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What is “the norm”?

Bunnie
1 month ago • Nov 13, 2024
Bunnie • Nov 13, 2024
Bishop wrote:
I think at times, our fantasies and masturbation sessions are avenues that we use to accept our deeper selves. What if a person likes to degrade and humiliate his partner, enjoys intense rough sex, and is an emotional sadist…wait, that’s me!! Seriously, though…for me, engaging in those things is my way of letting the other person see the darker, deeper parts of me and fantasizing about doing those things helps me to integrate my darker self to my kind and caring side. But maybe I’m overthinking it?


A beautiful explanation 💕 thank you
I'mME
4 weeks ago • Nov 14, 2024
I'mME • Nov 14, 2024
Bunnie wrote:
I mean… I’m ok with it… no frowns on this face lol icon_biggrin.gif


My thinking is similar to what TF wrote. Instead of just saying we are not compatible, or I wouldn't be compatible with someone who yada, yada, yada, whatever it is, they have to make the other person feel/think that there is a problem with them.

I mean look at how many ppl blog about how they internalize what ppl say.

I'm enjoying your journey, you write what I often have thought or need to think about. The things you post provide clarity to many, Bunnie.

❤️
JenX
4 weeks ago • Nov 14, 2024
JenX • Nov 14, 2024
Hello,
I would define hyper sexual along the lines of compulsive sexual behavior.

The definition of normal is conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. So, normal is relative, because standards, the usual, typical, and expected not only changes over time and trend, but relates to an overall concept.

Example: Daily masturbation and desire for sex may be normal in say a Kink community, in younger adults, folks with a partner, childless couples, in post industrial societies, ppl who are fit, etc; yet it may not be normal in devout religious communities, senior adults, single ppl, couples with children under the age of 10, and pre-industrial societies, and ppl who are unfit. You See? Normal is relative or relates to something.

Now, "normalizing" on the other hand is a cognitive behavior technique, that in a nut shell, helps us to better accept how we view and feel about our experience.

Example: Its totally normal to feel bothered when someone seems to judge us to an extreme, such as calling our typical masturbation behavior or desire for sex: hyper sexual. (It would make me feel like there was something wrong with me) It's also totally normal to ask others about their masturbation practices and desire for sex to gage whether there may be something unacceptable or wrong with you.

So, overall, I'd say, in this community, you are normal and your stuff is totally acceptable.
ArthursKnight​(sub trans man)
4 weeks ago • Nov 14, 2024
Honestly, "normal" is something that has been used to make people fit into s mold and everyone else that didn't fit got thrown to the wolves. And worse.
I don't think that's hypersexual at all, and someone who was raised with shame about all that was sex related and I am finally exploring this side of me.

Masturbating has many benefits anyway and it's fun so as long as no one is getting hurt or shown things they don't want to, who cares
CapnRick​(dom male)Verified Account
CapnRick​(dom male)Verified Account
3 weeks ago • Nov 19, 2024
CapnRick​(dom male)Verified Account • Nov 19, 2024
Bunnie,
I don't think anyone here has yet tied "normal " to age... What was normal for me in my teens and 20s (multiples daily, mostly self pleasuring) is far different to what is "normal" in the early 80s!

So it is all a fluid target, best left as wide as possible in considering one's own parameters....

I will hope that as a healthy and passionate younger woman (at least from my perspective) "normal" includes all the kinky sex you wish to have, and that brings you great satisfaction.

Because after late middle age, you definition and expectations are bound to changes some.... enjoy the now, girl!
ControlYourHole​(dom male)
3 weeks ago • Nov 19, 2024

Re: What is “the norm”?

ControlYourHole​(dom male) • Nov 19, 2024
Bunnie wrote:
Is masturbating daily considered hyper-sexual?
Is desiring sex on a daily basis considered unusual?

I was surprised recently to be (casually… not as an insult) called “hyper-sexual.” It’s not something I would have particularly associated with myself personally, because I’m not constantly thinking about all things sexual. But it did come as a bit of a shock to realise that maybe my “normal” is considered a bit much by some people’s standards.

So, what is your “normal”?
And how would you define “hyper”?


I share your surprise at how non-sexual over half of the population is today (and I even mean my age & younger as a 28 year old)…I needed to jack off several times daily starting at 14 and would have loved having daily sex even then. I knew that once I found the right woman/women, they would NEVER be deprived of cum for even one day. But I’ve talked to so many girls who’ve had their relationships get passionless VERY quickly and sex go down to once a month or less, despite wanting lots of sex- their man’s libido just becomes non-existent☠️even married young couples. Then just look at survey results- around half of young men 18-30 had sex zero times in the last year👀porn, micro plastics, birth control, drugs and shit quality food have turned soooo many young people into sexless, dopamine-flooded consumers only focused on staring at screens. For elderly couples I understand minimal sex, but we shouldn’t just accept the current state of mass sterility as “normal” for one second. Even a century ago most women had a baby by around 16 and couple or a few children by age 20-now one by 35 is still more than the norm in many places and demographics. Here’s to hoping that more young men quit porn and start working out so the lonely subs on here will not grow old feeling sexually frustrated- the good news is that raising your harmony function is possible💪🏻
Ingénue{VK}
2 weeks ago • Nov 24, 2024
Ingénue{VK} • Nov 24, 2024
I prefer hyposexual.
shortylotus​(dom female){johnnyxsix}
3 days ago • Dec 10, 2024
I am a 2-3 times a day girl...some might call that hypersexual...I call it self entertaining...you can't base your needs on someone else's standards..as long as your not imposing on others such as rubbing one off at a restaurant honestly it's nobody's business....so carry on and live free