dollMaker(dom male)
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11 months ago •
May 17, 2023
I'mME wrote: dollMaker wrote: Master is a difficult thing to determine, and the opinions on this are going to be varied. Anyone can be called master by their sub, but that does not make them a master, and a dom can have a slave who calls them master, but again that does make them a master, but simply a dominant who is given that title by their slave. Not all slaves are in M/s dynamics, even though they may be involved with someone who is a master.
To my mind, a master is someone who has a formal recognition by their peers and has been acknowledged by those peers to be of a high standard in activity skill, dynamic ethics, community work, self control, In away they have been like an apprentice in a traditional craft setting (black smith, stone mason, carpenter etc) who has been judged worthy of no longer being an apprentice, journeyman and has moved onto the very highest level of ability to be called a master craftsperson. The environment for this to occur tend to be more old guard/formal, and in particular leather communities, whether queer or straight - though historically these communities were mostly made up of gay men, and others in the lgbtq+ community, and more recently straight non queer people. A leather person who has reached that level will have leathers given to them by the community, patches to reflect awards and a cap, which is often a leather muir cap. If someone claims to be a master in the leather community, it can be sussed out relatively easily whether they are or are not. However outside of leather communities figuring out if someone is a master is more difficult, because there is a lack of formal community structures (as found in leather), so frankly anyone can call themselves a master, as they can a dominant, and this applies to in person as much as online. I would suggest interviewing them in a formal way, asking for references from previous submissives/slaves, asking about the classes/workshops they attend, any clubs/dungeons they are a member of (if so ask about them) and if those things check out, then take it very slowly, get to know them over a prolonged time, don't accept a collar too quickly. Its like getting to know anyone in any context it takes time and patience. There will be those that will state master is a headspace, and to a degree I think that's valid, but without all the things, time and experience bring, and to a high level I don't think they are an actual master, but just a dominant with aspirations. Anyone new to the kink world should not be claiming any such thing, even if that is an aspiration - time needs to be served. I wonder why you are seeking a master - is it that you identify as a slave or is it that you feel it reflects an experienced dominant? Regarding being financially secure, life happens and everyone in the kink scene, no matter how they identify can find themselves out of work, struggling etc, that does not to my mind reflect whether they are or are not who they say they are. Hate to say it but that feels like believing a trope that all 'masters' are successful wealthy people with no mental health issues, disability etc. Being frank that is BS and fantasy perfection. The kink scene is full of all sorts of people, wonderful/valid people, and many are neither wealthy, nor free of struggles, or physical/mental health issues, their value as human beings should never be measured in that way. dollMaker, It appears that you aren't familiar with the OP yet. I still haven't decided whether they are joking, as in, idk the word, something like this, making sport of people if that makes sense ? I try to temper that part of me recognizing that people come from different backgrounds, everyone doesn't communicate the same, and last but not least, many people have no self awareness. I am aware, to a degree that might be so. The reply is for the op, and anyone else who might benefit from my thoughts, with the latter in mind I felt it worth contributing to the thread. |
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Online now
I'mME
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11 months ago •
May 17, 2023
dollMaker wrote: I'mME wrote: dollMaker wrote: Master is a difficult thing to determine, and the opinions on this are going to be varied. Anyone can be called master by their sub, but that does not make them a master, and a dom can have a slave who calls them master, but again that does make them a master, but simply a dominant who is given that title by their slave. Not all slaves are in M/s dynamics, even though they may be involved with someone who is a master.
