Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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2 years ago •
Apr 20, 2022
JustAlice wrote: Pick-up-play
(psst: They are for most people. I have never had anything done to me in pick-up play that I didn't "opt-in" for prior to the scene started. It really is a matter of semantics for some of us and saves layers of complications for some as well.)
Opt-in-play Are both of these ways of saying play outside of a committed dynamic? Are they not both the same? |
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Online now
Bunnie
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2 years ago •
Apr 22, 2022
Ok, so I reached out to a very trusted, much respected Person from my old community to ask the same thing I asked here, and their response was so awesome that I wanted to share an adapted version of it for anyone who may come across this thread in the future, seeking the same answers I was. Some of it is general, some of it perhaps more specific to me and the scene I’m negotiating. This has given U/s something to sit down with together and go through as a beginning step by step, to get the ball rolling. Hopefully it can provide that same opportunity for others also
To begin with, some homework: • Who are you playing with? • What is their experience in the scene? (Lived experience vs lurking in the background or living in fantasy land). • Have they done this before? • If so with who? • Who have been their play partners in the past? • Who are their referees? (Treat it like a job, you want the best person to do the hard things). • Where on the body will you be (….)? ie the fingers, hands, toes, feet, arms, legs, torso, buttocks, back, belly, breasts, neck, face, ears, head? clarification is important (this is where written consent/negotiation checklist/contract can come into it). ** now some bits often forgotten in negotiation...** 1) Who is going to pay any medical bills? if you get injured and cannot go to work... 2) Who is going to look after you? if you get injured... 3) What is the worst scenario? plan for it and if it does not go there, BONUS, if it does? you are prepared... 4) While the person who is (….) you, may or may not know what is going to happen, you should pre-prepare yourself as well... What kind of (…) will they be using? Do you know what force/technique is needed to (…)? 5) What does your aftercare look like? is it all fun and games with no responsibility if something goes wrong? I do not mean to make that statement to sound harsh, but that is the reality with many scenes... 6) If sex is not involved, write that into the consent negotiation contract and put it in a safe place... * If the person (Top or bottom) does not want to do the hard yards with you in preparing the negotiations, regarding the scene, ask yourself, do they have YOUR best interest at heart or do they just want a notch in their belt or feather in their cap? This is a perspective on how the beginning of negotiations and creating a safety checklist can look. Including a negotiation checklist in this, like the one shared on the other forum thread, Negotiation 101, is a great stepping stone towards creating your scene together. |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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2 years ago •
Apr 22, 2022
Bunnie wrote: • Who are their referees? Referees? 
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