Question about Collars and Dom/me

Question about Collars and Dom/me

JustGreenie{Lona Alofa} • May 26, 2022

I have a question for all Dom/me’s and also would love submissive thoughts also.

A little backstory to my question. I am attending a rather elaborate collaring ceremony this weekend, which I am truly excited for. I am very happy for the M/s dynamic that we will be celebrating. I know there are so many creative and different ways to do a collaring ceremony, from simple/intimate to full blown extravaganza, to each their own, but I have side tracked to the real question I am meaning to ask.

Dom/me’s do you also wear something or have something to show that you have a collared submissive?

I know for the ceremony I am going to, he will be sporting a new bracelet that also matches his submissive collar. So is this a common practice?

Re: Question about Collars and Dom/me

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • May 26, 2022

It's common - in my own experience, that is. I was married to my first two dominants, but in addition to the traditional wedding rings, both of them also wore symbols matching the ownership symbol I wore. One as a pendant, the other on a bracelet as you mentioned. Mr. Parker (although not my husband) also wears a Claddagh ring on his left ring finger that matches my collar (which is a boxed link platinum choker chain with a platinum Claddagh charm). A dominant wearing some matching symbol also seems common in our circle of personal friends as well.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • May 26, 2022

I'm sure it is done but I have never even heard of a Dom wearing anything to mirror the association between him and his sub akin to the collar that he puts on her. I have heard of Dommes doing so, so I wonder if maybe some Doms think that it equalizes the dynamic in a way that somehow decreases their domliness? Just speculation.
My sub B&C and I have actually talked about it before and we really love the idea. Nice to see that it is practiced by others.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • May 26, 2022

I've been in the lifestyle (in other words, out of the closet since 1997) and it's a very common practice amongst my own circle of real life friends and acquaintances and there's never been any mention among the dominants of it diminishing them or their control in any way.

Sir Don​(dom male) • May 26, 2022

The collar is a symbol that the Dom owns his Submissive..
If the Dom chooses to to wear something that is up to him. ( or her - Domme). But the collaring ceremony is much like a wedding. I would say it is pertinent to the dynamic.. personal choice.
That's my 2 cents

FlitterFly​(sub female) • May 26, 2022

From what I personally gather, some Doms do like to wear a pendent or a ring.
A bracelet is also something as equally nice.
This could be done for the sub herself, as a gesture to her.
Or this could be a symble that any such Dom could wear.
Such as the diferent symbles that represents being A Dom, A Sub, A Swich, Polly, and so forth.
Also could even be given as a gift from the sub to the Dom, Master, Etc.

Bunnie • May 27, 2022

Hi @Green,

Good question

It really (obviously) depends on the individuals. I know of Dominants who wear a ring that symbolises their Household. If they have their slaves branded, the ring is of the same symbol that represents the whole House.

Within the Rope community there are some who wear a rope/string bracelet on a specific wrist to signify that they’re a Rigger, and their bunny wears the same on the opposite wrist.

As mentioned with the House symbol, there can be insignia on anything… a lighter, a necklace pendant, a knife, a crop/flogger/whip handle.

As for it being the equivalent of a “collar,” that’s not something I have seen… as in a Dominant simply wearing a “matching His and hers” type getup. I don’t know of anyone who would approach it from that aspect.

p.s How exciting! I hope it’s a wonderful ceremony

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • May 27, 2022

You may not *personally* know any dominant who wears a symbol in honor of their submissive, but the OP has mentioned that the dominant in the case she speaks of will be wearing one, and my two husbands (dominants) wore one as well - as does Mr. Parker.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • May 27, 2022

Hi there again, Bunnie. I'm returning to this comment of yours because I didn't convey my full distaste for your wording last night when I first read it. Your referring to a dominant as never wearing such a "get up" smacks of snide derision, distaste and disbelief even on my third reading of your comment. Did you intend that comment to be dismissive and snide or did I misinterpret your intent?

Ingénue{VK} • May 27, 2022

Jewellery of various kinds for Dominants and submissives is something I have seen couples do. As others have said, it's individual choice, like whether to wear a wedding band or not.

Another lovely symbol of commitment in addition to matching themed jewellery is tattoos. Not my thing personally but I very much like it as a creative and confident expression of dynamic.

I've really enjoyed the sharing of ideas about celebration of dynamic in your thread, Green, I hope you enjoy the ceremony!