To my mind, a master is someone who has a formal recognition by their peers and has been acknowledged by those peers to be of a high standard in activity skill, dynamic ethics, community work, self control, In away they have been like an apprentice in a traditional craft setting (black smith, stone mason, carpenter etc) who has been judged worthy of no longer being an apprentice, journeyman and has moved onto the very highest level of ability to be called a master craftsperson. The environment for this to occur tend to be more old guard/formal, and in particular leather communities, whether queer or straight - though historically these communities were mostly made up of gay men, and others in the lgbtq+ community, and more recently straight non queer people. A leather person who has reached that level will have leathers given to them by the community, patches to reflect awards and a cap, which is often a leather muir cap. If someone claims to be a master in the leather community, it can be sussed out relatively easily whether they are or are not. However outside of leather communities figuring out if someone is a master is more difficult, because there is a lack of formal community structures (as found in leather), so frankly anyone can call themselves a master, as they can a dominant, and this applies to in person as much as online. I would suggest interviewing them in a formal way, asking for references from previous submissives/slaves, asking about the classes/workshops they attend, any clubs/dungeons they are a member of (if so ask about them) and if those things check out, then take it very slowly, get to know them over a prolonged time, don't accept a collar too quickly. Its like getting to know anyone in any context it takes time and patience. There will be those that will state master is a headspace, and to a degree I think that's valid, but without all the things, time and experience bring, and to a high level I don't think they are an actual master, but just a dominant with aspirations. Anyone new to the kink world should not be claiming any such thing, even if that is an aspiration - time needs to be served. I wonder why you are seeking a master - is it that you identify as a slave or is it that you feel it reflects an experienced dominant? Regarding being financially secure, life happens and everyone in the kink scene, no matter how they identify can find themselves out of work, struggling etc, that does not to my mind reflect whether they are or are not who they say they are. Hate to say it but that feels like believing a trope that all 'masters' are successful wealthy people with no mental health issues, disability etc. Being frank that is BS and fantasy perfection. The kink scene is full of all sorts of people, wonderful/valid people, and many are neither wealthy, nor free of struggles, or physical/mental health issues, their value as human beings should never be measured in that way. dollMaker, It appears that you aren't familiar with the OP yet. I still haven't decided whether they are joking, as in, idk the word, something like this, making sport of people if that makes sense ? I try to temper that part of me recognizing that people come from different backgrounds, everyone doesn't communicate the same, and last but not least, many people have no self awareness. I am aware, to a degree that might be so. The reply is for the op, and anyone else who might benefit from my thoughts, with the latter in mind I felt it worth contributing to the thread. dollMaker, My comment was not written to be derogatory towards you. |
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Vint(masochist female)
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11 months ago •
May 17, 2023
ImMe, you missed those two little key words โat least.โ Although there was a typo and it reads โa least.โ
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| Slavehandler(dom male) |
11 months ago •
May 18, 2023
Re: Masters Real wrote: How do you tell a real Master from a fake Master? Are all real Masterโs financially secure?
Clear communication. Clear goal. Clear idea. Listens. He asks and keeps asking to make sure you know you want XYZ (as there are plenty of fake submissives and slaves too) and someone experienced will be meticulous in being too fast. An experienced master would also know the emotional responsibility of being a master. That means they see the power and damage they can easily do if they take advantage, so from personal experience I would take it very slow to protect the slave and make sure they are gradually introduced into things. Unless they show they are experienced in which I would ask about their experience, rights, wrongs, pros, cons, what they want and need etc. I think a lot of masters is under the impression that their slave has no personality or opinion, although that can be the case or what happens over a period of time I think it is important to always ask. That doesn't mean the master is not dominant or a master, it just means they aren't assholes. |
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| Joyy(sub female) |
11 months ago •
May 19, 2023
ewieya wrote: You know that feeling that you get when someone says something or does something that doesn't feel right to you? That little tug that starts some questions in your mind? That feeling is your evidence that a red flag has just popped up.
