Ice Girl's public thoughts.

As an individual with an intersex condition, moderator of various LGBTIQ groups, and someone who has spoken to many confused intersex individuals, families and allies, I get a similar question over and over: What does it mean now that I am diagnosed with an intersex condition? Or, from the ally stance, what can I do to better understand and support someone who is intersex?

Just today a better answer came to me, and it additionally is advice to those who often write the insensitive question, how should I write an intersex character, or I have an idea for an intersex character, can you help me with it?

This insight came from me watching a YouTube video pointing out that the character Toph (blind earth bender) from “Avatar: The Last Airbender” was based on a real person.

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It got me thinking in a whole new way to explain what it is like being intersex. The following is what changed about me the day I found out I was intersex: absolutely nothing! I am a real person, my hopes and dreams were exactly the same – wanting a family to love me finally, wanting to understand myself, wanting to have quality healthcare so that my issues could be dealt with. Oh, I was scared and afraid – not because of the condition, but because of how my family, society, and some medical professionals made me feel.

With my condition (Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome), my body, brain and hormonal development is like any other female’s. I know not every intersex condition is so lucky, and even within androgen insensitivity, not everyone’s bodies has taken to it as well as mine. I am lucky that I can run marathons and perform spinning 360 jump kicks with enough force to break a target as thick as a 2x4.

Yet behind my eyes of steel resolve, there is hurt, not because of a diagnosis but because of a rejection of my humanity. My family didn’t want me; ignorant that someone with XY chromosomes can grow up to be a biological female, they rejected me. Yet they weren’t the only ones. My first girlfriend, when I tried to be intimate with her, was very upset because she didn’t want to be with a man and claimed I tricked her because I wasn’t a “real woman” in her opinion.

The reason why people can’t understand what it’s like to be intersex, or how to write intersex characters is because, unlike with the design of Toph, where her blindness didn’t define her, so many attempts to understand intersex do not see that when you meet an intersex person, you have met only one intersex person. We are real individuals, with complicated emotions, families and circumstances, making the intersex aspect of us an afterthought. My condition doesn’t and didn’t ever define me. My lack of love, supportive people, or people who cared about me is what caused the struggles I have faced in my life because of my intersex condition.

I know being in my 30s, nearly 20 years removed from puberty, it will be different for this next generation, but that doesn’t mean some of the same themes won’t play out. Here is my advice to young or confused intersex people:

First – Breathe, nothing has ever changed about you. The only thing that has happened is you better understand yourself.

Second – Relax. Most intersex conditions are harmless, and for the ones that have health considerations, it may take time, but if you get qualified medical care, it can be managed. The majority of intersex conditions do not shorten life expectancy.

Third – Trust. It’s hard trusting others, when so many will stigmatize you, or mock you, making you feel insecure. Trusting medical professionals is required, even though they will often fall short and say or do disrespectful things. Find medical professionals who care, and trust that things will get better, even when year after year it seems like the world only gets worse for people like us. Trust builds hope, and to keep striving for the day when you find people who accept you better is worth fighting for.

Fourth – No Shame. No one is born hating themselves; it is impossible. You love yourself, but that spirit was broken by many people who fed you a lifetime of lies and pain, which twisted your self-image. No one is an island, yet finding self-love, self-respect and showcasing who you are to the world is worthy.

Fifth – No Judgement. I don’t have to talk about my condition; I choose to. When I was young, I didn’t know where to turn. No one I knew had any condition like me or could even relate to me, so I was alone in the world. But then the power of the internet and concerned online intersex people saved me by simply talking to me and helping me to realize being intersex is natural. Now, as many of them have grown older and started to retire from advocacy, I have picked up the mantle to keep a light on for the next generation of hurting youth. The innate nature of intersex means there will always be another generation. We have existed as long as humanity, and thus the work of improving our lives, of being a symbol for and mentoring the next generation, will always be needed.

If you can’t do this yourself, that’s ok. Love yourself and follow my advice; there is no right or wrong way to be who you are. I love you all the same for staying true to your heart. Not everyone is a healer-educator. I don’t do this for you, though; I am doing it because without being an advocate, my life wouldn’t feel complete. I am obsessed with making the world a better place, not because I believe it ever will be – but when I was young, I prayed for a hero that never came to me. So I became the person that I prayed for. I became who I believed the world needed; I am the change I wanted to see in the world and its people.

