How best to reply (sub female)

Hi there!

I don't have a ton of experience in the actual nitty gritty of D/s, but I do have quite a bit of experience with greetings. My first piece of advice is do not feel obligated to reply to every single message that is sent to you! I know as a new sub, being young and untrained, you can receive TONS of messages. It can be really draining (trust me, I know). I especially would not respond to those who are being disrespectful right off the bat.

Every person has a different approach, and you have to figure out what kind of approach you like. I have found that not replying to messages that are overtly sexual has been a LIFESAVER. No dominant who cares enough to get to know you will be talking about what he wants to do with you or to you without at least knowing something about you. However, don't mistake this for them outlining some of their kinks. Some Dom's do this as a way to see if the two of you will be compatible or not!

Another thing, don't be afraid of not being experienced. Any worthwhile Dom will not care, and if anything will take more time with you as they have been made aware of the fact that you don't have experience. HOWEVER, there will be some fake Dominants who will try to take advantage you. They will try to boss you around and claim ownership from the get go. DO NOT allow this. Keep this in mind... just being a sub does not mean that you are *their* sub. Them being a "Dominant" does not make them *your* Dominant.

As to how to greet them, that is up to personal preference. It's just another thing you have to figure out unfortunately. When I first started out, I called every Dominant I came in contact with Sir. However, after awhile I realized it made me uncomfortable to be calling a complete stranger such a thing. It felt like I was already handing myself over, and I just didn't like how it felt. So I stopped. I just recently have started up again, but only to those who I deem worthy. I always check out their profile, take a look at some of their forum replies (if they have them), and really taking into account in to how they're approaching me. Like I stated earlier, horny messages are a no go for me. Other messages I do not respond to are demanding ones. Any message that has someone trying to control you from the get go is a *no no*. I expect respect when someone is greeting me, just as they would. I respond best to courteous messages (i.e. Hey KinkyKey! I took a look at your profile and I really like how bubbly and honest you are! From your bio and your BDSM checklist it seems like we could be compatible! Hope to hear from you.)

One last paragraph for my essay Trust. Your. Gut. If you are talking to someone and they are giving you weird vibes, take a step back. Reach out to a friend and ask their opinion. Maybe even a couple friends. You can respect theirs and yours privacy while also making sure that you are taking part in a safe conversation. Never EVER be scared to reach out! There are plenty of nice people on here willing to lend a hand, as you can see from the replies on here.

Don't forget that you're a person worthy of respect too. Being a submissive makes you no less than a Dominant. Both roles are things to be cherished and nurtured, regardless of what position they hold

Feel free to message me if you have any more questions! I'd love to be able to help you on your journey.

Good luck!