Permission to cum

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jun 20, 2022

I get a strong feeling that the OP may be embracing what she thinks is the right thing to do in the relationship, but they are long distance and she is young and lacking experience. Sometimes this allows an individual to be susceptible to abuse, even if unintended. Take out all the other childish antics and wanna-be reasons for orgasm control, if it's all the time it can lead to orgasm issues - as in hard to actually have without breaking the pre-conditioning. Edging and orgasm play is beneficial but as I'mMe indicates there are those who have suffered from too much and poorly managed. Especially in a long distance relationship. That is just someone getting all power happy on controlling a young submissive.

Limited orgasm control can be fun and rewarding if utilized in a responsible fashion. I'd recommend the OP to reconsider how much authority she grants.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female) • Jun 20, 2022

As far as I can see the word never wasn’t used. She says that “it’s usually a no”. We have no way of gauging what usually actually is. Is that asking 3 times a day and being granted one every other day? Maybe it’s once a week? I just don’t feel like there is nearly enough information to decide that this type of denial is or isn’t healthy. That’s her decision, not yours and not mine.

SirTOuTOO​(dom male){~ 2u2 ~} • Jun 21, 2022

.
- Personally,... Regardless of ~remote / long distance or local - I only use the DENIAL of orgasm for a short intense period,... prior to an arranged meet / session.
- So,... There's no teasing of 'suggestions' from the sub. (She's already on fire & willing to comply - limits respected = in order to 'explode' )
- And in those first few moments of meeting - the look, the touch, the smell of each other, means,... she's already on the 'edge'.
.
2u2
( women can cum repeatedly to the point of approaching 'trembling exhaustion ~ so on occasion, make use of this 'attribute',.... and she might not BEG to cum so quickly in future )
.

TheHappyDom • Jun 21, 2022

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

A great comic once said that you have to know your audience so your jokes will not bomb.
The same thing can be said about knowing your submissive.

Should I use it?
For how long?
What do I want to achieve with it?
Is it the best thing for both of us?

There are maybe a couple more questions that a Dom should ask himself.
Did not want the list to be to long.

I'mME • Jun 26, 2022

I am not against orgasm control. I was just putting a word of caution out. I was edging before I ever found BDSM. I would go a couple years before I indulged with someone, the right someone. Explosive is not even the word.

DaddyXX • Jun 26, 2022

Permission to Cum* can be ..or is..a large part of 'Orgasm Control /Denial' (of either sex)..when does one become a necessary part of the other? Always? OR..not nescessarily?

LatexHer​(dom male) • Jun 29, 2022

Long-distance relationships rarely work out for obvious reasons. Just saying!

I'mME • Jun 30, 2022

Orgasm control, denial, CoC, ruin, are kinks, or part of one kink. In the wrong hands it can have consequences.

I don't believe that they have to coexist together. Negotiations are very important, for me this is not even something that I would consider at the beginning of a dynamic.

tsi​(sub female) • Jun 30, 2022

Everyone is different . What seems to be obvious reason for you might not be for others . I am a believer that hearts pick people and not places . Long distance is harder yes but it’s worth it for the right person . Maybe you just haven’t found that person!

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Jun 30, 2022

Hey you came back! So how did it go? If you don’t mind sharing of course.