Contact with the dom

Hawkeye • Dec 9, 2017

@owned
Please disregard russians blatant ignorance on this topic.

It’s a difficult question to answer because only you no all the details. Such as did a disagreement occur or anything along that lines? How deep is the relationship? How well do you know him? Many, many more questions and variables. Silence and withdrawal can be used as punishment. However for me at least if punishment is handed out it’s important that the sub know why she is being punished and what the punishment is before it is administered. Your response of waiting patiently is admirable and correct. Since you received no explanation as to why you have no contact it would be wise to set a time limit, perhaps 2 weeks, as to how long you wait before moving on.
The only way to garuntee you won’t get hurt is to not get attached to anyone or anything. In order to receive the feelings you desire you must give the feelings you desire and there is always the risk they won’t be returned. No risk, no reward.

DollwithKinks​(sub female) • Dec 9, 2017

Then you @Hawkeye.
For me waiting sounds like quite a reasonable thing to do as of now. Though I sincerely hope that I'll be with the rightful person in no time again.

Gomez A​(switch male){Taken} • Jan 3, 2018

Did you ever get in touch with him?

Miki • Jan 5, 2018

I was about to say the same thing, perhaps with a bit more finesse, but to add, although there are a fair number of people online who are sincere in their virtual friendships, the down-side of "online" is that it kind of fits right in with today's society as in "disposable". Disposable friends, plastic razors , flashlight (or if some fellas prefer fleshlight) batteries -- y'know, shit like that.

I know there are those who would oppose what I say here, but human nature is human nature. We are animals of convenience deep down.

Hell, when in "real life" people go through jobs, apartments and even spouses with relative ease, a relationship across the miles with but a website or email address as a connection is that much easier to cast aside like last year's calendar.

Not the heart-warmingest thing to say, but unless your dom broke his legs off and is, at this moment, still clawing his way to his computer/tablet/phone to reach you, it's a fair bet you can call him Casper.

K y i v • Jan 5, 2018

BTW owned ghosted us all... Irony? Lol

evergrey​(sub female){Ashigeru} • Jan 6, 2018

No.
That's no excuse for being shitty to people.
There ARE real people on the other side of the keyboard. Not everyone is a sociopath playing pretend. Lots of us are real, and we are being honest and genuine.
Hopefully if it is nothing but fantasy, you're honest about that from the get-go.
Not saying everyone who does fantasy roleplay is a sociopath, but lying about who and what you are purposefully to deceive is pretty sociopathic. Don't do that. Don't make excuses for that.

Master Whatever​(dom male) • Jan 7, 2018

.

Bunnie • Jan 21, 2018

I realise this is an older post and I hope it all worked out one way or another. I experienced this type of situation when I first joined here and also posted a forum looking for feedback about it we are so lucky to have somewhere to turn to for practical advice. At the time I chose to wait patiently for his return. I was very new, and didn’t know if it was something I had done or if I was being ghosted. I must say, I’m hindsight... if anything, he certainly trained me very well to wait lol. It wasn’t negotiated, and it was painful and torturous and most importantly... damaged my trust in him. Once that happened, there was no redemption for what we had.

UnrulyNerdGirl​(sub female) • Apr 15, 2018

Although the OP has left, I think this post has value for others who are new to the lifestyle or new to the lifestyle online.

For myself, I don’t play online ever, and I am extremely reluctant to engage in a long distance relationship. Having become part of the BDSM community in real life, I just wouldn’t find satisfaction in playing online, or cybering etc.

That being said, for some, online is all they have, or all they are able to have. For these folks, it has value and meaning, and to say anything otherwise is extremely rude and discourteous.

The biggest drawback for having an online or virtual relationship, especially if there is no visual contact other than words on a keyboard, is you don’t really know who you are dealing with. You could meet a Dominant or submissive that is your ideal, but you don’t really know - it could all be smoke and mirrors, that just up and vanishes one day. That being said, the same can happen in real life, but with online, you might think someone is an experienced, young female sub, but in reality they are a middle aged postal carrier named Bob.

There are risks, but that doesn’t mean someone shouldn’t attempt an online relationship - it just means that caution needs to be exercised, and trust needs to be metered out very slowly.

It is just Simple Play ? Begging to differ.

CapnRick​(dom male) • Apr 16, 2018

I've had several online only subbies--some well over a year or more. In my experience, online relationships regularly do involve real emotions, real attachments , real arousal and powerful connections through D/s online. You have my sympathy for what he's done to you.

If you send him notes which do not get kicked back as undeliverable, you might assume there is a good chance he gets them. When you've gone more than a couple weeks, certainly a month, with no communication coming back, it is probably time to try to wrap up your confusion and grief, and begin another search.
Even if he contacts you again, you will know he is unreliable, and probably a cruel manipulator, unless he shows up in a full body cast, or is writing from a jailhouse....neither as likely as that he found another, and thinks like Kiev, that it is only play and you can't get hurt....
You probably sense that isn't the whole experience.

Good hunting, and better luck with the next Dom you find.....