Holidays are a hard time for many in the LGBTIQQA+ community, me included. I will never have a day when I go over my parents, to a warm fire, presents and stories of past joy. What I have instead is the added conviction to improve the world, so other intersex children get spared the pain and loneliness that has filled my life.

In short, I love Toph, not because she is a character who overcame a disability, or because being intersex is a disability, but because she’s a fully realized person who is strong, capable, intelligent, and caring, who we the audience and the characters in the world often forget to see as blind.

As an intersex person, I don’t live my life everyday thinking about my condition or situation; that would be insane. A typical day: I get up, have breakfast, shower and brush my teeth, walk my dog, then go to university to study, go to the gym, go to taekwondo practice, and then sometimes work at night, and get up to do it all over again. Where in my everyday life does being intersex matter? Why should it have ever mattered to anyone?

Yet it does because we live in a world of: stigma, bigotry, hatred, and shame. I have no biological family, countless friends have left me, and I suffer often for speaking the truth, knowing fully well if I shut my mouth and chose to be invisible, I’d have an easier life. I would be seen as just another tall, intelligent, attractive, white girl. Yet to do that, I wouldn’t help anyone. Furthermore, that act would exact a price on my soul I couldn’t live with. It is my duty to live in the light to cast out darkness.

I hope this helps you understand what goes on in the mind and life of a real intersex person, and that if you or anyone you know is intersex, it’s ok – just: breathe, relax, trust, no shame, no judgement, be yourself, the same person you always were.

Be like Toph. She isn’t the sum of her condition; hell, it’s easy to forget she is blind because with what she does, her disability doesn’t define her. Toph is herself – and amazing for that. As Intersex people, all of us can be ourselves, no matter what others think or try to force upon us, and that is amazing.

How to write a disabled character, a video featuring Toph:

Times characters forgot that Toph is blind:

I have moved on from so many toxic things this year. Finally stood up and told my abusive mother I will not interact with her unless she gets professional help for her mental illness it isn't my duty to fix my mother.

I told an ex that I will no longer tolerate him dictating any aspect of my life and that if we are to be friends or have any interaction he must accept me as I am.

I lost 60 pounds and started training 5 days a week at a taekwondo gym that just brought home 9 medals from worlds. I have been doing martial arts since I was 7 because I was tired of being bullied. I have taken it to a whole new level now, next year I will finally start doing competitions my body is getting explosive can't wait to test myself. 

I got back into BDSM publicly and became a contributor to a local dungeon. I have been making friends while learning and working on getting my skills back. I am currently learning fire doming, knife play, cupping, rope play.

I used to do BDSM as a way to escape or get my issues out on others but now as a mature adult I am doing it to help not only please others but actually just enjoy the time and space of life. Kinky people are the best people! 

I am working in better expressing myself and what it means for me to be my own advocate. As someone who volunteers and tries to save people for a living it's easy for me to be in the caretaker mode for everyone around me. 

My schooling is going well got straight A's again so happy for that. Next year 14 credits and I will have another degree/ certificate license to the pile. This one is going to allow me to be a medical assistant. I want to have my own clinic or at least be able to do charity medicine when I am a higher medical provider so learning the back of the house things is important.

This upcoming year while working as an EMT and interning as a medical assistant I am gonna be applying to medical school so will see where I get in!

I am in a happy place trying to learn about myself through accepting my desires without any judgement or self policing. 

Thank you to all who support me on my quest to be better then I was yesterday 

Love -

Icegirl 

As an EMT who started during covid it isn't new to experience death and suffering.

Yet in the last month my personal friend who was living with me while he transitioned decided he couldn't take the pain anymore and committed suicide, if that wasn't enough as an EMT when I called 911 to ask for a wellness check they pressed me to go into his room and exam him to decide if we needed emergency services.

While coping with that and dealing with his unsupported down right bigoted family my best female friends grandmother died of cancer and they live in Philadelphia and normally I would run to her side and be there for her but I just didn't have it in me this time my own personal grief and dealing with the fall out too intense to do much then listen to them on the phone a couple of times ahead those intense emotions with me.

If that wasn't all just last week my best and perhaps closest friends mother died and they had to fly out to North Carolina and help get there affairs in order we talked a couple of times but its finals week of all times for this to happen I just didn't have much time for him.

