Avoiding stalking, cyberstalking

Avoiding stalking, cyberstalking

snysdup • Mar 2, 2022

Stalking-like behavior- how far is too far?
What information do you give as you get to know someone that "clicks" with what you are looking for? How soon?

I recently received a DM from someone that clearly showed they researched me via a profiling search- enough to find out the exact apartment number where I lived!!!!! My financial background!!!!

I shared my facebook name/address knowing there is nothing there that tells that information. It doesn't give my address, there are no photos of where I live. Yes- my photo and how I feel about things, my former careers. I rarely share my full name, let alone my facebook info.

And now I will not do that again. I felt that the quality of the person I was exchanging information with warranted letting him know me better. There was a chance of something good happening.

I am a stalking expert. I understand cybersecurity. Don't need a lecture about that. No haters please

DrWakko • Mar 2, 2022

If your facebook name is your real name then you can do an internet search and it will tell someone everything they need to know about you.

kuriouskit • Mar 2, 2022

Im so sorry that happened to you.

Honestly you can never be too careful and in my opinion if they are genuine then they will understand why you are being cautious. Maybe using an app or email dedicated to chatting but not linked to anything personal?

The timeline is a bit subjective but if you feel rushed in anyway that would be a red flag in my book.

Be safe!

heartlesslover​(sub female) • Mar 2, 2022

Sorry that happened to you. Any time you give your full real name you risk all that information being found. There are many free sites that give out personal information. Some of them give you an option to opt out, I have done so on a few for safety concerns related to my job.

IronWorld​(sadist male) • Mar 2, 2022

The one thing I never liked about facebook - That one period where they demanded that every user use their real name for their accounts. The higher ups claimed it was about reducing anonymous cyber-bullying (my guess was that it was about selling more accurate marketing data). The real disturbing truth was that as long as someone utilized a fake name that sounded realistic enough, one could leap over that little hurdle and take advantage of anyone who didn't know enough to hide their information.

I'm relatively careful, but even then I will get my credit card information stolen once in a while. Its a pain in the ass.

Regardless, when I begin talking with someone with the intent of getting serious, I always request a new photo with a handwritten sign with the woman's username and that day's date. Any hesitation ends the conversation and gets the person blocked. That way I know I'm not getting catfished.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Mar 2, 2022

When I first came here I was more open about myself, then I was stalked and what happened next shook me to my core. That person ruined my interactions from that point going forward. I now trust very slowly, much to the frustration of a fair number of people over the years, pretty sure a few possible connections were destroyed by that reticence to share what others feel very free and easy with.

The last person to scare me badly trigger me big time, had money, they threatened to have me found. They would not accept my boundaries, constantly pushing and disrespecting them, I ended things.

If you have your life laid bare elsewhere, facebook, or LinkedIn etc then you can be found, once you share a photo or name, what you do, then you can be located. My advice trust very, very slowly, and if they push, show distespect, or lack of empathy then close it down and walk away.

Whether its online or in the physical world, the risks are great.

Tradesman​(dom male){LilmissB} • Mar 2, 2022

It’s crazy what you can do online and people don’t get that 100% of the time (in a generalized sense not pointing fingers).

Long story short, my ex had an ex that wouldn’t stop leaving her alone. Driving by the house every night, calling etc etc.

Read this carefully. I do enjoy tech but at the time I was no means a tech guru or in dev ops etc. just a resourceful guy.

Solely from his first name, I was able to find his current and past addresses,
social media profiles (obviously), what car he drove and where he bought it from, plate number, place of work, phone numbers, email addresses, hell even a few of the clients he had. I stopped once I hit the family tree. I very well could have gather info on his parents and grand parents.

Why did I do this? Because I wanted all the info I could get on this guy to give to the authorities on the off chance the stalking turned physical towards my ex (girlfriend at the time) in anyway. Would I ever do that in the intention of stalking? Hell no, but how easy it was to do, that opened my eyes real quick. Very humbling.
Again, I was not in any tech, wasn’t in dev ops or cyber security at that point just extremely resourceful. It isn’t hard at all for someone with half a brain to do and doesn’t cost a cent. You don’t need much to go on to find people nowadays. Partially why I don’t have pictures of myself on here

Stay safe all


P.s. when that guy tried to call me in my phone, that was a very entertaining conversation to say the least

Tradesman​(dom male){LilmissB} • Mar 2, 2022

Another thing to note

DO NOT PUT EMOJIS OVER AN ITEM YOU WISH TO BE COVERED

To properly cover an item it needs to be blurred or the original has to be modified in some way. They have apps and software that can remove “cover ups”. In short it’s like an onion. If you cover part of a picture with an emoji you just put a layer on top of the original picture. Remove the layer, see the under layer (I.e. the original photo). If you blur the original photo or mark it in some way that alters that specific layer (photo) itself and doesn’t mask it, then that works and your safe.

snysdup • Mar 2, 2022

I know info can be bought or found. I was the one warning people about giving out too much info- as ID theft.

Main question- HOW do you get to know someone without opening the door on cyber stalking. BDSM is by definition- open, honest communication. Not lying, trust, respect. I know there are bad seeds out there. Maybe unintentional too eager or afraid themselves.

Tradesman​(dom male){LilmissB} • Mar 2, 2022

I never give my name or specifics of what I do together and I generally wait until I know that person can be trusted not to be brash or cyber stalk. Then again I’m not on Facebook anymore so it’s slightly harder but not impossible.

The other thing is when chats move from here to a more texting/calling type of conversation I never give my phone number, Normally I’ll use an app that is a texting app but doesn’t reveal or need my phone number. Again, depending on the person. It’s hard not to open that door though. Just simply having an account online with anything opens the door if that information is in the right hands. You needed to sign up here with your email. You being here opens the door to your email, email opens the door to finding out what online stores you shop at which continues into card info, identity, where you live etc etc and even where you frequent as far as brick and motor stores. Again, I’m the right hands. That takes a very skilled person to have the knowledge of how to do that without being traced or found. Most are pretty sloppy.

That is the exact reason I keep my personal life more private now in general and why I never set any schedules in real life with where I go or what I do amongst other things. If someone got my info and wanted to turn things to physical stalking it’s harder to find me because I have no set “routine” perse. (Go to this coffee shop at 9 am Monday Wednesday and Thursday every week as an example). But, I digress