Random evidence of a cluttered mind

In the realm of hearts, where passions intertwine,

A force of nature, dominant and divine,

the Goddess, with grace and strength imbued,

In her embrace, love's wildest dreams pursued.

Her dark gaze, a spell, that captivates my soul,

In tender moments, her desires unfold,

Like a lioness, she marks her territory,

Biting, marking, claiming love's sweet glory.

In love's embrace, her essence blooms,

A siren bathing in passion's fumes,

In baths of love, we immerse and entwine,

A symphony of souls, harmonious and fine.

Her dominance, a tapestry of trust,

In her arms, I find comfort and lust,

The tender touches that set my heart aflame,

In every caress, I find my truest aim.

With her, I soar to heights untold,

A love story written, pure and bold,

In her presence, I feel truly free,

Her love, the anchor that steadies me.

So, here I stand, my heart laid bare,

A declaration of love beyond compare,

my Goddess, my life's sweet art,

Forever bound to you, heart to heart.

From Thomas Merton, with slight edits for deeper personal meaning:

WHAT is serious to women and men is often very trivial in the sight of Goddess. What in Goddess might appear to us as "play" is perhaps what She Herself takes most seriously. At any rate Goddess plays and diverts Herself in the garden of Her creation, and if we could let go of our own obsession with what we think is the meaning of it all, we might be able to hear Her call and follow Her in Her mysterious, cosmic dance. We do not have to go very far to catch echoes of that game, and of that dancing. When we are alone on a starlit night; when by chance we see the migrating birds in autumn descending on a grove of junipers to rest and eat; when we see children in a moment when they are really children; when we know love in our own hearts; or when, like the Japanese poet Basho we hear an old frog land in a quiet pond with a solitary splash-at such times the awakening, the turning inside out of all values, the "newness," the emptiness and the purity of vision that make themselves evident, provide a glimpse of the cosmic dance.

For the world and time are the dance of Goddess in emptiness. The silence of the spheres is the music of a wedding feast. The more we persist in misunderstanding the phenomena of life, the more we analyze them out into strange finalities and complex purposes of our own, the more we involve ourselves in sadness, absurdity and despair. But it does not matter much, because no despair of ours can alter the reality of things, or stain the joy of the cosmic dance which is always there. Indeed, we are in the midst of it, and it is in the midst of us, for it beats in our very blood, whether we want it to or not.

Yet the fact remains that we are invited to forget ourselves on purpose, cast our awful solemnity to the winds and join in the general dance.

'Prayer is not asking for what you think you

want, but asking to be changed in ways you

can't imagine.'

--Kathleen Norris

In the dark hours you are a ghost

Stalking me and haunting me

Your presence a suggestion, in every endless thought

like some wicked witchcraft or marvelous medicine

An unseen energy, prickling at the edge of my senses

Leaving me in a state of insatiable ardor

For mint chip kisses 

And endless 'as you wishes'

Aching for the feel

Of your wartenberg wheels

And pointy stiletto heels

To be helplessly bound, a morsel for your greedy delection

But most of all to be snug and enraptured

Lying side by side, gazing eye to eye

Arms and legs intertwined

A perfect union of souls combined.

I am shaken, I am stirred, by a whisper of a kiss

Spellbound to her breath

Does time cease to move?

Her piercing gray blue eyes

Expand to the skies

And the clouds of her hair

Delicately kiss

Exposed skin, exposed nerve endings

And her lips I so wish to kiss

To taste their frost and fire

To begin the white-hot wordless conversation

That unveils all obscured desire

And lasts an eternity, a blessing, 

a bliss, a whisper of a kiss.

I tried to catch a feather in a gust of wind
It's in my fingers it's in my hands
then it slips away, and - it's gone again
You are a feather in a gust of wind I've seen you once
but not yet twice
You are my mystery that adds peppery spice

You floated past me fluttering above the ground
but somehow moving faster than the speed of sound
slowing down in a playful way just to make me wish you would stay
casting magic in the air you cast illusions on your way

You are a feather in a gust of wind you slip away then you're gone again
like a mystery I want to know
I wish I knew where you go
Are you the feather I will never catch, the girl I'll never know?

For me, submission is an invitation to let go of our ideas of freedom and mobility and to consciously participate with reality in a new way. In The Great Within psychologist Han F. de Wit explains stabilitas loci (or remaining in place) as a liberating practice. He writes:

'Many contemplative traditions contain the rule of not abandoning the monastic community or the place of retreat for shorter or longer periods (sometimes for life). If one follows this rule, it is almost always preceded by voluntarily taking a vow to keep to it.'

I envision such a voluntary vow being made to my future Goddess, to not abandon my surrender to her in any way. Much like a the yogi draws a certain line around his place of retreat and vows not to step outside it until he has completed a certain practice (sadhana), until he has reached enlightenment, or until death has reached him, or as Buddha himself sat down under the bodhi tree and vowed not to leave that spot until he had reached enlightenment, a vow to surrender with any meaning must remove all avenues for escape or reneging on the vow. de Wit explains it better and continues:

 'The contemplative psychological function of this physical stabilitas and of the adherent vow is that we let go of the idea that we have an alternative, we give up the possibility of withdrawing. One of the characteristic aspects of ego is that it always wants to have alternatives available: ego reflects a mentality that always wants to keep an exit open and therefore can never come to complete surrender and acceptance. Through the vow of stabilitas loci, we confront and surrender an important part of that mentality. We say, “This is my place, my situation, and that is what I want to work with, however it develops, for better or for worse.”. . . The limitation that this discipline imposes on ego proves to have another element: a flourishing of self-confidence and strength of mind that enables us to be in the situation we are in without any reservations. What may seem claustrophobic or restrictive actually turns into vast and hospitable space.' [1]

It will be wonderful to find deep inner liberation in giving up my freedom. Through true surrender, I will no longer have the option to fill my life or myself up with outside experiences; I must simply “be” with myself and my Goddess, understanding that full surrender to her is all I want or need.  
 
[1] Han F. de Wit, The Great Within: The Transformative Power and Psychology of the Spiritual Path (Shambhala Publications: 2019), 263–264.

'To bear and not to own; to act and not to lay claim; to

do the work and let it go: for just letting it go is

what makes it stay.' 

--Lao Tzu