3 massive deaths in my life all within the last 3 weeks while I had to keep the wheels on and finish my semester. I finally did it turned in my last assignment Another 3 A's but I feel like I get 3 F's in how well I have done for me and my friends during this time.

I miss prince so much I wish there was something I could have done to help him I tried everyday I was in his life to lift him up and believe in him yet 100% of my love and appreciation wasn't enough to get him but a few more months of life.

My friends who have been going through stuff right now I am so sorry for how I might have failed you I really do love you and appreciate you I wish I had more time more energy more whatever you need me to be to make your life better. I would gladly sacrifice myself for someone I loved without hesitation yet what am I doing at the moment sitting in my room having just finished my last bit of school work screaming at the walls wondering if I can live up to my own unrealistic demands on myself for just one more day.

I will keep my head above my tears too many people pray for a hero and someone has to be strong enough to run into chaos and pull people through. Sorry that I had a human moment its important for the soul to know I have sympathy for myself even if I have to let go of these feelings before they have the chance to resolve too much good to fight for to be weak in defeat.

Love~

Since I lost weight and started to get fit going to the gym has gone from therapy to annoying.

I swear to god why do guys see me mid work out and think I know what this female working her ass off needs an awkward insecure bastard who thinks he's hot shit interacting with her. Then getting butt hurt when she doesn't give a damn. 

Men either trying to impress me by failing hard, glare at me like a creeper, or worst of all attempt to talk to me. Sometimes when they talk to me they do the same work out as me on the machine next to me. Like seriously it's a planet fitness this place is empty if I wanted to talk to you I'd approach you.

Although sometimes it is amusing 4-6 days a week I start by using the row machine for 40 minutes to an hour and 15 minutes straight. One of my favorites is watching them crack after 5 minutes trying to talk to me.

It ain't easy rowings a full body workout and after 6 months of training have a pretty insane clip. They must think its easy since they see me do it nearly effortlessly shocker its not. 

Rowing is freaking brutal that's why I do it almost everyday. Rowing burns and tones my entire body while being low impact and having no potential for injury since I use the proper technique.

What's kinda sad is for all the men who hit on me unwelcomed making me uncomfortable where's an interesting female? Just for once change it up for someone I might actually be interesting in meeting. 

So as I joined a local dungeon I have made some quick friends who woulda guessed being an attractive friendly female who's wild as it gets would go over  so well?

One of my new friends K had some concerns about how much I reportedly repressed myself and wanted to help and I was honestly not sure how it can be done many of my issues has to do with my own still coming to terms with my own AFAB biology.

He's like well I don't know if it would help but I dont mind working with you on that. I was like yeah I was sexually abused so guys aren't really in the cards but thank you though.

However at some point in one of our interactions I found out he had a fuck machine and he politely said well when you get older like me sometimes it don't work or you get tired and fuck it you young girls seems to never have enough.

I was like would you mind if I tried the fuck machine, he was like of course not especially if it would make you feel better since at the time I was sick with the flu.

My first time with the fuck machine we started with the smallest implement by my choice it was some floppy nothing and I was all disappointed I mean my first time getting willingly fucked and it was like I might as well not of bothered.

Well we quickly upgraded to a double head rabbit type that has a decent penteration part and a clit stimulator plus while it was going I helped close my lips on it and he pressed on the outside for me as a friendly person would do and let me tell It wasn't long before my entier opinion on almost everything in life was challenged.

It didn't take long for what was at first painful and uncomfortable to quickly feel amazing. A few minutes  my vagina got fully aroused and my brain clicked into a whole new world of sensations joys and desires. Before long my body was practically absorbing the dildo my pussy couldn't get enough as the machine pounded into it. At times K would have it at slower thrusts but then again taking it at times up to 360 revolutions per minute.

It didn't take long for my entier body to change its response what started as this tense odd completely freaky experience quickly turned into this relaxing full body stimulating orgasmic ecstasy my usually useless vagina showed her true potential let me tell you. 

I was stunned at how my body went from this hurts please make it stop to oh god this hurts too fucking good never let it stop fuck ne harder!

I was in near tears of joy and I i didn't want to admit it but have to now my body being a womans was built to get fucked and loved it!

Every thrust, every reposition, ever second of intensity, was just fuel for this nearly endless fire that just started within and consumed all doubts about what pentration would feel like. 

