn from doing, from other Doms, as well as from those who submit to us. Well put Mr. Vester, I do get the "fun" of introducing this into your sex life to spice it up, nothing wrong with that. There are kinky sites for that sort of fwb type. But to title yourself something you are not just because you think it means you can boss a woman without her laughing at you, (sorry, that was not nice) is dangerous and irresponsible. I appreciate your understanding that a course in submission doesn't imply your weakness as a Dom but enhances it. You gain a better understanding of your sub. Without sounding like those folks that say "In my day". I appreciate people exploring thru whatever means be it media or by mouth, what I object to is the self imposed title most of all. This site is dedicated to the lifestyle of BDSM. hell, even at my age I am still learning, but if a person found their way here with intentions of more than getting a non contested Blow Job, then ask questions, both sub and Dom, make mistakes, explore your likes, just learn what being a Dom really means before calling yourself one. You'll gain more respect in my book |
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| bigandsmall(sub female) |
2 years ago •
Nov 15, 2021
[quote="TigerBDSM"]The primary question is what is the "dom" seeking.
Those who want to be good at anything seek instruction, typically from someone in real life. However the insta dom, keyboard dom needs nothing. All he needs to do is lie enough until someone says yes to him. BOTTOM LINE, YES to obtain success in anything takes EFFORT AND TRAINING. Fortunately and unfortunately the lifestyle allows people to cheat the system. The good news is when you pass the basics, to get better requires ACTUALLY DOING IT with someone. The one learning either learns to get better OR learns how to lie better...... OG (read my entire profile) off soap box now AND THANK YOU The Cage for this wonderful site!!! Be well, Tiger[/quote Excellent, Thank you for your response. you are absolutely correct and honesty promotes trust and trust will open many RL, hands on experience willingly and without being made to feel embarrassed to say I never knew that, or I'd like to try that. When you lie, you will work twice as hard for that nut you crave. This community is open and usually willing to share but once you are marked, will close ranks before you can say I'm a Dahhh...mm |
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Atilla(switch male){Owned}
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2 years ago •
Nov 15, 2021
I have been hesitant to share my thoughts on this, but I have thoughts and experiences and I think that they could be helpful in the overall conversation. I tend to walk all around the point, so in the interest of brevity, here is what I have to add: when I came to this site, I had been "out of the game" for quite a while. A lot of terminology was different than what I was used to... and I somewhat publicly sought help in parsing what everything was and what small shifts in how persons interested in a certain thing were referred to versus what it was "back in the day". When I did so in the chat room, it felt as though I was met with judgement and distrust, particularly from other Dominants. These feelings still color my interactions here today.
I think that people *should* interact here with the purpose of trying to learn and grow... but I also think that the persons from whom counsel is sought need to be mindful of their place in such an interaction. My style is different from a lot of Dominants.... I can see and accept that. It does not, however, mean it is not valid. If, as an established Dom, you are around when such counsel is being sought - the way to keep such a "seeker" engaged is to accept that as well. A different style does not mean someone is ill-informed. A lack of knowledge about things that you consider to be basic does not mean you are talking to a "poser". We would do well to remember that, in the first place, that person has come to try to understand something.... whatever the question is. Boiled down point: If we want people to ask and grow and learn, we cannot be mad if their asking and learning is met with judgement and gatekeeping. |
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| A rose's sir(dom male) |
2 years ago •
Nov 15, 2021
I think part of the issue for newer doms is how do you find a good mentor? I'd love to have one to show me the ropes but like others have pointed out doms rarely talk. After a few years in the community I still consider myself a novice because I've only had the online resources. I've met some really cool people who aren't looking to mentor any one which is fair and I've met others who only want to "mentor" in order to stroke their own ego. Maybe there should be a dom 4 dom mentor thing like the other sections on the cage?
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MrVesper(dom male){Not Lookin}
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2 years ago •
Nov 15, 2021
@atilla feel your pain and know exactly what you are saying.
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