Miki
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2 years ago •
Mar 6, 2022
LongerJohnny wrote: JustAlice wrote: I find submissive training to be a really interesting subject. Who trains Doms? What qualifies a Dom to train a sub? Genuine questions.
I understand the notion of mentors for Doms, the more experienced guiding those of less experience but the idea of Doms training isn’t spoken about often. Submissive are trained in basic tasks such as positions. This is, by many, classed as training. Who trains Doms in aspects of their role such as, providing quality aftercare. This, to me, is much more complex than standing with hands on a wall. Maybe a good starting point with your friend would be to discuss key aspects of the lifestyle together to make sure you understand each other and your expectations. I would do this before entering any relationship. There seem to be a lot of differing opinions regarding the idea of Doms "training" subs. I use quotation marks because they are humans and not circus animals to be "trained." I prefer to call it mentoring. The thing I have told many people is that subs should only be mentored by other, more experienced subs, not Doms. Ever. Here's why: A Dom can teach you to be HIS perfect sub, but not necessarily the sub you feel you is perfectly YOU. Same thing with Doms only being mentored by more experienced Doms, but I believe very strongly that he can and should learn from subs - his own and others. And a lot of reading and talking and listening to people more experienced than we are. These are some of the ways we all learn - Doms and subs alike - about things like aftercare. Disclaimer: I have mentored subs 6 times in the past and every time have said "never again!" before going on to do it again, thinking that since I knew why it was such a bad idea I was the exception to the rule and therefore better equipped to be a good mentor. I was wrong. OK Longer--(winded) Johnny (BTW long time no talk, Jack, what's the deal? Maybe you should be Short Tongue Johnny??) To All Else: The banter within the parentheses is an inside joke to Not So Long Johnny--- I sort of know him. But not too much. He's probably a pain in the ass. ______________________________ But I beg to differ Mr. Johnny: It's part of the game for some subs and the occasional sexual maso-girl such as myself (and speaking only for myself) "Sub Training" is not really to be seen as regarding subs as dumb animals.. but as, in the act of submitting, people who are willing to be "taught" and all that shit. As I said multiple times on these form boards, I am not a "sub" per se.. Only a sexual masochist.. and in that role I deeply desire to be a sex object, some bitch to have her ass slapped-- and on-we-go-from-there. Long story short.. It's part of the game. it's what gets me wet.. It's what puts the frosting on my cake... Etc. (More inside jabs at the non-pirate who I quoted: "Never Again" ... sayeth the butt-head who doesn't want to seem human.) |
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Online now
ButterfliesAndCuffs(sub female)
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2 years ago •
Mar 7, 2022
Miki wrote: LongerJohnny wrote: JustAlice wrote: I find submissive training to be a really interesting subject. Who trains Doms? What qualifies a Dom to train a sub? Genuine questions.
I understand the notion of mentors for Doms, the more experienced guiding those of less experience but the idea of Doms training isn’t spoken about often. Submissive are trained in basic tasks such as positions. This is, by many, classed as training. Who trains Doms in aspects of their role such as, providing quality aftercare. This, to me, is much more complex than standing with hands on a wall. Maybe a good starting point with your friend would be to discuss key aspects of the lifestyle together to make sure you understand each other and your expectations. I would do this before entering any relationship. There seem to be a lot of differing opinions regarding the idea of Doms "training" subs. I use quotation marks because they are humans and not circus animals to be "trained." I prefer to call it mentoring. The thing I have told many people is that subs should only be mentored by other, more experienced subs, not Doms. Ever. Here's why: A Dom can teach you to be HIS perfect sub, but not necessarily the sub you feel you is perfectly YOU. Same thing with Doms only being mentored by more experienced Doms, but I believe very strongly that he can and should learn from subs - his own and others. And a lot of reading and talking and listening to people more experienced than we are. These are some of the ways we all learn - Doms and subs alike - about things like aftercare. Disclaimer: I have mentored subs 6 times in the past and every time have said "never again!" before going on to do it again, thinking that since I knew why it was such a bad idea I was the exception to the rule and therefore better equipped to be a good mentor. I was wrong. OK Longer--(winded) Johnny (BTW long time no talk, Jack, what's the deal? Maybe you should be Short Tongue Johnny??) To All Else: The banter within the parentheses is an inside joke to Not So Long Johnny--- I sort of know him. But not too much. He's probably a pain in the ass. ______________________________ But I beg to differ Mr. Johnny: It's part of the game for some subs and the occasional sexual maso-girl such as myself (and speaking only for myself) "Sub Training" is not really to be seen as regarding subs as dumb animals.. but as, in the act of submitting, people who are willing to be "taught" and all that shit. As I said multiple times on these form boards, I am not a "sub" per se.. Only a sexual masochist.. and in that role I deeply desire to be a sex object, some bitch to have her ass slapped-- and on-we-go-from-there. Long story short.. It's part of the game. it's what gets me wet.. It's what puts the frosting on my cake... Etc. (More inside jabs at the non-pirate who I quoted: "Never Again" ... sayeth the butt-head who doesn't want to seem human.) I apologize. I’ve kept LJ’s tongue busy lately and I also know a thing or two about what kind of pain in the ass he is (the very best kind). 
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LongerJohnny(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Mar 7, 2022
ButterfliesAndCuffs wrote: Miki wrote: OK Longer--(winded) Johnny (BTW long time no talk, Jack, what's the deal? Maybe you should be Short Tongue Johnny??) (More inside jabs at the non-pirate who I quoted: "Never Again" ... sayeth the butt-head who doesn't want to seem human.) I apologize. I’ve kept LJ’s tongue busy lately and I also know a thing or two about what kind of pain in the ass he is (the very best kind). Thank you baby. Always happy to spend some quality tongue time with you. 
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| Queen Meka(sub female) |
1 year ago •
May 25, 2022
I'm new to this whole lifestyle but one thing I know for sure is that some Dom's can teach how to be a sub because he or she knows what they want from a Sub. And in my opinion a Sub can teach a Dom that's willing to learn because he or she knows what they want from a Dom. I hope that made sense and I don't sound like weirdo.
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Zelia
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1 year ago •
May 25, 2022
I’ve seen nothing but damage come from relationships where Doms (M) mentored subs (F). I’m talking about online. The mentoring invariably involved tasks/pictures that were explicit in one way or another and exposed the sub and made her vulnerable, outside of a dynamic and without suitable care. They ended up seeking more than the relationship gave or the Dom was willing to give.
I’m sure there are pitfalls for Doms too but in my experience, once a sub is exposed, naked and vulnerable things move beyond mentoring. Of course mentoring ‘should’ not involve such levels of exposure but it’s often used as a means to elicit such interaction without the commitment of a dynamic. I’d avoid it at all costs! |
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