There was a couple of times when I was about to orgasm but I stopped myself because I wasn't mentally ready to accept what had transpired that I loved getting fucked and like any normal female once warmed up could easily take a cock like object inside of my vagina. Furthermore getting fucked drove me wild with tearful bliss.

As k was moving the device around he also found my G spot I have heard some Doctors aren't sure if its even real well let me tell you when he angled it just right which for me was kind up and towards the underside of my clit/pubic bone it was like I was getting fucked in my brain. I was practically losing all muscle control in my legs and I didn't quite have words to describe the sensation other then drool slowly coming out the side of my mouth.

Thankfully he wasn't able to keep it positioned in that location too long or god knows if my first experience with a fuck machine would ever come to an end. 

My takeaways from said experience

A I used to have a rule even for my lovers no penteration of any kind and it went further way back when I didn't want anyone to physically please me at all. 

This was me trying to ignore the obvious that I have a Female body with needs wants and desires its the whole can't miss what you never experienced sorta thing.

Well it took me till my late 30's to get right and proper fucked and that was a huge damn mistake! 

I wish someone encouraged me to do this in my teens I woulda enjoyed so much more of my life if I simply accepted my body embraced it and shared it with others. Yes it is better later then never but woah its so incredible I just wish I had gotten comfortable with it sooner.

B the female body is incredible I went from barely getting a finger in it fitting nearly 6 inched of a fairly girthy dildo smashing into me with jackhammer like power. What in the absolute fuckery! How can the female body adapt so rapidly while taking such a powerful pounding? That's not all I actually just loved nearly every moment of it?

Seriously the harder I was getting fucked after awhile the more comfortable and relaxing I felt. Heck my legs started to go limp from just the insanely calm relaxation from the fucking it was really hard to process how something that was so intense could feel so calming that I could almost fall asleep because it was so comforting. 

C my only real ban on penteration now is cis het male penis because of the fact I was sexually abused, but fingers, toys, dildos, fuck machines, double ended dildos, you name it I am all for it. I can't possibly  turn down another opportunity if it comes by to feel that much joy again. 

D Man now I gotta buy a fuck machine? There's so many models and features? Do I get a cheeper portable one like his , or do I save up and get a more fancy one with more robust features. My god literally a week ago I was pretty sure I never wanted to get sexed ever-- now here I am going to track down a fuck machine so I can fuck myself on a regular basis.

E I was right about one thing, once you know it's hard to unknow. I enjoyed it so much I can't go back I don't ever wanna go back, enjoying having my pussy fucked till it was bursting with fluids was honestly so awesome I am never going to deprive myself the joy of this again. 

I love being a woman goddamnit its my birthright to enjoy my body  sexually I waited far to long to claim it I'm never gonna forsake her again.

Best,

Icegirl

My entire adult life I been battling three basic demons that have been repressing me sexually.

One the fact I was raised Roman Catholic under the Church going so far as to being in religious institutions of instruction. 

The Church made it quite clear any thoughts or sex acts outside of marriage and procreation were not only sinful but condemn the soul. Infact I was taught as a child being born isn't a beautiful act but the culmination of original sin and we must have a baptism immediately to protect the child from being contaminated.

Two as stated even though I was AFAB I am intersex and my family tried to raise me male and had given me medication to attempt to transtion me while not even explaining what was going on or why they were so abusive and dismissive of my natural female development.

Three having been sexually abused by men for my female body was in some ways the last straw. I felt sex and my body was just disgusting and traumatic and I didn't want anyone or anything to interact with me going forward.

These three barriers have finally all fallen! 

Religion fell long ago, I view myself as a secular atheist I stopped buying the religious bullshit first in my teens I had serious doubts and by my early 20's it was over I was no longer a practicing Catholic.

Then the other two barriers took longer and both actually finally fell this year. 

The second accepting that I'm AFAB and my body is going to have female wants and needs and it is my duty to respond to those needs instead of punishing myself was an actual time and a half to come to grips on. 

I had internalized disgust and judgement from my family and society that views females as weaker pathetic and of second class status. The fact that I even wanted to be fucked to be the so called "bitch" as an innate desire was so upsetting to contemplate. 

Just think some of the worst and most demeaning insults cocksucker, cunt, get fucked, whore, slut, pussy. It goes on why did I naturally at times desire to be in such a position and then I realized oh its an innate thing and what people are doing is making value judgements based on a sexist society and I am no different.

