Taramafor(sub male) |
6 years ago •
Mar 18, 2018
Leading by example
6 years ago •
Mar 18, 2018
Taramafor(sub male) • Mar 18, 2018
So yea, sometimes you just got to "Show them how to handle your leash" with someone that doesn't even have a clue. In my case this person didn't even have a clue about BDSM or D/s.
Step 1: Making it about them. Example: You can yank my leash at any time and I'll be able to focus my full attention on you and not even misbehave for a bit even if I'm a brat in general. This would of course come after "Being there for them in general". Step 2: Making it about us. Example: Putting a gag in my mouth might shut me up, which is both something BDSM like and take some pressure off you. Thus leading to both getting what we want. In this case I do have a habit of "talking about concerns" a lot. Seriously, gag me. It's for my own good. Step 3: Making it about you. Example: I've worked really hard to make you happy and would like to practice how to handle me. This can be a tricky one but it's best to start small and work from the ground up. Randomly handing them to leash and seeing what they even do with it/you can be a good start. If you "just leave it up to the dom alone" they're going to be worried about looking after you. SHOW them how to do that so they can be less concerned and you get looked after. Cons: The sub has to lead at first. Pros: The dom ends up leading the sub. Every time there is a "new way to be handled" I find it's always best to practice it. At first it will happen by "leading yourself". Simply make it know you want the other to take the initiative later on. Sooner or later it becomes more "instinctive". A habit or an impulse. With every "new thing" try to practice together. Even if someone sucks at ideas the simple act of providing ideas can give another ideas of their own. A more simple thing could be being ordered to bed every night, which somehow ended up happening in my case. Wasn't even planned. It might seem like a small thing but being consistent with that and someone going "Bed. Now." gets one into the habit of giving orders in general. Just, you know, try to have a decent bed time for that. Other things can be added in, like wherever you should sleep naked or not or if you can "relieve" yourself. Something like that can be "off putting" at first, but in the end it came down to a case of "Making each other happy". Thus, no longer off putting at all and other things worked on. My owner didn't even want to control every aspect of my life at first. Now she's... controlling every aspect of my life. Without me even leading her. Ha! |
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