Friends are a touchy subject in this lifestyle. I long maintained that in the vanilla world males and females cannot be "just" friends. That one party would always want more from the other than they were willing to give.
Realta and I have had long conversations over this. She introduced me to firm Boundaries and Honesty with those opposite sex friends. She sees value in interactions with the opposite sex outside of a deeper relationship.
It is hard to believe that it took me this long to consider that.
You all know well in this lifestyle we have titles, roles in brackets..markers to see where most of us stand. My old guard ways do not allow me to communicate with a taken female in any way at all. It is just a hard and fast rule burned in my brain.
Some of you know I like to read your blogs, I see promise in what you may bring to the community and I can be friendly. I am even happy for some that have found their other half. When they do, I cheer them on. I do not disappear because I feel unfriendly, but because of protocol.
I have helped some get settled in here. Keeping in mind Realtas voice in my ear. Have friends--set boundaries-enforce them. She has opened my eyes. perhaps it is possible?
I know I must not be the only one to have wrestled with this. For the other side, I wonder how you even sort out a friend from someone with another agenda.