So the most radical feminist thing I could ever do isn't buring a bra its embodying my womanhood and loving it! 

There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting sex enjoying sex or seeking healthy sexual relationships so why continue to repress myself from being who and what I naturally am? 

Ok that was two issues sorted now I am at the third barrier for me this issue is still a work in progress.

I do not plan to nor want to have sex with men but toys including a sex machine sure women with strap ons no problem self masturbating its All clear.

Thus my own real sexual barrier that exists is a man trying to have vaginal sex with me due to my discomfort from being sexually abused and to be frank that limitation isn't a big deal for me seeing as I perfer women anyway and I have no psychology interest beyond the human maybe it might be nice sorta theory to attempt it.

My life is gonna be just fine if I never have a another penis inside me aside from the sexual abusers of my past. Maybe if there was a man I loved Id attempt to work on it but so far no male has surfaced in my life worthy of such mental energy to overcome my apprehensive feelings towards pentration sex with males. 

The next blog I write will be about me using a sex machine for the first time and breaking the final chains to my sexuality. 

I have lost over 50 pounds in roughly 4-5 months I have been training as hard as I humanly can since I want to be a taekwondo champion. I am at a gym that has one of the coaches for team USA and he's not dicking around this year he sent 11 of the 40 Americans who qualified for worlds from his gym. Additionally a couple of people who made it come from a few states away to train with him.

Last night as i was doing a double class for the second time this week which is 3-4 hours of brutal Olympic level training. He introduced a new technique to me that I never tried he didn't explain it or let me practice he had tied a strap to my belt and had someone hold it and tug on it to work the explosiveness.

Since it was a totally new sensation I was having difficulty with the constant force pulling me off balance while I was doing the technique. As I struggled he came right next to me and started screaming go fast faster god damn your doing it wrong. I then said sorry I never did this before its really hard.

Then he truned away saying no I'm sorry and walked away.

Then he didn't talk to me for the rest of class.

I knew he isn't a fan of "back talk" but I figured this wasn't that I was trying to explain why it was so hard to do.

He then said he didn't want to talk to me that I am totally uncoachable and I lost the right to call him coach that he has lost his faith in me that as soon as he put some faith in me I couldn't handle the added pressure because I'm a child and i need to grow up.

It was devastating even now I'm crying I have for Months given pretty much all my free time. My diet, my exercise regimen, my breathing, my training  my constant listening to his berating me for months on end and one sentence of explaining my struggle and hes willing to just throw me away as if none of what I been able to achived mattered.

I have never been treated to such an indignity he knows everyday I give it my best. Infact the whole point of why this even happened is I am starting to double up classes I went from 4 hours of weekly instruction of him to 9 and that much has been hard for me, barely doable but I was surviving my hope was the stressing would get easier as my body adapted.

Yet now he's turned his back on me, this is on top of a good friend killing themselves in my home no less, and having my school all up in my face about how I am not processing my grief properly because apparently me demanding to do my work and let me be the student I am capable of is incorrect.

If this wasn't all one of my best friends mothers just died literally yesterday and I have had to do my best to council them. God I have tried so fucking hard and I have seen the improvement under his coaching but one mishap and he comes down on me with a righteous anger. 

I have never in my wildest dreams thought a human being could ride me so hard that with a sentence they could tare me apart. I know its because of how emotional I am during this time. My ex Coach has got to be the hardest person I have ever met. I just thought we had reached a new level of teamwork and the second I do something he doesn't like he rips the rug out from under me and makes me feel absolutely dogshit. No opportunity for corrective action now I'm stuck begging for him to coach me again.

Some have said already why do I take this or there's gotta be other coaches. I disagree he makes champions I gotta believe if he gives me another opportunity I will be even more prepared and go further. No human I have met has challenged me and pushed me as hard as this individual it's gotta mean something. Months of blood sweat and tears now I'm only more committed going forward to bring it even harder don't know where I will find it but I'm gonna dig a little deeper. 

I woke up thinking how many male friends I have known to complain how unfair it is that they get boners or inconvenient hard ons. That's not the only complaint as males get older it happens less then they complain about that some even take medicine to fix it, is there ever a time men feel there dick is just right?