If the initial tug doesn't tell you it's a red flag, the swimming questions in your mind later will do it. It seems like humans often table red flags for a while before dealing with them. And some of us are inclined to bury the flag and succeeding flags until the relationship is over and then look back and see all of the flags at once! Red flags like the ones I'm talking about are not a Master thing. They are a human thing. There may be things that relate specifically to kink knowledge and such, but I think generally you'll want to look out for human things - like someone who doesn't treat you with respect. As for financial security, I think that is something that you have to determine for yourself - decide, is this something I need in a Master? I don't have a formed opinion on whether or not all Dom-types seeking submissive-types should already be secure financially. Wishing you the best on your journey! Well said. |
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I'mME
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11 months ago •
May 19, 2023
Vint wrote: ImMe, you missed those two little key words โat least.โ Although there was a typo and it reads โa least.โ
Vint, I caught that. Those words don't have any bearing on what I wrote. |
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Vint(masochist female)
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11 months ago •
May 19, 2023
I'mME wrote: Vint wrote: ImMe, you missed those two little key words โat least.โ Although there was a typo and it reads โa least.โ
Vint, I caught that. Those words don't have any bearing on what I wrote. Ah, well we donโt all have the gift of clarity of expression! |
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cherilynn(sub female)
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11 months ago •
May 20, 2023
dollMaker wrote: Master is a difficult thing to determine, and the opinions on this are going to be varied. Anyone can be called master by their sub, but that does not make them a master, and a dom can have a slave who calls them master, but again that does make them a master, but simply a dominant who is given that title by their slave. Not all slaves are in M/s dynamics, even though they may be involved with someone who is a master.
To my mind, a master is someone who has a formal recognition by their peers and has been acknowledged by those peers to be of a high standard in activity skill, dynamic ethics, community work, self control, In away they have been like an apprentice in a traditional craft setting (black smith, stone mason, carpenter etc) who has been judged worthy of no longer being an apprentice, journeyman and has moved onto the very highest level of ability to be called a master craftsperson. The environment for this to occur tend to be more old guard/formal, and in particular leather communities, whether queer or straight - though historically these communities were mostly made up of gay men, and others in the lgbtq+ community, and more recently straight non queer people. A leather person who has reached that level will have leathers given to them by the community, patches to reflect awards and a cap, which is often a leather muir cap. If someone claims to be a master in the leather community, it can be sussed out relatively easily whether they are or are not. However outside of leather communities figuring out if someone is a master is more difficult, because there is a lack of formal community structures (as found in leather), so frankly anyone can call themselves a master, as they can a dominant, and this applies to in person as much as online. I would suggest interviewing them in a formal way, asking for references from previous submissives/slaves, asking about the classes/workshops they attend, any clubs/dungeons they are a member of (if so ask about them) and if those things check out, then take it very slowly, get to know them over a prolonged time, don't accept a collar too quickly. Its like getting to know anyone in any context it takes time and patience. There will be those that will state master is a headspace, and to a degree I think that's valid, but without all the things, time and experience bring, and to a high level I don't think they are an actual master, but just a dominant with aspirations. Anyone new to the kink world should not be claiming any such thing, even if that is an aspiration - time needs to be served. I wonder why you are seeking a master - is it that you identify as a slave or is it that you feel it reflects an experienced dominant? Regarding being financially secure, life happens and everyone in the kink scene, no matter how they identify can find themselves out of work, struggling etc, that does not to my mind reflect whether they are or are not who they say they are. Hate to say it but that feels like believing a trope that all 'masters' are successful wealthy people with no mental health issues, disability etc. Being frank that is BS and fantasy perfection. The kink scene is full of all sorts of people, wonderful/valid people, and many are neither wealthy, nor free of struggles, or physical/mental health issues, their value as human beings should never be measured in that way. Excellent description of a Master! |
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sexycurves(switch female)
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10 months ago •
May 21, 2023
How I can tell a fake person regardless of their title name is through conversation, questions, and consistency.
Follow your instincts, your gut feelings as they are an excellent guide. As for being financially secure, there's people who are in this position, but there's also people who are not. To assume a master must be financially secure is, in my opinion, wrong. It may be that it's a requirement for you, and that's fine, but to be of the mind that all masters are financially secure... I'm being general with my answer as your question was how do you tell a fake master from a real master. I just took out the master from the question, because I don't have a clear idea of what a master is (yet). |
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I'mME
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10 months ago •
May 21, 2023
Vint wrote: I'mME wrote: Vint wrote: ImMe, you missed those two little key words โat least.โ Although there was a typo and it reads โa least.โ
Vint, I caught that. Those words don't have any bearing on what I wrote. Ah, well we donโt all have the gift of clarity of expression! Vint, You pointed out a typo. I recognized it was a typo, that's why I said so in my comment , and it would not have made any difference. No need for your sarcasm . |
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