Scammers, Scumbags and Succubus

Scammers, Scumbags and Succubus

LatexHer​(dom male) • Dec 16, 2022

I have proudly been a Dominant Dude for decades! Had some wonderful relationships and even marriages during this wonderful life as well. Today I wonder what is wrong with some of the people who frequent this and other sites - you know those who WASTE our precious time while lying to themselves or living in a personal fantasy.
I will channel this message to only women, as I am straight as an arrow!

Speaking only to those "ladies" who often open an account only to send some emails to Dominant me as myself, only to CHICKEN OUT and then close their accounts!
What is wrong with you, do you even know what you want? Are you afraid to divulge your innermost desires, wants, and sexual needs? Perhaps maybe you are children using your mother's computer or tablet - then please BE GONE WITH YOU!

Could it be that you are a dude pretending to be a woman in your guise? Maybe you are just a scumbag scammer who wishes to find a mark - while making real people miserable with your lies?

Well all - yes I am venting a bit as after almost 50 yrs of loving the lifestyle, helping many build their dream dungeons, enjoying the fabulous gifts which only a woman can provide to a man, and helping some find their niche while aiding others to decide which path to choose, I too am frustrated with the scammers, scumbags, and succubus who frequent our communities

Steellover​(sub male) • Dec 17, 2022

I have experienced plenty of the same from the submissive side, believe me. There are a lot of flakes out there. I've never approached anyone on this particular site as far as a potential hookup/date, (so I can't speak to your experience with The CAGE) but on other sites, yeah, it could get pretty bad. A lot of responses along the lines of "Hello there Slave! Check out my profile on xxxdatingfetishsite.com! I won't be checking back here."

Or, sometimes after three or four generic-response e-mails, it's "I need tribute, slave, before I can meet with you, just to be sure you are honest and sincere about wanting to be with me; so send paypal/bitcoin/etc to the following account! Do it now slave!"

You may not be what I personally am looking for (I'm seeking woman) but at least...you seem real to me! Again, I can't speak to your experience on this site. It's my understanding that the Cage really tries to weed out the scammers/bots. Whereas other sites don't seem to care as much, as long as they get revenue, they don't care how many of their members are real people trying to find a partner.

Bette83​(sub female) • Dec 17, 2022

I’ve had some disheartening interactions with people, claiming to be Doms, masters. I am on here because I’m committed to being the best sub. I live to serve and to find out that people aren’t speaking truth to how into they are to this community pisses me off are there any real people on here so I’m forever frustrated
Bette83

SassyinCali​(sub female) • Dec 19, 2022

This is an issue across the board, I think.

I have had conversations with "Doms" where they push hard for me to go to another app with them. It has to be now and they are very aggressive. When I do not immediately fall in line, they have disappeared. Yes, including deleting or pausing their account.

I have also had longer term correspondence with some where there seems to be a great connection. But there is always an excuse why they can't share a pic or do a call or something. I have heard several repeat excuses. Such as their phone camera is broken. Or their phone is having issues and lost all pics. The one I have heard the most is that it is a "control" thing and that is why they can't share a simple face pic after we have been talking for a few weeks. They want one of me and then after I send it they say they won't send one yet as it can't be when I have asked for it. Yes, I have heard this one at least four times now. They want to keep interacting, but they want me to do it without even knowing if they have a nose on their face. I no longer am willing to be the first to send a pic.

Then there are the "Doms" that have ghosted me. One after months of daily interaction. If we are in an active conversation, I will tell them if I do not think it is a fit. It is shocking to me how many say they are Doms, but are not adult enough to be honest.

I try to learn from each encounter and have my guard up a bit more.

LordofPain56 • Dec 20, 2022

Oh, is that the real reason they don't respond? And all this time I thought it was because they read my profile and thought I was too mean.... hehe.

B L O N D I E​(sub female) • Dec 20, 2022

It isn't because of that.

Doogs​(switch male) • Dec 20, 2022

I have been hanging around sites like this for a number of years and have noticed some patterns:-
People that want you to go to another site or email etc are scammers wanting your money ...... Run
People that want some sort of verification are scammers ...... RUN

The one you communicate with and then all of a sudden stop communicating or disappear are either getting there rocks off or they are searching for something that they aren't sure they deeply want.
For example say I have an interest on trying same sex, but have never been exposed to it before. Then to opportunity pops up to go head first into hooking up, because they still are not 100% sure if that's what they want they hide either by not communicating or closing their account

Defender​(dom male) • Dec 20, 2022

Most of us have experienced it, on both sides of the slash.

I am a stoic by nature, so I take it philosophically.

But I understand that having a good rant about peoples' behaviour can be a release, and sometimes it is what you need.

Unfortunately, it won't change anything.

My advice?

"Keep calm and carry on....."

Bunnie • Dec 22, 2022

I feel like I arrived here a little naive at how easy I believed it would be to find my “One.” I thought that just because I had finally figured out that I wasn’t vanilla and had found “my people,” everything would fall into place and I’d be living my dream life within at least the year! (Because you know… I didn’t want to rush lol).

Whilst I’ve been very lucky in the interactions I’ve had with people, it’s taken quite some time to find myself here in a place of actually living this as a way of life 24/7.

What I have learned about the online world though, is that people are people no matter where we go… there are “good ones” and there are “bad ones.” However, most, I believe are simply fumbling around in the dark trying to find what feels right. There is no manual on how to life/relationship well, and from what I’ve observed and definitely speaking for myself, we kind of mostly suck at it. Throw in a mix of toys and emotions and potentially deeper connection than we’ve ever striven for, and it gets messy pretty fast.
It’s impossible for me to not believe in the fundamental goodness of people… even those who think their only way to get ahead in life is to take advantage of others. All I can think is how horrible it must feel to think that that’s how one needs to survive in life. How lonely that must be.
Whatever someone’s reasons for doing what they do, only they will truly know.

My motto is, don’t let people make you become someone you’re not, which includes becoming bitter at unfair treatment. We always get to choose who we are.

As @Defender so perfectly said, “keep calm and carry on.”

I'mME • Jan 4, 2023

Bunnie,

I am someone who believes in the idea that every day we wake up, is yet another day we can choose if we will deal with just that day with a smile or a frown.

I am a flawed as the next however I do have to say that people online will often go pass the point of where they would if they were standing face to face.

So I will carry on, but I will stand up against those who would change my words, fuck with my head, play gatekeeper, etc.

Even though I am an optimist and someone who has a funny ready 99% of the day does not mean that I will let everything go rolling off my back.