Yet does anyone take the time to care how it feels for a female? Not that long ago much of conservative media was freaking out at the song WAP, apparently even mentioning how wet horny and sexually empowered women can feel was too much for fragile minds. 

Yet is it fun to have your panties turn into a sweet sweaty salty mess with fluids starting to leak out of you uncontrollably?

I say absolutely not especially if the male or female who caused the problem don't even care that they trigger such an event in you. 

Last Saturday when I went to a place where play can happen My first play partner was teaching me some knife/ edge play and at first it was all fun and games but then once my eyes were closed and he rested daggers on my throat while continuing to drag blades across tender parts of my body how was I not supposed to on the brink of a tremendous orgasm the entier time.

If anything as he could tell my excitement was reaching to the point I was in near tears he was like well maybe we should come back to this later. Its was like being cut off cold turkey from oxygen. I won't go so far as to say he was being intentionally mean but I wanted more and had to walk around almost painfully aroused the rest of the night was that the fucking point it was almost sadistic. 

It kinda makes me wonder if in my purse or car should I bring a change of panties in the future because if people will tease me mercilessly to the point My vagina feels more moisture than water park it isn't a fun feeling at all.

At least not for me I like feeling clean. I have always been fairly easy to arouse because tender loving contact is my love language. People who actually watch me play or are my partner would notice right away I love kissing sucking and licking my playmates all over there body the emphasis is I like to have a map of every spot they like tenderized. Since everyone is different and like different things one has to probe quite abit to find out where how and to what intensity. For one a flick of the tongue on the nipple is enough for others they want it tugged in your mouth while providing enough suction that you can elevate the entier breast while you tenderly kneed it with your hands.

Everyone is different its why I always try to tell people my relationship and interaction with you is going to be unique because you and your needs are going to ask for unique elements from me.

I always aim to please as a switch that means anything is possible from me or for me. My life is at its most complete when I am servicing others and bringing them to experience the joys of existence since this life is already shitty enough -- why not have a moment here or there where someone treats you like your the most important being on earth?

Yet all I ask is please don't make me wet for no reason if your into me at least fully get me off. Thank you an agitated pussy public announcement. 

Some days my sex drive is so strong especially a day like today when I'm tried stressed and exhausted from a long day I just wish someone would have sex with me and let me cuddle with them after nibbling there neck and and playing with them.

For too long in my life a combination of my family trying to force FtM on me and sexual abuse made me think it was impossible to ever try again at having sexual partners I was far too anxious and afraid.

I am finally at a place where im ready to come out my shell but its been so long I'm still very anxious.

Also before I had a no penteration rule.

I swear i had a someone eat my pussy out a couple of weeks ago as i had my thighs wrapped around his head. If he wanted to he could have easily just fucked me after I came all over his cute little beard. My legs went limp and i literally did everything but beg the man for sex but he was a gentleman and didn't take advantage of me because pre scene I said no penteration.

Yet its so hard to stick to that when every fiber of my body at times is dying for more.

For those of you who have followed me for awhile dear god you know this isn't the way I used to be.

I think. Finally just accepting me for who I am and no longer being dishonest with myself or trying to lead myself into some fantasy.

I'm a healthy female with a sex drive is it that "unusual' I wish someone would bend me over spank me till im sore rip my panties off eat me out a bit and then fuck me till I had no choice but to go face down ass up and leave me in a puddle our own sweat and wet. If anything I think from the women I been with its kinda typical . 

I really wish there was a cool chick who'd fuck me but its getting to the point where since men keep throwing dick at me almost everyday maybe trying one for a change wouldn't be so bad? 

Sigh ? 

Just read a 68 page research article on the most effective techniques used to stimulate female sexual gratification through pentration.

He is the article link if you wanna read the information yourself

4 female sex techniques proven to enhance pleasure

It is well sourced and had no conflict of interests just an acknowledgement that very little attention has been given to women in this area and it seeks to help acknowledge sex as a fundamental right for women and thus women need to and should know how to better enjoy sexual gratification.

I shall mention the techniques and talk about my own experience or lack there off with them.

The first they addressed was angling which they describe as titling the hips or positing the implement to hit a specific area that feels good often with a pelvic tilt down or up to make the thrust / insertion more shallow or deep.

