How best to reply (sub female)

How best to reply (sub female)

Snowangell​(sub female) • Aug 16, 2022

Hi,

I am a complete newbie to being on one of these sites and I’m wondering the proper etiquette on responding to people who message. Is it normal to address them as Sir or another appropriate term right from the start. I don’t want to sound like I don’t know what I’m doing, lol.

obsequiae​(dom male) • Aug 16, 2022

Some submissives do address any dominant they cross paths with as Sir/Miss, but you being a complete novice something you should be aware of is that can be an easy thread to pull on for those on the other side of the slash with ill intent to pull on, they'll try and use you showing that slight bit of deference to make more out of the interaction than it is in a very premature fashion. It's fine if you prefer to do so, but definitely keep this in mind, that anyone trying to take advantage of that show of deference and respect is a major red flag.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Aug 16, 2022

No you not need to (nor should you in my opinion) respond by addressing them as Sir. Also please be aware that just because you’re a sub, you do not need to respond to every Dom that sends you a message. It can get very overwhelming trying to respond to each and every message when you’re new. Some Doms and even other subs say that’s rude, but I don’t think it’s any more rude than not picking up the phone when it’s an unknown caller.

obsequiae​(dom male) • Aug 17, 2022

Seconding this. You are not obligated to reply to any message you don't wish to.

MasterKGray​(dom male) • Aug 17, 2022

obsequiae is correct! While it is an ego boost to receive deference from the beginning, I have never taken advantage or pulled the string as he mentioned. If there is a mutual respect and further connection, I will pursue, but not because a sub showed deference from the start. In my experience, it should begin with open communication. If you do not have an open and honest line of communication, then cut the thread and leave. And don't let them force you into anything you're not ready for. If you feel uncomfortable, tell them to stop. If they do not, leave.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Aug 17, 2022

Remember, you ate *a* sub, not *THEIR* sub.

Treated all interactions like you are meeting them at a bar. What you would accept/not accept in behavior and treatment, you do in this world.

trixietrixster​(sub female) • Aug 17, 2022

Personally, absolutely not. Someone needs to earn you calling them Sir/Master/Daddy. It's not something that happens overnite, there is trust and communication involved. If their profile, or lack of one, is not appealing, it's not uncommon to reply with a no thank you, or, even not at all. Being submissive doesn't mean being submissive to everyone. In my experience, when the time is rite to address them with a title, it will just happen organically as you continue growing together ...

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Aug 17, 2022

Hmmm. How about Sire? Or Oligarch? Nah, those don't work. You do you! I agree with most of the comments so far. If you feel like calling someone "Sir" or "Ma'am" there is no harm in it. If you don't feel comfortable in that, then don't. So just politely respond in the manner you feel suits the moment. In many cases, just use their nickname until something organically evolves. Heck, I'm an old wolf so if you were to call me sir in any fashion, I'd assume it was just a polite deference to age, not anything else. Or if you referred to any of the elder females as Ma'am, I wouldn't assume you were being anything other than respectful.

Satindragon • Aug 17, 2022

Depending on how you were raised, responding with a Sir or Ma’am May just come natural. However there are those here who are overbearing and would take advantage of your show of respect.

Please keep in mind it is not necessary to respond to every email. Take your time and educate yourself in the lifestyle. The Submissive Guide is a great website to get acquainted with the lifestyle.

There will be some who try and get you to move over to another way of messaging. Please do not do this right away. If you are here and someone gets out of hand they can be reported and dealt with. But if you leave the site you are on your own.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Aug 17, 2022

Ok ...my two cent..

As bnc ( butterflyandcuffs )stated no u dont have to ( nor should you) I So agree with it.

When and if u decide to reply to any one of this messages you receive. I suggestion would to first read their profile and then look toward the bottom and see if they have a blog or replied to any forums . Them go read them ( their blogs and the whole forum that they replied to. This will help you get a feel of who they are . And how they act towards others and others react to them. Then go back to thier message and look how it was wrote , was it polite, do they mention anything that you wrote in ur blog . And then go about being polite back if they were .

Now as far as being a newbie. There are many good blogs on here that have some good information .and do you research on things a very good site for information is the * https://submissiveguide.com/ * I would start there. It will help you out I think.
Go slow and be safe