The Ramblings of Dickhead Idealist

Ok, let's start this off with a simple statement... Submission does not equal weakness. 

Sounds simple, right? We preach this all the time, and yet somehow we still have piles of S-types in terrible situations. Abuse, neglect, and suffered dishonesty just to name a few. Since joining this community, I have celebrated with many people the "breaking of shackles" because the shackles that held them were not healthy. But on the same hand, I've witnessed on far too many occasions S-types who believed it was "not their place to decide." Well, I'm here to be the one to tell you that it's actually ONLY your place to decide. It's your place to decide that you are being taken care of and it's your place to decide to stop it if your not. I love reading posts where individuals who have been wronged have learned from that and grew in their role anyway. It's refreshing to see them shed the stigma of "meek and mild" to become self-preserving. 

I implore you to take this with you today as you make your travels through space on this little marble, if you are in a situation that you do not like, do not enjoy, is not fulfilling you, or is unhealthy do not hesitate. Stand up today. Get out. Run. You never know when staying just one more day may be the last thing you ever get to do.

I have been asked many times how I'm "so knowledgeable" at such a young age and the answer is very very simple. RESEARCH and a fucking lot of it. I have put in hours and hours into studying human behavior and The Lifestyle. I don't have some fancy degree, nor do I even want one. I have no reason for one in my opinion because I do my studying as a hobby, not for a profession. 

But here is the point of this post. If you have the knowledge, do not hide it away. Share it! I know there are more young people like myself that have the same craving for information that I do and we want to know everything you know. We want to discuss in depth the theories of those that came before us. And this doesn't just mean the older people who will read this post either. I'm talking just as much to my true peers here. Do not let the fear that you may be rejected stop you from sharing the information that may just save someone from a terrible relationship, situation, or even (and forgive my dramatics here) DEATH. 

This lifestyle can be very dangerous for all involved. The way we curtail that risk is, and forever will be, information. It is of the UTMOST importance that we, as a community, provide that information in every possible way as to reach as many needy minds as possible. 

My PMs are ALWAYS open and im more than willing to discuss theory for hours with anyone who can keep up, d-types and s-types alike. 

(Message deleted reason at bottem)

i received this message earlier and i have to admit it upset me quite a bit. If this is you or you know this person (i cut out the username on purpose but if you know the story) i ask that they know that running from problems is not the answer. If they truly are afraid we can help them. They did in fact delete the profile immediately after sending me this so i have no further info. 

Also, if you feel that you have the right to "take a woman" you are not a dom. You are a worm. You are a.peice of trash that deserves to be "taken" yourself... With a broom handle covered in pure capsaicin. You are a disgrace to this community and all those who built it, love it, live it, and nourish its existence. You are the reason good Doms are mistaken for abusers because you are what they fear we are. Please exit this community immediately and find some other place to spread your rape positive speech 

Ok, im off my soap box. Thank you kinky ppl for your time.

Edit notes: So i was contacted again by this person and asked to take down her message. I respected that request but i refuse to remove my words about anyone who is ACTUALLY in a situation like this. I've gotten many responses and it seems that (as normal) there is more than one side to this story and that this has been a fairly public event around here that i was unaware of. I am not "new" here as is obvious by my acct creation date but i have been absent for a good chunk of time. I pulled her message not because i think posting it was wrong but because there is to much bs in and around that specific situation. Thank you for understanding

”Brat Tamer”, is literally the dumbest nonsense I have ever heard. To start, why on earth would you want to tame them? That seems like breaking a wild stallion. Is it possible? Sometimes, but that's not the point. Brats can be loads of fun if corralled and attended to properly. So why would you want to “tame” that spirit? It's illogical and way more work than it's worth, because all you end up with is a S-type that's always and forever a good girl… Boring. Corralling Brats is like playing chess. You need to know all the rules of the game and out think them before they out think you.

First, I would like to say there are many types of Brats, but we are gonna focus on three; The “Attention Seeker”, the “Punishment Seeker” and the infamous “Bad Brat”.

“Attention Seeker” seem self explanatory right? They want your attention. But here's the issue: providing that attention reinforces the behavior, but denying the attention can make them spiral,see the problem? It becomes a juggling act very quickly but there's one phrase to always remember, losing the battle doesn't mean you won't win the war. Sometimes it's smarter to just sigh and run with it, than it is to actually correct the behavior, because you have already lost before you knew you were playing.

“Punishment Seekers” share that same catch 22 but with a twist. This type of Brat comes from a very special mindset where the S-type believe they inherently deserve to be punished and they act out to receive the punishment they already that they “know” they need. This leaves you in between 2 options: punish to provide them relief, or not punish and let them spiral while you dig out the real reason they feel they need it. So once again juggling act. Rome wasn't built in a day so a bit of both is generally the correct answer.

"Bad Brat” is a phrase tossed around this community like it's nothing but a phrase. It's not. It has a meaning AND it has a place. It's not just an S-type that doesn't do what they're told, when they’re told. It's an S-type that's not an S-type at all and is simply a manipulative, dishonest and overly disobedient person. Breaking rules does not a “Bad Brat” make. Breaking rules then lying about it? Breaking rules and refusing acceptable punishment? These are the red flags for a “Bad Brat”. If you find
yourself engaged with someone who has these markers you need to understand that you will not win. This chess board is rigged so that every time you think you're going to win, they flip the table over and set the pieces back up in a way guarantees your failure and then throw a fit when you try to tell them they can't do that. Don't play… just get out as soon as physically possible.

I hope you have enjoyed my little writing, as always feel free to contact me and tell me your thoughts, feelings and beliefs on this subject. May the Kink Gods smile upon you and the odds
be ever in your favor.

The degradation of the word slave, in opinion, is one of the great travesties this lifestyle has ever suffered. There is nothing wrong with a Dominant/Submissive dynamic but calling yourself a slave when you are not is wrong. Language is very important in this lifestyle because its the only tool we have to fully communicate our complex ideas and emotions. So, when you degrade the meaning of very important words you begin to erode our ability to say what we mean and truly mean what we say.

The standard D/s relationship has many rule/guidelines for how you interact with each other. There are limits and safe words and the ability to slow down a scene if things become a bit too
rough. 99% of all kink relationships fall into some subset of this category. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Calling yourself a Slave, on the other hand, is much more intense. A slave gets no say so. No hard limits, no safewords besides "I think im about to die. Are you sure?" Slaves are completely susceptible to the will of their Masters. A fully committed Slave will do literally anything that's required of them no matter how much they detest the idea or the situation. A true honest to goodness slave will end its own life if that's what is asked because it knows that its Master knows best and is doing what is best for them both. A Slaves only "safe word" is "I wish to be
released." The language you use to describe yourself is of the importance. It tells others how to interact
with you in a way that you enjoy and appreciate. If you choose to use the wrong words to describe yourself the only person to blame for someone interacting with incorrectly is yourself.
Choose your words carefully, they may guide your entire existence.