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Choosing the right dom?

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat}
5 years ago • Dec 18, 2018
Bound, there are several things wrong with your comment-

1) Dont hijack people's post. Its impolite and there is no reason for it.
2) If you're looking for a partner you post in the personals, not the forums.
3) The way you're going about asking will get you nowhere. Put forth way more effort in trying to entice someone. A relationship of any sort is a big commitment. A basic post without much info isnt enough to grab someone's attention. Work for it.

Go make your own personals ad. Dont be rude.
Low{BLK OWND}
5 years ago • Dec 19, 2018
Low{BLK OWND} • Dec 19, 2018
This helps a lot
Thanks
Taramafor​(sub male)
3 years ago • Nov 24, 2020
Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 24, 2020
It's very simple. You talk to people. Even if they find it stressful. They might not want to hear it. But at any point they can choose to walk away. Put hurt feelings aside. You WILL have to hurt people when they're close minded and stubborn. But that aren't stopping me. It's never stopped me. I thrive on it actually.

Here's an example. At first someone told me they're not interested in a sub scene. They were stuck on the sub label. The "common" meaning of it. This actually pissed me off quite a bit. I'm anything but common. I'm not like "most others". In fact, I'd go as far as to say I'm a freak among freaks. And I'm ok with that. I'm ok with standing out. With being different. I even pride myself on it.

We had a few stressful talks. Misunderstnadings do that. But we also focused on doing some general things too. At first they said they found me stressful. BUT they also stated I was comical. I didn't fixate on the negatives. I focused on the positives. Comical=amusement. I take that fuel.

More misunderstanding talks. They just kept using the "general label". Sub this, sub that. I put a stop to it. I HAD to put a stop to it. It's not me. It's not what I'm like. I have to separate myself from the heard. I have to stand out.

So I said the following. And I'm quoting this. Word for word. Keep in mind I said it after a number of other talks (therefor proving we both have a logical mindset).

Quote: Most people won't be worth it. I know I am. And deep down I think you know that. I have to separate myself from the rest of the heard. I aim to impress, I aim to please. I don't just say it, I show it. I have a brain and know how to use it. I aim to make you laugh and smile. I've done it with others, I'll do it with you. I am confident. I am certain. I have a backbone. I have a spine. And above all else... I am loyal. No matter how hard the times. It's never been about D/s. It's always been about control. Of paying attention when someone has a bad day. Of making it about you when you want to play. Or when you lash out and need a firm wall to hold you up. That is my character. That is my person. Accept it or don't. But you get the whole. And in turn, the whole of you. I want it all. The good. The bad. The flaws and imperfections. It can't always be about my preferences alone. It has to be about you too.


They were going on about their preferences a lot. They started taking note of mine. "Both ways", you know.

At THAT point they said they're willing to try things out. At THAT point they said "Just to be clear, this isn't me giving up." Putting me in my place.

At THAT point they started treating me like a sub.

At THAT point I proved my worth.

It also helps to remind people that they want to have their way. That they enjoy getting what they want. "Little reminders" like that go a long way.
Miki
3 years ago • Nov 28, 2020
Miki • Nov 28, 2020
Argh I was "misled" by a faulty title. It reads "choosing the right dom?" when it should read "Getting rid of the wrong, but persistent dom".

However in the case of the former, go to a dom you might like, kick the tires, take him for a ride (not as in anything nefarious or necessarily sexual, in other words, spend time with the guy) see how everything rolls.

Sounds like buying a car, huh? well in a way it is quite similar here in the realm of interpersonal relationships.

Check to make sure there are no rattles, scraping noises, or funny smells. (check under the arms). Make sure he isn't out on a on a Salvage Title.

* * * *

As for the wrong ones not wanting to go away, that has been covered over these three pages, you don't need my 2 cents , you have enough by now for a proverbial drink to toss in his digital face.

toodles and good luck!
Miki
3 years ago • Nov 28, 2020
Miki • Nov 28, 2020
... I forgot to write,

"Make note of the exhaust. If it is voluminous or smells of rotten eggs, the dom's motor is out of tune, or faulty. Loss of go-go down the road.
DomJayy​(dom male)
3 years ago • Nov 28, 2020
DomJayy​(dom male) • Nov 28, 2020
I have heard of this happening before recently about a ‘dom’ who has multiple profiles somehow and is very harassing! They even went so far as to threaten and scare the submissive!

Any time someone isn’t respectful of what you want then they are a hard no! Take your time because if they won’t put the work in to gain your trust then they themselves can’t be trusted

Good luck
SubtleHush​(sub female)
3 years ago • Nov 29, 2020
SubtleHush​(sub female) • Nov 29, 2020
I hope the staff is able to help you. Take a lesson though. Meter out trust and important information slowly. I know that rush of excitement and wanting to extend the bond but you want to protect yourself too.

A lot of people are good used car salesmen. They know how to push the right buttons and say the right words. Just like hunters who know how to dress and where to hide waiting for their prey.

Hard as it sounds, the more you want to share the less you should. And someone serious about more than right now will wait for you and hopefully show the same restraint.

You don't know me anymore than you know the stalker person but feel free to ask if you are not sure how to proceed. This matter should be with the cage staff. But in general when things seem too good to be true, ask someone. Many of us have made the same mistakes and learned from them.

A clear head can be a powerful voice.