tallslenderguy(other male)
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2 years ago •
Jan 7, 2022
Love this discussion, i think there are some great comments.
One thing i have not seen mentioned, that looms larger for me, is patience. To me "patience" is a hallmark of maturity and "maturity" seems central in a dynamic where one is taking charge and the other ceding control. Most of the time i personally cringe when a Man uses the identifier "Daddy" with me. i despise role play because who and how i am is real and, to me, "role play" has a denial, pretend element to it that denies my reality, and the real relationship that i want. i have experienced a Man who, for a lack of a better explanation, 'regressed' me and i experienced a Daddy/boy dynamic with Him. If He'd taken leaps, seeing where He wanted to go and be with me, we'd probably never have gotten where we did, but He had understanding, skill, and patience. He exercised patience and took as long as it took to get where and what He wanted... and realized that i too wanted. Surprised the fuck out of me because i do not consider myself a little or a child or most of the things i perceive in this kind of dynamic. But that just underscores the individuality of kink dynamics. i think the terms we use are a starting place, not rules we try to conform to. For me, and i suspect for many, the dynamic is complicated. i think there are parts of me that are full on adult, and other parts that can be exposed that are 'boy.' i call that exposure "regression," but that term probably doesn't explain what happens well. To me, it's more of an uncovering, exposure and bringing forth, and all of that takes patience. |
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Online now
Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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2 years ago •
Jan 7, 2022
Extreme snip for brevity:
tallslenderguy wrote: Surprised the fuck out of me because i do not consider myself a little or a child or most of the things i perceive in this kind of dynamic. But that just underscores the individuality of kink dynamics. i think the terms we use are a starting place, not rules we try to conform to. For me, and i suspect for many, the dynamic is complicated. i think there are parts of me that are full on adult, and other parts that can be exposed that are 'boy.' i call that exposure "regression," but that term probably doesn't explain what happens well. To me, it's more of an uncovering, exposure and bringing forth, and all of that takes patience. I feel the same in that all these labels people seem to find necessary are highly misleading. Your expression of this dynamic is so similar to my own - once again. |
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KisforKitten(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Jan 7, 2022
Hey
what do I think makes a good Daddy....... Personally the bit I love most about my relationship and dynamic with my Daddy would be that he supports me when i'm big or little, he doesn't push me to be little or try to make me regress for his benefit, but lets me be whatever I need to be in that moment. I also think he's a good Daddy because of how he supports, nurtures and protects me when i'm feeling small or little.He makes me feel safe, and makes me feel safe enough to be able to regress in his company, which I find really hard to do with most people. I guess what i'm trying to say is he makes me feel safe, he makes me feel accepted, he doesn't make me feel ashamed for being little which is how I sometimes feel, he allows me to be me
I hope that helps
Kitten xx |
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| bigandsmall(sub female) |
2 years ago •
Jan 7, 2022
WytchyWoman wrote: IronWorld wrote: WytchyWoman wrote: Do YOU make any distinction yourself? The way I read this is that you do not.
I've yet to be convinced that I should make a distinction. That said, aftercare is as important and should be as relaxing as any scene is intense. My preferred aftercare might present to some as babyish or "little" type behavior but I'm *not* into claiming any label for myself. I move very easily in and out of various headspaces without wanting or needing to pigeon-hole myself as any one type. I'll admit to being confused when I see someone who identifies as a little go on to say they're NOT an age regressor, though. I thought maybe you might be able to explain how you differentiate between them but as it turns out you *don't* make any distinction. Thanks for your time but I guess I need to keep wondering. I am in agreement with you @WytchyWoman, A lot of the extensive terminology, labels and distinctions are too confining and confusing. Often too many contradictions of form as well. I like what I like when I like it I act how I act when I feel it Unapologetically, I am who I am... back to topic question though, The answers given? shouldn't most of those qualities apply to any partner? regardless of role? I do like the question because as someone not familiar with the dynamic, I get to understand the attraction |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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2 years ago •
Jan 8, 2022
bigandsmall wrote: I am in agreement with you @WytchyWoman, A lot of the extensive terminology, labels and distinctions are too confining and confusing. Often too many contradictions of form as well.
I like what I like when I like it I act how I act when I feel it Unapologetically, I am who I am... back to topic question though, The answers given? shouldn't most of those qualities apply to any partner? regardless of role? I do like the question because as someone not familiar with the dynamic, I get to understand the attraction Precisely. All of the qualities that make a good "daddy" are the very same qualities I would expect and look for from ANY dominant / top. |
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A Cloud(sub female){Owned}
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2 years ago •
Jan 8, 2022
I agree to a certain extent but there are nuanced differences in the symbolism that submissives conceive of varying roles. That is the very nature of evolving dynamics, and in different terms, relationships. For example, I might see one dominant as a daddy but another might fit with my concept of a master or sensual dom or Big Bird (no bird fetish, just my attempt at hyperbole). It is difficult to express these nuances in such a forum so the key qualities are stated, which apply not just to a partner but to being a decent friend or family member - I think they call it common decency.
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Bunnie
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2 years ago •
Jan 8, 2022
I think to a degree, a Daddy takes on a parental role, and that’s what differs it from other positions within BDSM. If you think of the characteristics of what makes a great father, that’s what a Daddy does for his girl/boy.
I feel like this aspect is often overlooked/unspoken, because it’s so often twisted into an area that DD/lg/lb are always trying to defend themselves from… the implication that these relationships are playing in nefarious waters (something I personally do not agree is the case). Those I know who identify as Daddy’s are all wonderful Men who care for and nurture those around them. They have integrity, honour and respect for everyone and a very strong protective streak for those they care about or feel are vulnerable. They offer guidance and correction, and as mentioned above, seemingly endless patience. And definitely a feeling of safety. Another differing factor I think would be relatability. Those that I know as Daddy’s don’t seem so fixated on maintaining that power exchange awareness… they seem to just trust that it will be there when everything (like trust) falls into place, so they’re ok with being more relatable. Just some of my observations, anyway. Daddy’s Rock 
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