Why is it so hard to find a true sub little?

Evolved​(dom male) • Oct 3, 2018

Well hopefully everyone understands that this is not meant to start arguments. Different opinions shed light on the topic at hand. For my situations to clarify, we not web based, I’ve had two subs, one collared, and one sub/little and all three lived with me.

CK45​(sub female) • Oct 3, 2018

SomYuma,
There is mistreatments of everyone, everywhere these days not just on here or in these types of relationships....
I think all we can do is stay strong, try not to feel discouraged when it doesn't work out, be truthful and keep the faith .

Re: Why is it so hard to find a true sub little?

Jane Doee{I am Owned} • Oct 3, 2018

Well that would depend on your definition of “true” and “real” as often those words in compass a large verity of things, someone isn’t “true“ or “real“ if they aren’t compatible, Don’t enjoy the same level of authority exchange, aren’t into the same kinks, or are abusive, a predator, an asshole, etc. so what are you specifically looking for in a partner? In a dynamic? Title aside as they can mean a variety of things to a variety of people.

There is no one true way to live this lifestyle so perfecting this lifestyle for you doesn’t mean that is the lifestyle others want for themselves. There’s no such thing as a true Dom or a true sub... aside from someone who consensually exchanges authority. Something I would have hoped you would have learned in all of your “experience“. Doing some research could potentially be really helpful for you.

TalentedOptimist​(dom male){open} • Oct 3, 2018

My biggest success with finding submissives came from engaging and training from my regular dating pool. The process is more extensive but takes less time than "shopping."

Takes months to find the right house/job/school right? So take it easy.

So here is my advice:

1. Finding a sub/little: when browsing online, search for your specific tastes in different cities and countries. In real life, look for swinger clubs and alt lifestyle events.

Keep in mind finding an experienced ans dedicated sub/little is a process.

2. Performance. Give as good as you get. Do not over extend for no good reason. Balance is key. Do not be afraid to correct or address issues and/or let someone go.

3. Frustration. I hear you on this front. Going into a search with a frustrated mindset can be daunting. Take some time for yourself and come back refreshed. Also, keep posting, correct spelling, decent picture and a positive message go a long way.

Good luck. Hit me up with any questions.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Oct 3, 2018

'Swinger clubs', really. Totally different community, different values and ethos and while there is some BDSM events in some swinging clubs, its rare. Swinging and BDSM are not the same thing, and the chances of finding any littles in a swinging club is going to be pretty slim.

Physical world meeting littles is going to mean getting involved in local commuities and going to events, workshops etc, but you will need to stand out as a decent sort, or its not going to happen, and it requires patience as meeting people and connecting can take time.

For here, I would put some effort into your profile, blog, take part in the lobby and be seen to be a nice decent person first, if that is seen and you are, then littles will more than likely come to you.

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 3, 2018

The only time my sub would swing it’s in my ropes!
Agree with dollMaker, swinger club is not a place to find a little or even bbg. By their nature they are shy, monogenous and for some non sexual.
Each for their own but I won’t even looking for a sub in a swingers club either. Unless of course you are the share type of dynamic...
Your quest is even more restricted and it’s prob better looking for specific website who dedicated their members for little and bbg.

Evolved​(dom male) • Oct 4, 2018

I really appreciate everyone’s say on this, some has been beneficial and some just interesting, but all helpful

????

Notely • Oct 4, 2018

It seems to be rare these days and also both ways. Trust is earned not given have ti earn thr heart get in thr mind. Best for both to be upfront be serious and willing to date and meet in real not be lead on.

Notely • Oct 4, 2018

You may need to also weed some put since your poly if they are into them they need to be clear with that.

Evolved​(dom male) • Oct 4, 2018

Oh sorry for the confusion here but they all didn’t live with me at the same time, I devote myself to one person at a time. Giving my all to that person

Sorry for any confusion on that