The good and bad of being a brat

The good and bad of being a brat

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Dec 19, 2021

Let's have a discussion about brats. I said in another post that I have no tolerance for brats. But of course thinking more about it, I realize that there is a place for brats. There are different kinds of brats. But what kind of brat is good for each individual is key.

What is a good brat vs a bad brat?
When does being a brat reach a high level of dysfunction?
What does a brat expect from their Dom/Domme?
Different ways brats test Doms/Dommes?
Do all brats need therapy?
How to live in harmony with a brat?
Do brats get a bad rap?

DrWakko • Dec 19, 2021

It has been discussed that brats are an on line thing. This doesn't mean that someone can't be bratty. Usually when someone is bratty its because their partner isn't giving them the attention that they want so they act out seeking the attention.

So if you want to talk about brats go for it... keep the role play alive!

DW

Lady Char​(sub female) • Dec 19, 2021

I identify as a sub with brat tendencies. Would all D's who come into contact with me call me a brat? Maybe, maybe not. Does that change things for me and the Dominants I chose to engage with in play? No.

I don't do defiance. I don't throw tantrums. I won't start acting out if I'm not getting enough attention.

I will look for loopholes. I will play minor, silly pranks. I will sass you and look for opportunities to ding you with a "Good boy" or pretend to give you a task or homework.

If you engage with me, you'll get a peek at that straight away, and you chose to become my Dominant because you're entertained and you like it when I do that, because you know I know where the line is, and that I want you to mentally dance with me. If you don't like that sort of thing, it'll become apparent very quickly and we'll likely chose not to go further because there's a lot of joy in that sort of play for me, and I don't want to have to squash that down.

I don't care if anyone reads the above and thinks (or tells me) "You're not really a brat". It's how I identify, and it's how I use that label within my own dynamic that matters to me. I won't let other people define who or what I am, or how I should kink.

My two cents, for what they are worth.

PrecorX​(sub female) • Dec 19, 2021

I’m curious. Why are we so focused on labels?
Do labels define the traits of a dynamic or do individuals?
Does a label really define the whole of an individual?

We are multi-dimensional beings. A person can be expected to respond differently when faced a particular environment, scenario or personality type. We can’t possibly be expected to fit into a box with only one label.

Who are we to take one part of a multi-dimensional being, slap a label on it and determine whether it’s good or bad? Whether or not a trait has a place in our community?

Every person is unique. Every dynamic is unique, as it is the reflection of two (or more) individuals. Those engaged in the dynamic are the ones to determine if a behavior or trait is acceptable.

Why focus on the labels or sub types vs just simply getting to know the whole of an individual. To learn all of one’s traits and not just stop at one.

In my opinion what fits into a given dynamic is personal. Ask 10 people and receive 10 different answers. As a community, there should be a place for every REAL and authentic person who chooses to engage in this lifestyle, despite what their engagement may look like.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Dec 19, 2021

Dude, seriously?
Lets just look at the first thing you did wrong: The title
Just asking about "The good and bad of being a brat" suggests that there is ANYTHING inherently good OR bad about being a brat.
And if that weren't dumb enough -
Suggesting that it is merely a matter of time before a brat becomes dysfunctional?
Trying to estimate the percentage of brats who just "need therapy?"
WTF?
It has been the experience of most regular visitors to these posts - which should include you - that blatant condescension is not the best way to begin a rational, objective conversation.
Unless that is not the type of conversation you were trying to provoke...

Oh, this is not going to end well.
May the BDSM gods guide and protect us.

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Dec 19, 2021

Lj "Suggesting that it is merely a matter of time before a brat becomes dysfunctional?"

I never did that. Wtf are you taking about? I said when does being a brat become dysfunctional? People can give their own take on the question.

Give your take on the questions and leave the BS out of it. I won't even address the rest of your crap.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Dec 19, 2021

What is a good brat vs a bad brat?
Depends on what’s accepted in a particular dynamic.

When does being a brat reach a high level of dysfunction?
See above. Maybe never.

What does a brat expect from their Dom/Domme?
Depends on the individual.

Different ways brats test Doms/Dommes?
See above.

Do all brats need therapy?
Of course not.

How to live in harmony with a brat?
Make sure that type of dynamic is what you enjoy.

Do brats get a bad rap?
Sometimes.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Dec 19, 2021

That may not have been what you meant, but when one asks about WHEN a thing will happen, as opposed to IF a thing will happen, as opposed to whether or not that thing EVER even happens at all - yes, that is framing the question as a matter of time.
Don't hesitate to address everything I ever say, about anything, crap or otherwise. It is not like you to shy away from sharing your opinion.

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Dec 19, 2021

Precor, you're correct. But I'm trying to get individual takes on what it means to them. When I first thought of brat, it was negative. But I realize that each couple can have a dynamic that is different from others.

Honestly, being a brat can be a deal breaker for many. So before you get to know the "whole" of a person, it can go left. The same way people of different faiths will shun each other before becoming acquainted.

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Dec 19, 2021

Lj, again. I never said when it will happen. Gtfoh. You're just looking for a fight it seems.