DominusRex(dom male)
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1 year ago •
Feb 4, 2023
Great input! Solace wrote: DominusRex, No you did not give that impression and frankly are spot on. Brats can and often will run circles around a Dom trying to divvy out physical punishments from a far, i.e. kneeling on rice. Its far more effective to withdraw rewards as you say, but for online dynamics these are often based around some form of communication as that is what the Dominant has direct power over. Communication and attention is what both parties receive from an online dynamic. Sexting is a great example, the amount of time that can be lavished on a sub can be significant and its disappearance can leave a noticeable crater in daily communications. Sexting is an easy example because its likely something the majority of dynamics have in common, but it could also be something like a weekly book review together or whatever verbal game or activity a dynamic has set up and is valued.
Obviously this is largely for the subs that do not partake in punishments of their own volition. For subs who will do punishments I instruct them, kneeling on rice, cold showers, writing lines, edging, holding a coin against the wall with their forehead for X minutes, counting grains of rice, bland food, too spicy food, all are very good ones. You can also buy the sub a simple bracelet they can wear when they are in the Dom's good graces and only then. Having pictures taken and sent to the Dom demonstrating these actions are being done / have been done is also important. For the most extreme girls who simply won't listen, I remind them the dynamic is consensual for both parties. If she's not interested in obeying, I don't have to be interested in giving commands. An obvious threat to the dynamic, and if the sub cares about it she needs stop toeing the line. If a sub consistently isn't listening they either aren't taking the dynamic seriously or its a bad match. After a certain point of trying to make things work the endeavor is fruitless. Thank you for this. Your notes greatly expanded, and improved upon, what I was attempting to convey. I was hoping that someone would build upon it in a meaningful way as you have done. Communities like this are so much more effective and helpful when they are collaborative rather than combative. |
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Online now
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DominusRex(dom male)
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1 year ago •
Feb 4, 2023
Re: Online only experience?
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No my post wasn’t pointed at anyone about ghosting,  was just saying I had a previous dom who used this as a form of punishment and I personally found it to be a little damaging. But other subs might be different to me. As for online only, I did at first think it could be a possibility but the more I’m finding out about myself as a sub the more I see that no it wouldn’t work, for me, as like I said above I need to get the punishments/funishment in person (I’ve only been in the lifestyle 2 years so still learning etc)[/quote]
Thank you for taking the time to respond and for clarifying. I'm very sorry you experienced this in the past. In my opinion, that is emotionally abusive behavior and an attempt to control in a non-consensual way. It also probably bears repeating that all rewards and punishments need to be discussed beforehand and agreed to in a successful power exchange dynamic. I'm glad you have found your One. Congratulations! |
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GregW(dom male)
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1 year ago •
Feb 11, 2023
I am a naïve new comer to this, but perhaps the punishment is for the brat to write an essay about why she wants the dynamic. It seems that it will remind her what she would miss if it ended or that it will convince her that she doesn't really want it after all.
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SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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1 year ago •
Feb 12, 2023
Solace wrote: For the most extreme girls who simply won't listen, I remind them the dynamic is consensual for both parties. If she's not interested in obeying, I don't have to be interested in giving commands. An obvious threat to the dynamic, and if the sub cares about it she needs stop toeing the line. If a sub consistently isn't listening they either aren't taking the dynamic seriously or its a bad match. After a certain point of trying to make things work the endeavor is fruitless.
I've been watching this thread on and off and have been reluctant to comment but this caught my eye. ALL dynamics take trust, but in my belief, a dynamic with a Brat takes the most trust...on the part of the Brat. I would advise AGAINST involving any sexual components in the dynamic UNTIL a deep friendship and loyalty has developed. Brats typically come from childhood situations that were riff with inconsistency and so Brats have learned not to trust easily. They WANT to, but at each stage of growing closeness through slow progressive stages, the inner battle cycles through (predictably): Resistance, fear, vulnerability, fear, trust. At first, each feeling is loud and difficult to communicate but EVENTUALLY, as the consistency is proven on the part of the Dom, those feelings become easier to communicate (it's extremely hard to openly admit being afraid of being afraid of being vulnerable...no, I didn't studder). Once you get to the stage of being able to admit to those feelings, you will know the Brat well enough that you will know what to do. The question is, why get into a dynamic with a Brat if you are going to punish them for being exactly the person you got into a dynamic with, and FOR? Love them or hate them but please, don't try and change them. They will change for you, organicly, as they learn that trusting you with their vulnerability is safe to do. |
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