Personally have fallen into this technique naturally since never heard of it specifically before but would do something that clearly relates. When I'm in the mood to be penterated and enjoying it often times it feels good but doesn't get me over the top. So one of my personal tactics is once my muscles naturally start to clamp and grab is to use my hips as leverage so that I can pull on the object, normally I tilt my hip towards my face while arching my lower back.

I assume the strength with which I can do this might not be as pleasurable for a guy since it feels almost like a clamp tugging and constricting tighter and tighter and then I think I eventually get the pressure and angle just perfect and it hits somewhere nice and sensitive and what was once me in an almost tug of war with the implement turns into me going limp and having total body contractions

The second technique talked about is rocking this is where while there is an implement inside there is a deep pentration with no thrust but a rubbing of contact with the external so the person is filled while having clitoris and vulva stimulation.

I know as a lesbian who used a harness perhaps with too much enjoyment I have used this very technique on the majority of my female sex partners after enough thrusts to have them satisfied of that sensation I have noticed often they don't want more but they don't want removal either.

Now from my own experience I can tell the feeling of being filled is nice but yeah anything that doesn't have some level of progression can just become boring.

So what would I do?  When I'm inside them I would often make little twitch like motions that are by design made to tease and surprise also to mimick a total body orgasm which often pleases women quite alot. If they ever pulled me tight then iy would press my pubic bone into there's and rub genitals while ensuring the pho cock stayed in and often using it as a leverage point to get a better grind for more direct and often intense contact.

Alot of times while using "rocking" since I am not a guy the pleasure I get from it is to see the partner enjoying themselves you can tell if I am really aroused because I would go to my oral fixation and thus suck there breasts or nibble on their neck or slowly trace their body with kisses and polite sucking.

Shallowing is the technique on the list that I never really utilized to it's full extant. Shallowing focuses on the fact that the majority of female nerves are actually in the first couple of inches of the vaginal opening. Apparently the joke of just the tip can actually do more then I ever thought.

The one thing that kinda lent me to realize this was when I would do oral women seemed to really like being penetrated with my tongue ? often I would upon going inside slowly bring it out while licking up towards the clitoris often applying a little suction with my lips and or a tiny nibble for the more adventurous women.

I never used the technique on myself and to be frank don't know if I could handle it lol ?. I am naturally nervous of my sexuality and body so to kinda tease edge and maybe even get it hyper aroused makes me feel so confused. Like I am sure I'd like it but that's bad for some reason ahh people who grew up not only Catholic but LGBTIQQAA and kinky I have so much to unpack I am most of the way there but still need a tiny bit (enormous ?) amount of work.

The last of using clitoris stimulation while being penetrated is there a female on earth that doesn't know that? 

Like it was only something like 86% of women do it so like is that 14% unaware?

Because I am gonna say it right now fuck yeah that works when I am in the mood to be penetrated which is rare and I just wanna go for raw pleasure I have a dildo inserted with a wide flat basd and then i take my hatachi wand and I grind that mother fucker like I am trying to snap the head off while in a perfect world keeping some contact with both the dildo and clit as much as possible. Even me someone who kinda prides themselves on being hard to please can't quite get enough of this, in fact it single handedly got me comfortable with penetration because the added stimulus made things feel better I try not to over do it much since like anyone who gets an extreme pleasure I'd hate to become desensitized to the stimulus.

I think it does definitely let me know that I need to and perhaps should work that more into play with someone I'm with in the future. Of course discussions always needed on what people want but of you haven't done this yet you are missing out girl, go and get it. 

Thats the summary and some real world experiences with the 4 ways proven to enhance female pentration pleasure. 

Ladies demand them, sex should feel good and men if you're with a woman and not doing them your making a mistake when you could be the best sex a woman's ever had you choose to be basic. 

But don't worry I will politely offer to help her ? since

"Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to reach climax; only about 25 to 30 percent of women may climax with vaginal penetration"

Many women I know often have issues having climaxes with males I think because many males are self centered and feel if fucking does it for them it must also work for women.

Keep thinking that, I love being the best sex a bi girl or an experimenting female ever had. I don't need to rise to any occasion I have a bag of tricks and the stamina of a marathon runner, the passion of a sapphic, the romance of a poet, the balanced flexibility of a Yogi, and the strength and power of a Martial artist.

It's a friendly competition ? afterall the goal is to please women what could be more noble. Yet I don't have to fight fair because I don't have a biological limit. ?