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The squeaks of a little mouse: from one sub to another..

Over the last year i have been proud to say that i had finally earned my first collar from an amazing Domme.

And over the last year i have experienced joys i never thought possible, but even with the best of intentions i made mistakes. And i have also been taught to work through such things in what i consider to be a healthy dynamic.

But if anything, these blogs would be aimed at helping other subs that are much newer than myself by sharing my experiences so far.

Each dynamic is different, just like people are. But there are some common threads about some of the basics that most Dominants would agree on. Just as there are different types of submission and roles to be played. This can all be very confusing at first, so..

i am here to speak some thoughts, pose some questions, and share the processes i had to go through up til this point so far in my journey.
6 years ago. October 21, 2017 at 3:54 PM

          Hello! And thank you A/ll for reading my second attempt at writing a blog lol. My first one touched on a somewhat serious topic, so when my Domme came to me with a fun idea for the next one i was happy to go along with it. 

 

          W/we decided to write and post a blog at the same time concerning something that happened during one of O/our sessions. My blog will be from my perspective of events, and Hers will be from Her perspective. So if you happen to stumble across mine first, please remember Her side of the story is out there to be read as well! But please note, due to the nature of this story, some descriptions will be slightly graphic, but i will try to do so tastefully.

 

          To catch you roughly up to speed on things, the Domme i serve is my first ever. The day i was gifted with my collar and name will always be one that happily marks the beginning of my journey as a submissive.

 

          Over the last year, She has gone through great lengths to help me explore myself and needs on many levels. We A/all have our kinks and fetishes, but nobody is experienced in everything under the sun and my Domme is no different.

 

          One by one, She has indulged me in every fantasy i have brought to Her attention. Most of which She has had past experience with, but W/we have also shared more than a couple firsts along the way. Whenever venturing into new territories She does some research, consults with others, and talks things through with me. But even with all the knowledge in the world unexpected things can and will happen. As long as a lesson is learned and everyone is healthy, its good to be able to laugh together about it later right? Lol.

 

          You might have guessed by the title of this blog that this story involves sounding. If sounding is a new term for you, its what one would call the act of gently inserting objects (usually long, narrow rods of varying sizes) into the tip of a penis and slowly eased in. 

 

          My Domme and i had successfully practiced this once before in a session with mutual pleasure, and i soon asked to experience it again. As usual, She was happy to indulge my request before long. This time She would have me blindfolded and lying on my back, while wrapped in plastic and bound to a table in Her dungeon.

 

          But to finish the set up here, i must mention that O/our sessions tend to be in a silent environment. When She is full Domme mode during them, She speaks very little. Her words, actions, and movements are always calm, deliberate, and calculated. Since i am usually facing the other way or often blindfolded during session, i have always had fun trying to guess whats coming next. And quite often i focus on Her breathing. i find it very soothing to hear and its one of the few things i can count on. So this is when things started getting a little sideways.. and funny. Lol. 

 

          Things started as expected. Her hands were busy, Her breathing steady, and Her focus at 100% as usual. Without even looking at Her i can guess Her state of mind and excitement to some extent. i could feel the rod sliding in and out when suddenly i felt it "hit bottom" inside me somewhere, somehow. It was a curious sensation. It didn't hurt, but also didn't feel what i though was normal in my mind. 

 

          A split second later i was distracted from this thought by something much more intriguing lol. i heard Her gasp Her breath as She suddenly and firmly grabbed hold of my manhood in a manner that made me instantly picture Her grabbing a venomous snake by the throat as if it was about to bite Her lol. 

 

          Now some people in my position would have been worried, but i was fascinated instead lol. My Domme, my Goddess, my definition of all that is calm and collected was showing signs of not being 100% of what to do next. Something was off, and i was all ears as i tried to guess what on earth would make Her tense up in such a way. After a few moments i heard a new sound escape from Her lips, a soft chuckle mixed with a sense of relief and excitement. Lol.

 

          Dying of curiosity i opened my eyes in attempt to see if anything was visible at all through my blindfold. Thankfully by this moment it had shifted just enough to allow me to see Her face,  just as She finished removing the rod from inside me and letting out a deep breath. The expression She had was just as unforgettable as Her soft chuckle lol. Her eyes were big and Her jaw was slightly dropped, all while She carried a slight grin on the corner of Her face. A sight i will never forget.

 

          It was at this point She informed me on what had happened. Even though the rods seemed more than long enough to safely hold during the act, W/we learned that it can actually slip further inside me than either of U/us knew possible. Far enough to disappear from eyesight or reach! Lol. It was completely inside me and gone, but it only took Her a few moments to begin removing it before i could see what occurred. How She removed it from there so fast is still a mystery to me, but She clearly has finesse lol.

 

          After this, W/we shared a laugh and moved onto the next activity of the evening. All ended well, nobody was hurt, and lessons were certainly learned by both of U/us. i know it was something W/we will always remember, but it was the look on Her face that night i will cherish the most. 

 

          So remember,  always play safe, communicate with each other, and always try to laugh at all the "oops!" moments You can! It's O/our unforeseen moments that can create the best memories ever, and exploring with my Domme has never been more fun.. :)

 

          

6 years ago. October 17, 2017 at 1:26 AM

When i met my Goddess about a year ago She sat me down and conducted a thorough and proper interview on me. She asked all the right questions most Dommes would to make sure there weren't any immediate deal breakers before moving forward with things. Questions about my childhood, mental/physical well being, family or relationship situations, drug issues, and all the important things worth getting out of the way early on. It was a night i will never forget, for two reasons..

#1 - i finally met my first true Domme that was willing to give me a chance to earn my first collar, which i did.

#2 - It was also the day i withheld seriously important information from Her out of fear of another rejection.

i answered all questions quickly and honestly, except one. i had been so desperate for so long to experience my first true acts of submission, that i didn't tell Her about past health issues that She truly needed to know about from the start.

As O/our bond grew it killed me more and more to keep the secret from Her. Then recently i knew it was time to let Her know, even though i might lose my collar in the process.

So earlier tonight She decided how She wanted to approach the situation and how to punish me for my actions. Once it was done, She told me its all going to be ok and that we will move past this. i nodded silently, already knowing that i wouldn't be able to forgive myself nearly as quickly as She did, considering the nature of my confession. So here's my question to A/anyone that has experienced something like this before and would like to share how they handled it..

Has anyone felt guilty as ever even after severe punishment was given? Even after She held You close afterwards to calm you and explain that it's over with and She understood why you did what you did?

i want to move on as She told me to do, but the guilt won't let me.for awhile yet. How do i move on when i still feel so guilty..?